Hi. My 9 y/o son Jon is adhd and we went through some really rough times last year. Thank the Lord that his meds seem to be holding their own and he is not out of control nearly as much as a year ago. Tonight, Jon just about floored me. He couldn't do as much school work as he should have (we homeschool) and told me that it was because he had adhd. Then he told me he was going to have it the rest of his life and there was nothing he could do and he hated it!!
After the first shock, I told him that as he got older he would learn more self control and it was possible that he would not have to be on meds for the rest of his life. I reminded him of Michael Phelps who went off his meds when he was 11 y/o. Just telling him we will work on self control is not positive unless I have a plan for him. Does anyone know anything about this? Have any of your children said things that make them seem resigned to having adhd and being medicated forever?
My son owns his Adhd and will willing to tell anyone about it. He knows he has to stay medicated for now I told him we will see later. His friend was over the other day and my DS said "Don't you know I have ADHD and what it meant and I have to take medicine for it. " No big deal. I was so impressed by that ownership of his condition, he is growing up he is 10 now. I remember the says when Jake refused medication and wanted to do it himself and never wanted to talk about it. maybe that will change for Jon. Jake always uses the Adhd as an excuse for not finishing homework,lol that's a whole other story
There are some good books out there for kids about their ADHD. I searched barnes and noble on the internet and found a few. 1 is actually written by a boy with ADHD.
spamula39898.2378472222When it's come up, I've told my daughter that because she has ADHD she needs to work harder than others. It's not an excuse, it's a challenge. But everybody has different strengths and weaknesses and challenges in their lives. There's no one for whom everything comes easily (even though it seems that way sometimes...)If we put a negative spin to ADHD and the medications for it, it creates a totally negative perception. While its good to be honest about the struggles it creates if not properly treated, the children should also know what a gift it can be to have ADHD if one learns how to use ADHD to their advantage. Its good to point out how medication allows the child to bring out their personal best. Its good to point out that when the child succeeds at something, its not the medication that deserves the credit but rather the child. Its good to point out that medication just opens windows of opportunity and that the child must do the work to see the rewards. Children get the sense that its the medication that makes them good boys or girls. Very bad perception because due to such a perception these children view themselves in a negative light. Michael Phelps is an example of how to use the gift of ADHD to ones advantage but its also a lesson about how going off medication caused him to go on to self medicate. Boasting to the child about how Michael Phelps went off medication at age 11 suggests that medication is a bad thing.
Of course none of us want our children on med's for life but in case they must be we want our children to be able to look at the bigger picture and feel confident knowing that staying on medication will have positive outcomes, not negative. We have to be careful what we say in front of the children because they are sponges and learn what they live and hear. I hope that sharing my wisdom helps in some way.
Luvmykids0239907.2810069444Hello,therapy
self esteem issues about labels.
meds are just a coping tool .
many things we learn as youngsters mold into our adult personalities.
there are pros and cons
focussing only on cons is when therapy needs applied.
always finish what you start and put everything away too
i firmly believe this instills confidence
work first play later usurps stress.
understanding self talk from a therapists point of view very deep subject
julia roberts siad in pretty woman " we tend to believe the bad things said about us" or something like that
its true if you focus on your cons your adhd label will fail you
normal thinkers have exacly the same life challenges ADDers do. dont self talk yourself into thinking that adhd is the reason why everything is hard.
s funny that if given the choice to be a NTer i would still choose adhd.
there are time i get so focussed on things tha i become "the expert"
on certian subjects . once i realized i could not solve my problems in life by yelling at them , ignoring them , or being violent to them .
i started to use what was left of my cognitive powers .
thats when socializing became easier. freind were supportive and useful.
i wish i picked up the reading habit.
hands down that is the second most useful way to understand what people are speaking about.
its tough going through life not understading what people are talking about.
hmmmm im not being clear
spoken english uses 7000 words of the 225,000 english lexicon.
so by becoming a reader of hardback books your understaing of social nuances is increased dramitically.
like playing scrabble helps you to spell correctly
reading flexes the cognitive muscels
it also helps with english grammer skills.
ADDers are predisposed to have addictive personalities by consensus of physicians.
diagnosis exposes this to intervention.
meds during education help put blinders on adhd's cons during school.
if you pile up everything learned in school up to graduation .
its like a resource of knowledge to do adult things .
that it is a whole society of NTers
ADDers are tiny minority less than 5%
to then get off prescribed meds and turn to self meds is i like pressing a self destruct button. not to your life but to your personality.
----------ive lost focus im sorry i mostly just post rough drafts here postlating in ignorance.
if you journal your whole life then you see see yourself as other people do --- clearer than you see yourself in the now.
seeing your cons over time
long term journaling points to what needs help and support to overcome those cons and focus more on goals.
an addiction to completing goals is totally do-able
thank god school doesnt last forever adults get paid to do as much work.
focus on your own dreams
your goal dream is more powerful than any self med
even more powerful than negative self talk.
imagine going through lif not understanding why everyone understands whats being said except you..
thats how i grew up i didnt know how to listen cognitivly
listen skills are the biggest factor of all the others combined.
practicing listen skills avoids thousands of poorly unstood instructions.
keeping personal notes or voice recordings is equivalant to being as attenive asan Nter but its always been a challenge for me. it always becomes a cancaphany. but is as intresting as a journal.
aaaaaah im just blather on on
good night
when in doubt slow down
take a five minute focus break you would be suprised how ways you think your way out of uncertainty its ok to tell people im still thiking
Luvmykids0239911.9187384259He may very well only need to be medicated while sitting in a classroom. Jessica N39912.9184143519Ommas- It is a pleasure as always to read your posts, I have learned from them. I am glad to see you back here posting again.Branden was frustrated earlier this year that he has to be on meds. I have never let him use ADHD as an excuse. I told him that this is a part of him, and sometimes it makes it very hard to concentrate. I also told him that the meds help him by making it easier to concentrate. However, there is always a way, and ADHD is not an excuse-he just has to work a little harder than some other kids to keep it together. Since it will always be a part of him, he had better make his peace with it now and figure out how he is going to handle the challenges in his life. If he has a working strategy, he can make it through. As things come up, we help him develop new strategies.Could be that his meds need to be tweaked.