My 15 year old son has ADHD | ADHD Information

Hello everyone, I am new to this group and am looking for advice/support for other parents who are parenting children with ADHD.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 7.  Impulsivity is a big issue for him.  He was medicated until the 8th grade.  He went through the 8th grade and now in the 9th grade without taking medication.  I am beginning to think that no medication may be hindering him and am looking for advice from other parents who have stopped medication or have stories to share about their teenagers.

I am always wondering if some of my son's behavior is from ADHD or just normal teenage behavior.

Thank you everyone for your advice and support.

Thanks for the responses!!!

So, I decided to take Tyler off the medication in 8th grade because he was participating in sports and he seemed sluggish on the medication.  The dr changed his dosage to see if it would make a difference, but it didn't help.  So, we wheened him off the medication slowly, and he started to do so much better in sports.  His reflexes became quicker, etc.

Tyler's main problem is being impulsive.  He definitely reacts before thinking.

He has plenty of friends.  I was seeing some borderline depression issues for awhile, but nothing consistent.  He is definitely interested in his future, etc.  I really do think he has learned to "adjust" to his ADHD, whereas he couldn't when he was younger.

However, there are times when he definitely "flies off the handle" at innappropriate times.  For example, he has a really hard time in math class and doesn't like his teacher.  One day he just got up from his desk, said he couldn't take it anymore, and headed to the principal's office.  The teacher told him he needed to sit down and not leave, but there was nothing stopping him.

So, it is instances like that that makes me worry.  I definitely see him having to work harder on homework and his grades aren't as high as they were when he was on meds, but a lot of time has passed and he is in high school now.   In some classes he has to work really hard just to get a C.  But then again, I don't have ADHD and there were classes that I had to work hard just to get a C!!!  His report cards say he socializes too much in class, which worries me that he is having a hard time concentrating.

I am just concerned about side effects if he went back on the medication.  His dr. didn't recommend he stop the medication, and I know that if I take him back she will definitely recommend he go back on the medication.  I am so on the fence about it.  Being a teenager is hard enough and I am so worried that ADHD is just making it so much harder for him and I wonder if things would be "easier" for him if he took medication.  He doesn't want to take the medication.

I read a lot about the teenagers not wanting to take the meds. I think that it the child becoming independent.

I agree with your thoughts, it is making it harder for him, but he doesn't realize it because he is still a child. You are dealing with I think both his adhd impulsive behaviours and the teen stuff.

You are also dealing with puberty as well.

I personally would have my child still on meds. Mine plays sports as well, but isn't sluggish due to the time they start. We worry about the meds wearing off and him being impulsive and a bother with his behavior to others.

Our son is more of the adhd that also has the socially immature aspect going on. He is extremely brilliant intelectually, however, socially, he has struggled. A lot mostley to being labeled much earlier on and it still following him due to life in a small town and the kids. Middle school has been so much better for him.

Our son also knows everything we have been through with fighting for him at the school and helping him with bullying that he respects our decisions enough not to fight us. He will be 12. He has also asked if he needs meds for the rest of his life and I have said YES, I believe that for you to be at your very best that you  do.We also do NOT give med breaks. He has adhd 7 days a week/ 24 hours a day. He does eat and sleep, no issues there. It is also hard to start the meds again on Monday after stopping for the weekend. IT really knocks the person for a loop.

I would REALLY talk with him about meds. It will only get harder, especially with high school gradauation and college or whatever just around the corner.

My very best to you and your family. Please let us know how things are going. Our teen years are just around the corner!

I have questions for you:
What caused you to make the decision to stop using medication for your son in 8th grade?
What symptoms, problems, or issues is he having now that have caused you to rethink that decision?

I don't have experience with stopping medication, but I do have a teenager (no ADHD) and a nearly-teen with inattentive type ADHD. It is always hard to determine what is "normal" teen behavior. They can be very challenging to say the least!  Sometimes you have to try to step back and look at the big picture. Is your child learning and functioning reasonably well in school? Does he have a friend or two? Does he feel good about himself? Does he have interests and dreams for the future? Does he make decent decisions most of the time, at least on important stuff? Do you have a good relationship with him, at least deep down, most of the time?

Hi momtotyler,

My son is almost 12. he would never survive a day at school without meds. he is very hyper and impulsive. He is also very intelligence, but the H and impulsivity gets in his way.

Does he have friends, how are his grades? Any trouble doing things to get in serious trouble?

Thank you everyone for your great responses.  It is so nice to talk with people that live with ADHD in their homes. 

Tyler and I will be talking to his doctor to see about medication choices. 

I do agree that as long as he doesn't have a lot of red flags, then he must be handling things alright without the meds.  I just want to make sure that he is struggling when he doesn't need to.  Maybe some time back on new medication may be an eye opener for him.

I will definitely give an update on how things are going and what his doctor says.

My two cents:
I can see why you're on the fence. If a child cannot function without meds then it is a pretty obvious decision to use meds.
But in your son's case, you had a valid reason for stopping the meds and it sounds like your son is doing pretty well off meds.
I think all teens occasionally "fly off the handle" inappropriately. I also think that if your son was "losing it" in math class, walking out and going to the principal's office was a pretty good choice. Certainly better than a lot of things he could have done (like throwing things are yelling obscenities)! If things like this are happening frequently and you are getting lots of calls from the school, then I would be concerned, but if it is just a few incidents, I would classify that as "normal" teen behavior.
I also think "socializing too much" is probably the number one complaint that teachers have about teens (and preteens).  You might be able to talk to the teachers about seating your son in the least-distracting area possible because of his ADHD. Does he have a 504 plan? He may be eligible for some accommodations.
Although Bethann is correct that your son may not realize how ADHD is affecting him because he is a child and teens don't always have the best judgement (!!!!), I also think you have to take his thoughts into consideration. It is his body and his mind and only he knows how he feels. I agree that it's a good idea to talk to him about the meds and the pros and cons. It's also possible that you could find a med that works well for him and doesn't have the side effects he experienced before.
However I also think it sounds like your son is coping well off meds overall, and I think I would be inclined to leave things as they are unless some big red flags appear.

Hi Bethann!

I posted an update on my son in another thread - didn't want to hijack this one.

I noticed that your son's name is Tyler, my son's name is Tyler and MomtoTyler has a son named Tyler.  So I am wondering if there is some connection to being named Tyler and having ADHD - do you think if we had named our boys Tom or Mattew they wouldn't be ADHD?!  

Kim

Funny mama!!

But then again, the #1 name is Michael, who is my husband and he too has it!! LOL!!

Hi MomtoTyler! 

I am also the mom to a 13 year old ADHD Tyler.  You have found a great place to get info and support.  I read with great interest your post and the ones that followed.  I too often find it confusing to figure out what is ADHD behavior and what is just teenager stuff.  My DS was dx'd ADHD when he was 5 and had been on meds 24/7 ever since.  Then, last year, in 6th grade (we moved to a new town) he had a terrible year with being bullied and was suddenly having trouble paying attention even with meds.  Ultimately he developed some anxiety thanks to the bullying and stress of everything. So , when school let out I took him off of meds just to see where he was.  I hadn't seen him off meds since he was 5.  I also was concerned that his meds were making his anxiety worse.  I had every intention of starting meds later in the summer or at the latest when school started.  We also tried some diet changes, etc. that worked really well for his hyperness.  Anyway, when school started(7th grade) he was doing so well we decided to try school without meds.  He did very well - good grades and only minor issues (socializing too much in class, some issues with staying focused, being a bit impulsive at times) and when I went to the school (twice) to see if they thought I should put him back on meds, all of his teachers felt his bahavior was within normal range for a middle schooler.  So still no meds.  He is gifted so I think that helps him compensate for his ADHD.  I also beleive that some of his current "lack of focus" is due to being bored.  Several months ago I finally pulled him from school (still dealing with some bullying) and put him in a public cyber school.  So far it has been great. 

My son and I discuss meds at times and he isn't opposed to going back on them.  I feel that eventually he will need meds again (especially when he starts driving!).  It is nice right now to have a break and work on some natural alternatives.  I will be very interested in hearing what you decide and if your son goes back on meds, I will be  interested in knowing if he finds them helpful.  It is nice when our kids can recognize that they have ADHD and can tell us how they feel.  Like you, I don't want my son to struggle if he doesn't need to. 

You said your son doesn't want to go back on meds but maybe you can convince him to try again with the agreement that he can stop if he doesn't like how they make him feel (but only if he tries several as it may take trying several to find one that doesn't have adverse side effects).  Also, my son played sports for years and we never noticed that he was sluggish on meds.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

Talk to him and see how he feels about medication. At 14 you can tell
whether you like taking it, want to take it and need to take it better than
adults think. I am 18 now, but started taking medicine only on schools
days when I was 11. I did stop for a little while, but my grade were bad
and I went back on medication. It was always my decision though. If I
didn't like the one I was taking or wanted to change anything, I would tell
my parents and we would work it out. At 14 you really can't force a kid to
take medicine. I say let him make the decision. This doesn't mean you
can't help. Explain what his options are(maybe he would do well on a
short acting pill that could ware off by the time he is playing sports or
non stimulant like stratera), talk about the pros and cons and that
college's will see his grade now, so he should take those into
consideration. If he doesn't have a 504 plan I would look into that
because it really helped me. Maybe you could look at other things too,
like a tutor for some of the classes he is working really hard in but
getting C's. He seems like a good kid and he would probably respond
best to and respect you a lot if you gave him some control. Medication is
not the only thing you can do to treat adhd also. A lot of parents don't
seem to realize that medication does not help as much as you think. Just
because you up the dose or something, does not mean that the grades
will get better. I have failed multiple classes while on medication and
gotten a 4.0 with hardly any medicine. A lot of it depends on motivation.
Medicine will help, however, it does really make you feel different and
most people don't like it. It is hard to explain, but I think many parents
don't realize what it is like to take drugs that effect your brain. When I
started taking medicine, I did not make many connections between side
effects and medicine. I did hate it and it made me really quite which made
socializing in middle school a lot harder.

Hey Greyhoundmom,

Wow, I read your post. I am so impressed with your son! He has done very well without meds. Good for you being such an awesome mom!!

I also CANNOT believe that the school never got rid of the bulling (and bully!!). What a disgrace.

So now he is in public school, how is T's social life? I hope better, I really do!!

My Tyler has had a great middle school year as far as that stuff goes. We got off to a bumpy start with 4 boys from my son's football team, ended up going to the police, per our football commissioner, as well as to the principal's office since the bullies brought it to school - my son never did anything they just wanted to pick on him. Well the principal nipped it in the butt (those kids will never go near my son again in their life for their own fear) and the police went to everyones home. Parents are in denial, but that is their problem - keep your problem away from my child! ) The whole town found out and the bullies and their families looked really bad.

The police, who we know from football as well, told us that a week later they (the police) had to kick 3 of the 4 out of a high school football game for their behavior. Those kids are now labeled by the police!!

Please post how your T is doing in public with his social. Great to read your posts!!