Hi
I am a terrified mother, my son, who is 9 and has ADHD and PDD-NOS is starting a new school in a few days time and I am terrified of how that much change will affect him.
His school history is difficult, he went undiagnosed in 2 private schools and due to his behaviour and outbursts was asked to leave, I was at a total loss, he was then misdiagnosed with Asperger's for me only to get another diagnosis of ADHD and PDD-NOS.
I had him in a public school which was okay for the first few months, then he got a new teacher and it just all fell apart, he ended up being placed in a special unit for emotionally disturbed kids with bad behaviour with smaller class sizes and special teachers, this was not a very positive experience for him, the kid he was with were often very damaged and I think he learnt some wrong role modelling, he used to go to mainstream class in the afternoons.
I went through hell with the school, he would run out of class, spend time in the principals office, get suspended, I got phone calls every day and they would often not implement the things the consultants had recommended to help his school day.....then he got a new mainstream teacher whom I thank God for and a new Special Ed teacher who was awesome, between the 2 of them plus him going on to 20mg Ritalin daily his life changed.
He was able to move from the special unit to mainstream class for the whole of last term and NEVER ran out of class, disrupted it and I got no phone calls, his teacher really believed in him and he became very settled (apart from struggling with peer relationships and friendships still)
Then we moved house and the school is too far away, his teacher thinks he is ready for the change but I am terrified that he will get the wrong teacher and all the new things will set him backwards again, very scared mummy! The school has a good name and the Principal is used to kids wiht ADHD in the school but I am still worried, have I made a mistake in moving him?
His last teacher said that he had a reputation from his past out there behaviour at the old school and that the kids knew he was in the special class, she felt a clean slate where kids can see him as he is would be good, I am not convinced, he scares kids away because he is so desperate for friends that he suffocates them and controls them in fear of losing them, then he drives them away.
Has anyone else survived a scary school change that can offer support?
My son has Adjustment Disorder and does not respond well to change at all. I would go to the new school and the potential teachers and see what they have to offer. if it looks good, then change schools. If it does not can you stay where you are (in school)? Anyway I know how if feels as my 10 year old DS gets nuts over any change. It could be good for him.Hey, you are livnig my life! My 9 yr old son (undx in two private schools!) began in a new school three yrs ago. Very scary, he left behind all of his pals, was very sensitive to the fact he had repeated kindergarten, plus we had just moved into a new house/community. The first year stank. Phone calls, red lights (indicating behavior problems) and my son barely survived. An official dx and meds made a big difference. The key however was me being supremely proactive with the administration. As in 'my son will need accomodations, as in here are the occupational therapy tools he will need to get through the day.' Conferences almost every third week. Here is a list of suggestions that will help him in the classroom. Helicopter parent? I'm on it. My son needed me to run interference to make sure that his new school was aware of his situation and taking the steps to ensure his day was smooth. A ton of work on my part, but I am his advocate, especially in a new environment. Tough to do with a special needs toddler at home, but we made it work. This is his third year there (it is a Catholic school with 500+ students) and things have been great. It is a commitment on your part to stay involved (do your best not to get envious of the parents who send off their kids to school with nary a care) but it has paid off. Your child can start with a clean slate. My son also picks up on my anxiety about ths school life, so I have made an effort to present a cool and collected attitude. He attends morning care every day (dropped off at 7:15 so he can run around the gym before spending 8 long hours in a classroom). I emphasize to his teachers that we are a team and all we want is my kid to have a positive learning experience. We threw a ton of changes at my son, things he could not control. Patience, understanding, occupational therapy at home (he has sensory integration disorder in addition to adhd) and just letting him be a kid has helped this transition. I hope you stay the course. Friendships for kids with adhd can be so very trying, we continue to struggle with that part of his life. I hope that you check back here often, this forum has been a lifeline for my family. BTW, my son is on 10 mg focalin xr and 1.5 clonidine (p.m.) and it has helped tremendously. Good luck, with the right things tweaked, your child will surprise you.
