the next phase | ADHD Information

Thanks again!
He's back from school. He's completely fine. I made a big deal out of
nothing. Now I just have to see how well it affects him.Glad to hear everything went well today and I hope it continues for you and your son. Good Luck and Congrats!I've been around here for a while. I posted in the medication forum, too
(or replied to someone else and sort of took over the post - sorry about
that!)

I've been very vocal for the past year that it's possible not to medicate
your child, and that environmental changes can make a huge difference
so remember to try that route. I also have been extremely supportive of
the use of medication, and I completely believe that ADHD medications
are as necessary as any other kind of prescribed medication for children.

My son took a downturn. And just like his doctor said, it was obvious to
everyone he needed to be medicated, and the turn was pretty fast.

So this morning I filled his prescription for Concerta. And my darling
mother immediately started tut tutting that I was putting my child on
speed.

Obviously I'm raw about this. I feel like I was a failure, like if I tried just a
little harder working with my son he wouldn't have had to go on meds. Of
course, I know I'm wrong about that, but I can beat myself up better than
my mom can any day of the week.

As big a struggle as it was to get the school on line with what my son
needs, now that he's going to be medicated, I'm glad everything is
already in place to help him out. And his daily goal/reward sheet is now
being used by 14 students at his school - I started that, and it's now
helping a bunch of kids.

I think I might wait to start the pills this weekend. Maybe I'll do it
tomorrow. I really feel like I'm going to have to amass a well of strength
to do it - when I was pregnant I had preeclampsia, and I wouldn't take
Tylenol when I got a headache, even though that was one of the best
ways to tell if my disease was advancing because I didn't want to harm
the baby, even though I knew it wouldn't do any harm. This is tough for
me!

But this whole thing has been tough for me, and we've got through it, and
thrived. And my son deserves to have an easier time focusing - he's
earned it, working as hard as he has to learn anything at school. The
positives outweigh the negatives, and his doctor is very involved, we
already have his next 2 appointments scheduled.

Can you see I'm trying to talk myself into being okay with this? When it
became obvious to me, I was all about making it happen, getting him
squeezed into an appointment with his overbooked doctor and getting
documentation from the school to prove he needed medication. Now that
I've done it I'm losing my nerve.

Thanks for listening to me vent/remember what's really important.

Everything will be o.k.. There is nothing wrong about how you feel but you are a good mother to do what is necessary at this time.We have just started Concerts as well and I find it good to start on a weekend when you can observe. but With Concerta 18mg is the lowest dose and we had good luck so far. It took a couple of weeks to get full effect of the meds.

You didn't ask to live with ADHD anymore than your son did !!!  It is okay to feel like this.  You are struggling b/c you don't want to medicate but also b/c that seems to be his only option right now.  Man, how I relate.  I view medicating my daughter as giving her a tool to help her help herself.  If she were diabetic you would not hesitate to give her insulin.  Stimulants are nothing like speed and I would love to have the debate with anyone who says they are.  Perhaps suggest to your mother she read up on it more before passing judgement (politely of course)  In the end, everyone thinks they know better and could handle it better (often my response, so you take her home for a week then!!!)  They don't though.  If they did, wouldn't we be paying them as professionals?

I cried leading up to my DD starting the meds, the day she did, and checked on her constantly b/c of the side effects that are common.  It was difficult.  However, nothing compares to the difference we see in her now.  How can anyone discredit that?  As I sit here now she is cracking up laughing in the other room with her brother.  Music to my ears

You've worked very hard to try to help your son be successful without meds, so you have no reason to feel badly about deciding that it's time to give them a try.   I think we all hope that the behavioral interventions will be enough, but the fact is that the behavioral intervention don't help their brains to function better- only the meds do that.

It is a tough decision, but you're doing the right thing for your son.  Don't listen to your mother- mine was (is) the same way.  My in-laws came around after seeing the difference.  Perhaps your mother will too.

I don't remember how old your son is, but I dealt with my son's (he's 10) fears over the safety of his meds last year after he brought home some info from Cub Scouts about drugs/alcohol.  Of course, ritalin and adderall were on it and it said that you could die the first time you took it.   So he flipped and thought he was going to die.  We talked about how I wouldn't give him something that would hurt him, and more importantly, how his doctor (who he trusts and adores as the authority on everything) would never ever give him something that would hurt him.  I explained that the only people who got hurt from the meds are the ones who aren't getting it from a doctor and that they aren't using it the right way.  Then I went online and found some research studies that showed how safe the meds are.  I don't know about your son, but mine will do just about anything if it's prefaced with "Doctor L. said. . ."     
Thanks again!

The turn was so extreme - in the course of 2 months he went from
getting perhaps 13/15 on spelling tests (I'm going to have him tested for
dysgraphia because he's an excellent reader) to 3/15 in a separate
classroom with an aid reading each word 6 times. He loves math and
taught himself how to multiply and divide, but on timed addition and
subtraction tests he went from getting in the low 20's to less than 10.
Any idiot could see he needed the medication.

I think I'm going to start him tomorrow. Having the doctor's okay to push
it back to the weekend helped me out a lot, actually. I feel like I still have
a level of control over this, which I appreciate tremendously. He has a
short day at school tomorrow. He'll be gone for less than 5 hours, and I
can let the school know about the meds so they can call me if anything
comes up, which it won't I'm sure.

So today I'm depressed about losing the fight; tomorrow I'll be a basket
case. I'll keep you updated. PS - I turned around and the bottle of pills was gone - my son threw them
in the trash.    We'll get through it.

Anyone know of a good therapist for parents of ADHDers?    Actually, your timing seems good, since you've got all of the help in place at school. I spent k before I did it, and it was a wheel-spinning experience indeed, requiring back-breaking effort on my part to keep his academic head just above water. Thanks so much for your support. Now I have to deal with my son's fear of
the medicine, which I might have contributed to by explaining over and over
again for the past year why he wasn't on medication. He's afraid he'll
change, and he's afraid he'll die. I'm hoping that once he's actually taking it
he'll like the positive effects of it.
Thanks again!

Hi,

IMO, accomodations in school, behavior charts, consistent parenting and the such can make an improvement. BUT,these stradegies help very little if any on the social aspect of these children's lives. Their social and emotional lives are dependant on them fitting in socially with their peers. And fitting in socially is a big factor in their mental health. It wasn't until I was made aware of my son's mental health factors I decided to medicate. It has been difficult to find the right medication and dose but has been worth all the effort.

Also, I don't discuss AT ALL with anyone who is not on a "need to know" basis regarding the medications. If a person is not an educator, medical doctor or other person who has direct knowledge of ADHD children (and I mean has first hand experience) I do not discuss the medication. Simply put they are not experts or knowledgeable and their opinions will probably only annoy me. I don't want my medical information broadcast to everyone and I consider my children's privacy as well. When they are older it might change but for now I discuss medication with very few people.  Both of my children have ADHD but they present very differently. Good luck and remember if medication does not wrk you don't have to continue.

 

[QUOTE=Corrina]PS - I turned around and the bottle of pills was gone - my son threw them
in the trash.    We'll get through it.

Anyone know of a good therapist for parents of ADHDers?    [/QUOTE]

Yes - mine is wonderful!  His support and guidance has been huge.  I've read more books that I probably should have and working one-on-one with someone has been better than all the books I have read.   He's had great practical solutions that work for our family and situation.   I don't know that I would have made it through the rough period we had with my daughter without him.   

He's also been helping me through my midlife crisis....
I'm just having a little crisis of my own over these stupid pills. Really, I
need to just get over it.

I have been unambiguous with my son - he's taking these pills because
they will help him and he needs and deserves them. And we have a deal
that if they "change him" we will stop using this prescription. Period.

I need someone to smack me upside the head and tell me the same
thing.   

I'm sure that in a month I'll look back at this and think I'm acting
ridiculous. And I'll be proud of myself for pushing through this larger
than life fear on behalf of my son. I already think I'm ridiculous, and
maybe even a bit hypocritical. Maybe not - I might not like this, but I'm
definitely going to do it, so at least I'm not withholding medication from
my son because of my own insecurities. I know I'm strong enough to get
through this - I've already gone through way worth stuff unscathed other
than being just a bit bitter. Well, I did it. Or rather my son did. It was a little bit of drama getting
him to take it because he doesn't swallow pills well, but it's down and he's
off to school on the bus.

Now I'm relieved and exhausted (wonder why). I got all worked up for
something that, although it was a big thing, a really big thing, it wasn't
worthy of being so personally invested in.

I was surprised that it would be so much a struggle for me. Again, I
really think medication is a great thing when it's needed. Thank God that
my kid has that option available. But I really really didn't want him to be
medicated. I feel like it's going to shackle him forever more.

Next thing to research - what are the signs that it's time to get off the
medication and how to ease him away from it. I prepared for a whole
year to put him on it (and wasn't that successfully prepared when the
time came); I've got to prepare for the day he comes off it, because
something tells me I'll be just as scared.

Jeesh, I'm an awfully tough wimp when it comes down to it!

Thanks again for listening to me vent (fall apart, be ridiculous).    Corina- Meds are not a bad thing and you need to see this. If he changes in any way you or he doesn't like you stop that one and try something else. We are on our 3rd med and I NEVER wanted him medicated. but the day came when I had to bite the bullet and give him the meds. Good Luck!Thanks again!
I know that in my head, but I'm really surprised that I had such a strong
reaction.

I called the school to tell the nurse and she was amazed that he went on
meds and asked me why. I explained to her the sharp dive he took and
that that was one of the two things his doctor said to watch for as a sign
that it was time for medication. I was adamant that I wasn't going to be
bullied by the school into medicating him. But I said straight from the
start that if the environmental changes and the care for his executive
skills problems that his doctor suggested stopped working he'd be on
meds. I guess she didn't believe me - she must have thought I was just
digging in my heels and refusing to medicate. I love that I have that
reputation. I hope this makes them realize that I really have my son's
best interests in mind only, not that I just like to fight with the school.

I think I should go take a nap before my son comes home from school.
They have a half day today - that's another reason I decided to start it
rather than wait for the weekend.Well I am on your side, It takes alot to parent a child with ADHD. Enjoy your nap.Thanks again!
And nap? Did you seriously think that would happen?

My younger son is almost 7 (he will be 7 in April) and has ALWAYS been incredibly bright, extremely verbal and has a wonderful social life. However, in kindergarten he was pegged as the "kid who always talks, etc" and this is after him being in school for 2 years (he was in preschool). Our pediatrician was concerned but under his advisement, he asked us to wait and see how first grade started. (this ped is also the father of one of my son's friends .... so he'd seen my son both in an academic setting, social, etc... he KNEW what my son was capable of). We both thought that the issue was a teacher/student personality conflict. Well, turns out that might of been part of it, but once first grade started, things just kept going downhill and my son wasn't learning much, if anything.

He was officially diagnosed in Dec '08 and began meds. He's been on them now for a month and a half and has been doing WONDERFULLY! If you read my post "A light bulb moment for my son" here on this board, you'll see what I mean. He even told me one evening that as much as he HATES taking the medicine (we mix it in either pudding or peanut butter for him) that he can FEEL it working and keeps his impulses in check "I don't HAVE to talk all the time now mommy!". It's amazing how much HE sees a difference in himself. He doesn't complain about homework (as much ;) that Nintendo DS is a huge pull for his attention... lol) and it's usually done in a reasonable amount of time (15-25mins). School is so much better, etc.

HTH!