adhd dating/love | ADHD Information

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urthogie38834.4835185185By being very honest about my faults and saying sorry when it is needed and acknowledging I am not ALWAYS right.

Maybe you date them because you feel since you have problems you need to find someone else with problems. If your partner didn't have any serious problmes then all the attention would be focused on whats wrong with you. You think someone without problems wouldn't want to deal with what you have going on for long so these other relationships are easier.

Could be wrong of course lol I don't even do relationships. Well I only do shallow ones. Just offering my thoughts.

Until recently I had a habit of dating someone for about a month or so, before going, "Oh can I see them being with me for the long haul and liking me regardless?" and I never could, so I'd break it off, often quite abruptly.

I don't think there has ever been any rhyme or reason to my choice of dates- just that they have to have a great sense of humour and the ability to have a good verbal joust (throwing jokes back and foward!). And the way they treat others says a lot about them. Actually, now that I think about it I have dated a few musicians, but that's probably because of the fact I work in the industry.

Good news- I finally found someone! I think it works as we can laugh about things and he is very kind and patient. An absolute gem. And yes, a part-time musician who works in a music company! I'm teaching him how to surf at the moment and we're having a lot of fun. He's even met the family and fits right in so I couldn't be happier.

But I've always found I would much rather be single than settle for second best. I think that's why I never got serious with anyone until now. Good luck with your dating endeavours- the best advice I can give you is to find someone with a good attitude and kind spirit, and the ability to laugh and work with you.

word man!  i hear you on all of this.  the problem with being friends too long is they start to permenantly see you as friends, and it can never elevate.  also, i think you may be right in saying i subconciously seeking out girls like this.

i think it has more to do with my insecurity than anything else-- throughout my life i've lost faith in my own social skills so i think (at some level) that i dont deserve to maintain a relationship with someone who functions normally in society.

deep sh*t, huh?

well, things are slowly getting better-- the good news is every girlfriend ive had is a bit less crazy than the last :)

[QUOTE=urthogie]the good news is every girlfriend ive had is a bit less crazy than the last :)
[/QUOTE]

 

That is good News .  It is great when we learn from our mistakes!  Mine got better as I learnt more about myself, and what I wanted and what I deserved.

If I had a low self esteem, then I usually ended getting with people that treated me like crap.

Also, I wrote a list of everything I wanted in a partner and then this man walked into my life that met almost everything on this list - except he is a smoker (oh well cant have everything), but I have been happily married now for 5 years.

urthogie!

    I feel for you man, because it happens with me too! Suicides, anorexics, and just plain freakin out nuts. I quit dating for a year now (it was actually last year's resolution for me!) and I'm freakin happy as hell. Of course, the majority of my friends are female, so I tend to keep from crossing that line to keep a better friendship. Plus, you get highly respected that way. I hope my advice doesn't suck too bad. But you should try it. You learn alot more quicker if you stay friends first. See how they act in tight situations before you lay down the rope.

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One more thing, maybe subconciously you date them because you think you can help them. Like, yes you see all the good, hoping that if she's happy and having fun it will just drown out the bad. You seem to have alot of compassion for people. You don't so much get stuck as you do stay and help. That's why guys like us have suffered in these types of experiences.