Advocate coming | ADHD Information

That's so great that you've now got an Advocate for your son, especially since the teacher is causing problems. Best of luck with the meeting! Let us know how it goes and what happens.
My daughter's 504 meeting is coming up too, and I am nervous because she's doing so well this year, I'm always afraid they will way she doesn't need a 504 anymore. I need to do some preparation...

That is great that you have an advocate to help you! I am always amazed at how nasty some teachers can be and the fact that some of the problems our kids deal with are the result of these nasty teachers. I know there are more good teachers than bad ones, but having had one really bad one now, I have lost a lot of faith in the teaching profession.

Good luck!

Kim

Thank You for your support. I am just praying that she will help us achieve our final goal which is to go to 6th grade with an IEP and a chosen school. This is very hard in LAUSD ( Los angeles school district.) So for now we will wait until our 504 meeting which the teacher has refused to adhere to so now I go with the Advocate.

I have hired an Advocate for my son, she will be at school to observe him before the big 504 meeting friday. since they knew she was coming the teacher has strted signing his assignment book every day since 12th.she hasn't done it all year. Now I found out My son loses recess eevery time he has to go to the bathroom. Against the 504. Noone else has been singled out this way. I think his struggles in school come from the teacher more than him. She is not a nice lady.

I pray we win our IEP coming later. Friday is for 504 do-over.

Hi Caseysmom!

If they are being cruel, contact the school and tell them what this teacher is doing and that it is to stop NOW!! They can get in serious trouble if they are doing something unacceptable!! Contact special ed, the principal, the superintendant. Tell them what is happening.

what do they punish your child for? Is it warranted? Is he medicated? I would call a meeting and tell them you know they are not following the 504 plan.

Is the teacher being cruel with her punishments? Is he labeled and treated differently from the others?? Sorry for the questions, I just want to help. I really get upset at this happening because it happend to my son to!!

I don't know if it was mentioned, but check out wrightslaw.com - they are a married couple, attorneys, with an adhd son. They really know the laws. there is also a yellow pages link that can help you find things in your state, agencies that can help you.

Please post any questions/answers so we can help!!

BETHANN39892.116712963

spamula - I live in Massachusetts by the way. I noticed you mentioned that you weren't sure which state I was in.

Let us know how it goes, stay strong and stick up for your child!!

I will be thinking of you!!

Spamula,

I just wanted you to know that I would be thinking of you today as you go to your meeting. Don't let them push you around - you know your son better than anyone and you know what he needs!

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

I want to thank all of you who have supported me in such a good way it has really helped. I am definatly keeping that website in case. I will let everyone know what is happened after the meeting. Again thanks so much! BETHANN you really have become a mentor of somewhat for me thank you so much.

So we had a 3hr meeting with the vice principal, the teacher, the Advocat The school Psychologist. About 13 into the 1st hour the teacher got up and left the room sobbing in tears and she daid she could not return. The Advocate tryed to get her to come back , she did not, basically my son's reportcard today had bee upgraded via the work he produces doesn't match his potential by far. Still no teacher , Paperwork, paperwork , arguments from the Advocate, (plenty) this goes back and forth for awhile, still no teacher. We decided at this pont that we could not go into this further without the teacher when she walks in sobbing , unable to speak. My husband tried hard to pacify her and she calmed down to finish meeting. 1 She, the vice principal , refused the IEP, we settled for now on a heavy 504 that the teacher will follow(we will see), and I am not sure what has come of this.

2. The teacher was so upset at me now I have talked with her over the year 2 times 1, last week, and she says I am the problem. *&^%$! but she will follow the 504.

I am full of anxiety, my son has a sleep over with a ton of homework, My husband left for an airplane accident I am screwed.

This was not what I expected.

I phoned the Principals Office today and talked to the admin asst. she was the only one there. She told me she went to see Mrs Lint6on (teacher) and told her about the 504 and that it will stop today. I hope she doesn't pugnitavly punish him for this.

Please, please, please ask your son. That is the only way you will know. I had to do that. my son knew that I would believe him and defend him. He wouldn't even tell teachers what happened to him when kids bullied him, but he came home and told me. he felt safe!!

Ask him when he gets home, each day, how his day was. He will tell you. Because of all the "advocating" that I did, my son adores me. But I adore him just as much, no more!!

His teacher needs to be punished!! She shouldn't be allowed to use the bathroom at school, ever!!!!!!!!!!

I agree BETHANN I do feel like the teacher should suffer damages as well I AM SO PISSED OFF! After I calles the school and they said it was taken care of, the teacher still wouldn't let him go without punishment. She is getting reemed on Friday am.This is criminal. I haven't heard from the Advocate what happened yesterday.I am looking forward to friday! spamula39891.2245138889

Please let me know how it goes.

what happened yesterday, what punishment???

He still had to stay in for recess and she had a talk with him about when it is proper to go to the restroom OMG! She just doesn't get it al all. I don't know how much the advocate saw but I am getting fuming about this teacher, the problem is she wouldn't be horrible if she just followed the 504. Never mind she is a childless moron who doesn't accept anything other than the norm and should not be teaching.

Call the school RIGHT NOW. She will do it to him again today!! Don't wait until tomorrow, even though we are going to blast her tomorrow.

CALL THE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!!!!!

I really feel for you and your son! Bethann is correct - your son is being abused! IF you punished your son everytime he went to the bathroom, child services would pay you a visit! My son was abused by a teacher last year and I didn't deal with it as I should have - I regret that. I think it is great that you have gotten an advocate!! I'll be anxious to hear how things go on Friday!

Greyhoundmom03, you and I have discussed so much together about our sons. I am so proud of both you, he has really come so far with you standing by his side.

I remember the troubles with the teachers as if it was yesterday. Isn't it amazing how they feel that they can do that to children. And it isn't just ours. If it is this year, they will find another one next year.

Stay strong!!

Spamula needs our help with their "teacher", I use that word loosely, if you know what I mean!!

Every time you give more info. about this teacher, I get more horrified and angry. This is insane and cruel! What on earth is this teacher thinking? Any chance of getting him moved out of that class?

Good luck at the meeting on Fri.!

Ye she is and the Advocate is going back today to observe more. She pulls recess every time he has to go to the bathroom and it is soooo unfair. He is singled out in the class as noone else has to stay in, the get to go. She also told me the meds are working mildly she saw him at 10am and he was pretty much kicking back at his desk doing nothing and got held back from recess again for not finishing a test. Bethann how much can I put up with this? I keep getting stuck with rotten mean teachers. Middle school is going to suck! spamula39890.2656712963

It stops right now! No more!!!

Call the office this morning, and make sure he is allowed to go the bathroom WITHOUT losing his recess.

This teacher is insane! Why don't you have the school tell this teacher if SHE goes to the bathroom that they won't pay her for that week!! She is a nut!

your son is being abused - tell them that!!!!!!!!!! he is going to end up with a bladder infection, as well as a low self esteem. And kids may pick on him!!

Why can't he go the bathroom? If she thinks he goes more than he should, then SHE can manage it!! It is time for HER to do her job!!

Call the school now and tell the principal what she is doing! Threaten her with a call to the superintendant!!

Let us know how you make out!!

I am so mad at reading that he loses recess when he has to go the bathroom???!!

Why???? I bet it makes him have to go even more with this threat over his head!

This needs to stop NOW! I know that my husband would be over when the principal arrived in the AM, before the teacher, DEMANDING this to end.

what is going on????

DO NOT wait for the meeting - this has to stop now - that teacher is HORRIBLE and CRUEL!!!

The Advocate came to the school yesterday and talked extensivly with the teacher. She reiterated the bathroom issue. The teacher said since Jake started Concerta there has been a change for the best in him but he is metabolizing so fast that he is usually done by lunchtime. The Advocate recommended a booster of short acting Ritalin of Focalin after lunch and maybe that way he will get through the rest of school and maybe even homework. We go to the psychiatrist today to discuss what next to do. He seems to be pretty good on the 27 so far. He will be very upset if he has to go to the nurse for a booster. I don't know how we are going to work this one out.

That is great that the medication is working effectively but if the problem still remains with the teacher NOT following the 504 plan you must take action. HER behavior is despicable and her actions border child abuse I agree with Bethann that this will happen again Having an advocate is very smart on your part but as a mom you are your sons best advocate. Keep the below information handy and stay on top of this teachers every move.

Contact the U.S. Department of Education Office of Civil Rights. This is where the buck stops in enforcing 504 Plans -- not with your state department of education, but with the U.S. government. If all else fails, and you're getting no effort at cooperation from the teacher, the principal, or the school district, report them to the feds. The Department of Education's site on protecting students with disabilities includes a contact page for finding the civil-rights office in your area, or making a complaint online.

I highly recommend that you increase your son's meds. My son was in 2nd grade and metabolized very fast as well. He ended up by Christmas break that year at 72 mg's. He stayed there until he went up to 90mgs in 5th grade. We also have him on guanfacine/tenex which helps him with overstimulation.

the teacher should have called you to discuss, not punish him for what he CANNOT control. That is why he has a ed plan as well as an adhd medical diagnosis. She is pathetic and needs to go back to school herself!!

Call your son's prescribing doctor and have him up you to the next dose, I think 36 mg's and see if that is better. Is your son hyper, impulsive, etc at all??
We just got back from the docs and he said we are going to up it to 36 immediatly. My son is Hyper/impulsive/everything else. so we will star here and see how it goes.Hello all. I am new here but this topic really caught my eye as Im having similar problems with my child's teacher because she is not following the 504 plan and my child also gets punished for things he cant control

I am learning so much here and thanks Luvmykids for the above information about the department of education and civil rights.

Let me know how you do at that dose. Concerta is part of our family. We have been through a lot and it saved my son's life, truly!!

Keep us posted on the teacher thing as well. I believe the meeting is today.

You are doing an awesome job as his advocate, don't you forget that!!

I'm sorry the meeting didn't go better. Was there any discussion of the bathroom issues? That she has to let him use the bathroom w/o punishing him for it? I know there are other big issues, too.

Hopefully now she'll follow the 504. If not, time to move up the ladder, and even take legal action if necessary.

What does your advocate say about how the meeting went?

Hi Spamula- it has been a long long time since I posted. Please let me comment on your situation...

It was good you had the meeting with these people. HOWEVER, the meeting was supposed to be about your son and the teacher manipulated the meeting so it was about HER!! Neither your husband nor anyone else needed to placate this teacher. It is evident that she is unfit to be your son's teacher and now you have the PROOF you need with this meeting. At this point you have several options open to you: 1) Tell the principal that the teacher's actions show flagrant disregard for your son and you are contacting the feds (as per lovemyadhdkids2), 2) Talk to a lawyer and perhaps sue the school (or threaten to), 3) Keep your child at home and insist that due to issues in the school that your son is in physical and emotional danger from this teacher and have them send a home teacher to you in your home, 3) Contact the school board and give them the gist of what has happened and the response of the school.

You are not hopeless nor are you 'screwed' unless YOU act like a victim. If you are stressed, imagine your son day after day with this teacher. I would not send my son back to this classroom. If you remember I pulled Jon out of school last year and he is doing so much better being homeschooled. He is 9 y/o now and still a handful but his selfesteem is good, he is eating well (last April he weighed barely 60 lbs - 57 lbs I think. Today he is 90 lbs and growing fast). His meds have been lowered. Yes, he is still ADDHHHHD and he needs to be watched in the afternoons with other children because he is reactive if he gets picked on. But he has more and more friends and has taken up baseball and is having FUN in his life without the worry of the punishments his teacher and school meted out to him. And with Jon at home now he has no homework to stress him and I can work school around him on a consistent schedule.

Please try to get the notes that the advocate wrote up and write up your own. Tell the principal that you will not be manipulated by this teacher and that this meeting that the teacher knew about was for the benefit of your son. And if the teacher could not prepare for this meeting and could not listen to the recommendations of the specialists than this teacher will not be teaching your son.

I am hoping this gives you some hope. Take control back from this school. Do this for yourself and your son. Wish I was there- I would know what to say (and listen to) from the principal because I have been there, done that.

Randy

I don't remember if you work. If not, please look into keeping him out for a few days at least.

Hi Spamula,

I am sorry things didn't go better - I was hoping you would feel better, not worse. Randyjim had some great some great ideas/points. Hopefully you can do what she says. I know how bad you feel and it is an awful feeling! I cried for several days, uncontrollably, after one of my meetings (and I am not a crier by nature). I felt so helpless and lost. What did your advocate say? Was she any help?

Again, I am sorry. Take a deep breath. Things will get better - I know they will. Just keep pushing forward. Don't let the school bully you!

spamula wrote:
She, the vice principal , refused the IEP, we settled for now on a heavy 504 that the teacher will follow(we will see), and I am not sure what has come of this.

I'm so sorry things didn't progress in a positive way at the meeting. The teacher made it all about her and nothing was accomplished in terms of doing what is best for your son. The vice principal doesn't have the authority to decide whether your child receives an IEP. The committee on special education makes this decision but unfortunately, many times there is a collusion going on with school staff which leaves you in the place you are in right now. As far as the 504 plan, it is not their choice in terms of whether they will honor it. Its a federal law so if they don't follow it they are breaking the law The school gets funding $$ with the promise of them implementing these services.

The teachers behavior at this meeting was despicable but yet, she is still not seeing any consequences. If your child is going to continue attending this school might I suggest that you ask them to assign him to another teacher? Given her attitude at the meeting the battle might continue. I hate to sound so negative but I've been where you are. At that time there were no computers so I wasn't aware of the many resources out there. However, I did pull my son out of the school because it became a battle between the adults who had totally lost sight of what was best for the child.

Ask your advocate what the game plan is if they continue to violate federal law. These laws were put in place so that these situations wouldn't occur. Its amazing how administrators clean up their act once they know there will be serious consequences when they violate the rights of a disabled individual. At this point continue to arm yourself with information. Read through the web site below and discuss it with your child's advocate so that you know how to proceed in the future.. Also, while effective medication can make a world of difference, this is about adults behaving badly and as result of this your ds is feeling the negative impact. I truly hope things move in a positive direction but as I said in the mean time, arm your self with information and be prepared with a game plan.

A 504 Plan is a document designed to provide accommodations and modifications that allow a child with disabilities access to public education. 504s are a part of U.S. civil-rights law, and if your child's school receives any federal dollars, it's obligated to provide a plan and abide by it. Often, though, enforcement is lax, and your child may not receive the services specified on a consistent and conscientious basis. When that happens, here's how to report the problem.

He will only be in school another 2 1/2 months then he moves on to middle school. And because what we had set in place for him this year, had it been followed through might have prepared him a little better for the transition. If We were staying longer I would have pulled him out. She claims to really care about him and helping him succeed yet she never read the 504.This has all become too much for me! My anxiety poureth over and Yesterday was a bad day. the advocate seems to think we have a solid 504 and if not followed she will take action. Things could have been better but the scools she has reccomended all have huge waiting lists. This is the part that scares me. He is better at Hands on learning than listening to the teacher lecture. We are searching for a program that will fit his needs, we are on waiting lists all over town.First off, did she at least agree to get off his back about the bathroom and let him have his recess. he needs it more than those without adhd. he needs to get his energy out!
She is extremly unprofessional, shouldn't be teaching that grade level at all.

What did she say about the punishing him over the bathroom and other things?

I understand your feeling of nothing getting accomplished, but it may be better at the middle school level, our 504 plan is. Don't worry about the future, lets get him taken care of right now. He has the rest of year still and I do not want him punished!! They must also be doing fun things for the kids who are graduating the school. They cannot punish him from attending them!
We have a strong 504 that does not allow punisment only positve reinforcement. So if it is used it should be fine. she said basically nothing as she was sobbing the entire time and just agreed to follow whatever we decide. then she gave some classroom input as things have changed since the original teacher did the 504. It ios now updated and hope it is heavy enough for them to follow, Jake should be ok. Now it is finding the right school and getting in.ADHD is a disability of productivity. It's about doing what you know, not knowing what you do. Jessica N39908.3913078704

Greyhoundmom03- Thanks for asking, I have been better. I expected a better out come from the advocate and the school. My son has been sick all week since the meeting. Hopefully he will feel better I have to go wake him now. BRB Ok the reast awakes and it appears to be in a fair mood, fever has broke YEAH BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!!Eating a great breakfast, seems calm so far.

I on the other hand did not p/u his homework yesterday because he was not in school to have learned it. I left a note for the teacher. I am not making a sick child with 101 fever and headache, do schoolwork, she is nuts, she sent homework home the night before. Of course he didn't do it.

I totally agree with the comment about the homework when they are sick. Teachers never did that when I was growing up. What is up?"?

How do they expect a child who is sick and not at school to learn the work, do it???? They are truly nuts! The competition that teachers provoke is ridiculous!

I agree totally. How can a sick child do schoolwork all day, There was alot. Don't all of us have a sick day now and then? we do not bring home the office when we have the flu? Teachers now days are too full of themselves.

Hey there again Spamula,

I saw your response to the mother with the 17 year old suspended over a granola bar. We have to help her also. Any advice you can offer is worth millions. Thank you for your help!! Keep posting!!

Just thinking about you and wondering how you are doing.

Kim

[QUOTE=spamula]I agree totally. How can a sick child do schoolwork all day, There was alot. Don't all of us have a sick day now and then? we do not bring home the office when we have the flu? Teachers now days are too full of themselves.[/QUOTE]
Yes, that's crazy! When my daughter was in 5th grade, I was stunned when she was absent the first time and the teacher expected her to make up EVERY SINGLE item of work that was done on the days she was out sick! I think a lot of the problem is that many teachers these days are so stressed out by the required standardized testing that they lose common sense. I know that was the case for my daughter's teacher.
inspired , you are so right about that I think the good old fashioned teacher is gone and now we have these clones that have to follow the system and what it says. They are not trained in ADHD or coexsisting disorders and learning problems.