Hiya All,
First of all, let me introduce myself.
I'm BeeJay, Im 17, and im a singer/songwriter/actor from the UK. I'm not going to go all "Woe is me" on you all, as I know that you have all probably gone through the same as I am going through.
Im so glad i'v found this place. Im been looking for a place to find people like me for a long time.
Obviously, I am ADHD. I have no idea when I was diagnosed; all i know is that my parents knew from the start. I found out on a holiday when I was about 7/8ish, when I got obsessed with the idea that If i tried to swallow anything solid i would choke. Because I believe it it because true, and I was on tomato soup for the whole holiday. My parents tried everything to get me to eat, e.g. tempting me with chinese, indian, kfc LOL. I couldnt eat it. Eventually they had to tell me.
Ever since I have been on the drugs; first ritalin and now concerta. Iv never found making friends easy, I have a severe lack of understanding of how other people without ADHD think and since I became a Teen I'v been clashing with my ADHD father frequently. My mum has alot of trouble coping, needless to say. Luckily, even as a complete loner iv been able to (just about) cope with school and maintain a social life, building a reputation in my area as a respected young performer. I was able to earn 6 A's, a B, a C and a BTEC Merit at GCSE, even though I know i could'v done better with concentration.
However, recently things have been deteriorating, since I started 6th Form. The clashes with dad are getting more and more frequent and explosive. My work has slipped so that in half my subjects I am failing. I have lots of coursework that is WAY overdue and to make it worse, every time i attempt to do coursework/homework, the nagging of my mum frustrates me into an absolute state and thus prevents me from working. My girlfriend tried to help but she has lots of trouble understanding my wiring.
So i'v made a decision to myself; I WILL control this gift which is currently cursing me. Unfortunatly, apart from my dad, who is never really much help, I have no one to talk to about my problems who understands. not even my shrink can sit and talk with me alone as my mum always insists on attending. Iv starting reading up on this gift but it can only teach me so much.
Im scared that I will never be able to control myself fully, and thus fail not only myself, but my parents and girlfriend, plus the few people who i have known who HAVENT immedietly said that this doesnt exist, and instead supported me.
All my life i'v wanted to be understood. Needed to be. I constantly feel like im living inside myself while the world passes me by, and I cant let this happen anymore.
Can anyone offer any past experiences and/or advice on how to move to the next step in my life? Im scared of growing up; the thought of being 18 petrifies me, but I know that it's inevitable and thus I have started my search for control.
Please help me. I don't want to be alone in this anymore.
Thank you everyone in advance. I feel lucky that this site even exists.
Its a beacon of hope for everyone with ADHD who feels like they are the only one.
Now I know i'm not.
Thanks,
Bee
Hi Bee-
I'm 37 and still going through the strugle. Things have not gotten easier as I have gotten older. I still cope with the same issues I did when I was your age.
My parents still nag me even though they have learned to give me a little space. It took awhile to even get them to understand I wanted to be 113 miles north of them, but they deal with it.
They too want to sit in on my seasons, but they let me draw the line and come in after wards.
I am too a musician and play guitar.
We can talk more in private if you like. I think we can help each other out.
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