Frustrated | ADHD Information
Hi everyone. I am so confused. Is medication really the best answer for me? I mean I know I’m ADHD but what’s the best way to get a handle on it? I know my expectations of medication have probably been too high. I think I was expecting a miracle or something. Some magic pill to take away all the impulsivity and brain hyperactivity.I want this medication to shut my brain up. I’m so tired of having dreams. I want to quit picking at my nails and fingers. I want to quit saying impulsive things and making inappropriate comments. I want to slow down enough to where I can catch my mistakes and fix them without being embarrassed by having someone else point them out to me. While awareness has certainly helped, because I can sometimes catch myself, it’s not as good as I want it to be. Maybe I’m expecting perfection but I know I can’t be perfect at it. It’s just that the impulsiveness has happened so much for so long that every time it happens, I am terribly hard on myself - thinking that I have to get a grip on it. Changing that thought pattern won’t be easy.
I’m angry because I have this “thing”, this condition, whatever you want to call it - just don’t call it a disability because I’m not disabled or handicapped. I have a challenge before me. It’s like I know I have this problem (ADHD) and I know I need help and I know I probably need medication but I’m frustrated because there’s so much I don’t know. I don’t know which medication or how it’s supposed to benefit me or how long I try before I give up. I don’t know where I can get better support; more consistent support when I need it. There's a group here in my city that meets once a month and I have yet to get to it because it's only once a month and it's not like it's at a convenient location or time for me. I’m not having a good day today. It is interesting that I notice little positive effects from these powerful drugs. It may take time to find the right chemical and dosage but you all know that patience may be a virtue but I don't have it! Maybe it’s just my expectations that are too high. I just want it all to go away. I just want to be normal, like everybody else.
Dear KJL,
Here's my opinion on your question: "Hi everyone. I am so confused. Is medication really the best answer for me?"
NO!
No medication will address your issue (unless you are clinically depressed).
What I get from your post is:
* You aren't yet comfortable with yourself, now that you know you "have ADHD." I'm guessing that, since your diagnosis, you've been on a crusade of self-monitoring and self-educating, trying to "reconstitute" your self image with this new ADHD "layer" that's been added to your life. Added by your doctor, mind you, not by you. While you have accepted your doctor's diagnosis and admit you have adhd, you have'nt yet accepted yourself with ADHD. Think about it... This ain't easy stuff! Especially we adults with adhd who are diagnosed when we're adults. I believe it's Sari Solden who covers this topic so well in her book "Journeys Through ADDulthood".
I think it's a real shame that the professionals who are diagnosing adults seem so oblivious to the challenge some of us have at adjusting to and accepting our new "having ADHD" self image. After all, we've spent our lifetime (so far!) forming, molding, "fine tuning" ourselves to be who we are....then, all of a sudden, we have this "adhd" enter our lives. Even though it's been with us all along, most of us don't greet it like an old friend! We're challenged with allowing ADHD to be part of us, part of our "self image." And the more our tendancy to strive for perfection, the tougher it's gonna be to adjust our self image, and....
* You expose your proclivity for perfection when you write: "Maybe I’m expecting perfection but I know I can’t be perfect at it." So where does that leave you?! I'm guessing you haven't figured that out yet--what standard to use--since you've always used the highest standards...before the dianosis... I have a perfectionist streak hidden away in me, only I never realized it because it's part of my nature--part of my self. We need to become comfortable settling for "good enough" and not always striving for perfection: for being as good as we can possibly be...for knowing all we possibly can about our adhd-selves...for our adhd meds working only so far that they help us manage our adhd traits. Ned Hallowell and John Ratey point out this perfectionst trait, common with ADHD, in their several books on the topic. If you haven't signed out from your library their book "Delivered from Distraction", I highly recommend that you do.
You say you want to attend the support group but it's only once a month and the time and location is inconvenient...hmmm, maybe it's time to settle for "good enough" and go to it!! Nothing beats talking to others, share in the struggles, and the triumphs!
John D39908.5812962963
kjl2691
I wish I had a final answer and rush off like a game show winner.
I'm also impulsive and the other things. I relae to what youre talking about.
Meds werent my answer either, But I did come to see in myself the disorder.
All be it over time and not for one days events or just one behavior.
A professional called me an "it" once. At first i was offended . Then I got over my feelings and wanted why she called me that.
Seems that other people see me clearer than I see myself .
Put a bunch of us adult adhd folks in a room togethe r navel gazing and relating . It's healhy but dare i say it would be good for youre your own therapist be a host to help understand things hat mght have ben mis understood or poorly said.
I've come to think of myself as one whose needy and bites those that support me.
Thing is ADHD seems to affect so many different types of people . no two are alike have the same problems or event the feelings.
some of us are
A person who has an exceptionally high intelligence quotient, typically above 140.others are below 80
so i can understand if you want to shun adhd as a handicap if youre comparing youre ability to function to someother adhd person that functions less than you and you dont want to be classified with them.
take some time to journal things that happen the good and bad things
You may get a clearer understanding of how you handle things over time. Just like a support group works over time .
No single day happens the sameway we cope and learn from mistakes.
I get he most out my support is that i learn from other peoples mistakes and like it or not i dont see those mistakes in myself until some points them out - like in a support group.
like
dont self med
dont live without goals
keep a maid
keep a journal
keep notes of due dates
practice memorizaion techniques
understand what personal discilpline is and how to restart things that worked.
what hyper-focus is and how to use it as learning opprotunity
what to do when im talking too much
overspending
fogetting my bosses name
aaarrhhhgggg
sorry i got carried away off point again.
I lose sight of what im trying to say as somethings just vanish in mind .
like i can be totally astonished one moment and frustrated the next moment that i cant articulate what was in my minds eye into speech.
IM AN ADDer
not a normal thinker NTer
frustrating for me that i seee and understand so many things
even the ones that could save our eco cultures but i come off sounding like a baffune . so i just pray.
anyway magic pills ?
I hope theyre as helpful as magic beans defeating giants an all that.
my journeys dont really mesh well i cant reflect on them like NTers do. Ive reinvented my llife so many times without a journal i would of lost many friends i tend to wind isolated and nearly alone.
support is one of those things you should experience though its not magic either . just a chance find some people who are reaching out its not a bad thing.
im afraid im just babbling on on im typing while tired again.
good night
oh yea
I learned one thing from a dale carnegie course once years and years ago.
"earn the knowledge to speak "
when i observ that it serves me well
4.
Genius
71 up, 15 down
The right idea at the right time.
Some qoutes I'd like to share (by that, I mean a pasted them from another site)
To do easily what is difficult for others is the mark of talent. To do what is impossible for talent is the mark of genius.
* Henri-Frédéric Amiel
Geniuses are the luckiest of mortals because what they must do is the same as what they most want to do.
* W. H. Auden
Since when was genius found respectable?
* Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.
* Robertson Davies
Genius always finds itself a century too early.
* Ralph Waldo Emerson
In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.
* Ralph Waldo Emerson
Genius goes around the world in its youth incessantly apologizing for having large feet. What wonder that later in life it should be inclined to raise those feet too swiftly to fools and bores.
* F. Scott Fitzgerald
The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms. Very often it does not know what to do with genius.
* Oliver Wendell Holmes
Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.
* Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored.
* Abraham Lincoln
Genius does what it must, and Talent does what it can.
* Owen Meredith
Better beware of notions like genius and inspiration; they are a sort of magic wand and should be used sparingly by anybody who wants to see things clearly.
* José Ortega y Gasset
Every positive value has its price in negative terms...The genius of Einstein leads to Hiroshima.
* Pablo Picasso
One science only will one genius fit:
So vast is art, so narrow human wit.
* Alexander Pope
We should like to have some towering geniuses, to reveal us to ourselves in colour and fire, but of course they would have to fit into the pattern of our society and be able to take orders from sound administrative types.
* J.B. Priestley
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
* Jonathan Swift
I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.
* Oscar Wilde
Masterpieces are not single and solitary births; they are the outcome of many years of thinking in common, of thinking by the body of the people, so that the experience of the mass is behind the single voice.
* Virginia Woolf
In your dream world, you connect with your soul, travel to other dimensions, resolve issues, set directions, and so much more...
Why Interpret Your Dreams?
Our dreams are work and play combined.... when we enter the dream world, we create an opening for our spirit - and others - to connect with us. Every element of a dream has meaning, so dreams are worth divining, deserving understanding!
Dreams are the stuff that life is made of....
Dreams are a part of our heritage, the way our souls have spoken to us from the beginning of time. And from the beginning, every culture, every community has harbored a wide range of beliefs and superstitions around dreams.
Dreams are one of the great mysteries of life....
As a species, we have yet to unlock the key to our dream worlds. Despite the fact that so many of us see the value in dreaming and wish to be conscious of our activities in the dream dimensions, most of us still feel that we enter some sort of fantasy land when we sleep. While some believe our dream life is as real as waking life and actively seek ways of controlling what occurs while they sleep, few actually make the connection between what happens in waking life and what occurs in sleep.
In the 90’s both psychologists and parapsychologists gave accepted that our dreams contain the content of our daily lives.... dreams are one of the first ways that psychic ability will manifest.
Learning to remember and to “mine” our dreams is a very useful process. Throughout history, native communities have deliberately traveled to their dream worlds as a group, to resolve issues, or set directions based on what the group has dreamt the future holds....many important scientific discoveries can be rooted in events that occurred in the dream world.
Hi, I e-mailed not long ago about Dreaming and that a while ago I could fly in my dreams I only could fly when I was very young when I was about 8 years old ever since then I haven't been able to do it. I am curious, that if we can control our dreams, how can we interpret it? and know the meaning of a dream when we can turn it into anything we want?
Your question is, "If I can control a dream, then how do I interpret it? The answer is that once you exert conscious control within a dream, you are no longer simply dreaming. Carlos Castaneda calls it Dreaming with a capital D. Regular dreaming is a subconscious process, and Dreaming is a conscious process. What you are doing is changing the way you respond in life- taking control. You are also making a statement to your unconscious: "I am in control now. If you are upset about something, I can change things." How's that for empowering?!
Now, about interpretation: the material of the dream is still a response to things happening in your life- and the elements of the dream may be symbols for feelings, people, situations in your life which are uncomfortable for you to deal with consciously.
There are many books out there about how to interpret dream symbolism, and I personally prefer doing this individually rather than assuming that the common symbol interpretations you find in books are correct. Usually, if you sit with the elements of a dream and free associate to them (feel into yourself about what or who it reminds you of- what feeling do you have about it, and what in your life does that feeling remind you of?), you will probably interpret your dream pretty accurately in no time. Write it down so that you can look at it and see how the pieces of the dream make sense as you go along with your interpretation. Share it with a close friend and see what it makes them think of, about you.
So, you can also understand consciously what a certain dream is about, and then when you take action within the dream, you are consciously taking action to change your inner response to that aspect of your life. But even if you are acting within an entirely new dream, you will instinctively act within that dream in a way that develops you. It's a way of exploring different ways of responding to life situations, and to yourself.
It's a powerful form of play therapy, really. Play therapy works! It helps us to loosen up out of old patterns of response, old ways of looking at ourselves and our lives, and free will takes over, enabling us to use our inner genius and evolve more quickly.
About how long it takes to take control within your dreams: like yoga, meditation, and life in general, there is no "correct" amount of time for mastery. Know that if you practice regularly, you will get it. Reassure yourself if you find yourself judging how long it takes, and just keep doing it. It's amazing! Hope this helps! Barb Huning
Dear Global Psychics, have you ever layed down, fallen into a "spell" I'd call it, where you are half awake but yet half asleep, you know it, and you dont like it, it feels evil, but the more you try to wake up the harder it gets, and when you finally do your puffed out. My theory is that it's just another level of consiousness, where bad spirits, or demons can toy with you. Have you heard of this before, if so what is it?
This is not something that an easy answer will completely solve, but I'll give it a try.
What you are experienceing is called a 'hypnagogic' state, where your body is relaxed, but your conscious awareness is still very active and focussed in the body perceptions, as your consciousness prepares to venture forth on its nightly adventures.
Tere are "no" demons and evil spirits in those terms, as external forces that may toy with people, but peole have many degrees of beliefs and shames and guilts, also refererred to as 'inner demons', those states of being that people sometimes struggle with in terms of self aware conscience.
You can easily auto-suggest to yourself that you can use the state to project out of your body awareness and explore inner universes and have lots of fun expanding your awareness and perceptions of the greater Reality in its many forms. Cheers, Serge
Do you know if it's abnormal to be able to read stuff in dreams? I mean, like reading letters or words inside a dream, like out of a book that's in the dream. D.S.
I wouldn't say anything is normal or abnormal in dreams because they are so very personal. In general interpretation, images of a book generally speak to being well-read and possibly wise which is an obvious interpretation. It is also suggestive that one should turn more often to the "real world". The words in a book are often one owns inner wisdom - the "script" if you will for our lives. It is like there is something you may be trying to tell yourself or remind yourself or a sensation that you are detached from an important reality (that would depend on the contents of the words written). Also associated with independence - a person who is creating his or her own life. It speaks to the need to be productive on some level and produce something of value. Communicate and express yourself - everyone has something worthwhile to say. Is this saying you have to speak up more often or more clearly? Do you want to address an issue or give somebody a piece of your mind, openly and honestly? These are some general interpretations for what you have reported. Hope this helps. Mary-Anne
ommas39908.895I agree. I have been ADD since I was a child, but I only took meds for a few years AS a child. I am completely capable of functioning on my own as an adult, and as a trial and error I went back on meds to see if they helped me with some of those lovely things you do as an ADD adult.
I reorganize constantly. To make it easier for me to find things. And then I can't find them. I can clean my apartment all day and not actually get anything clean because I find some old photos and look at them instead. I leave myself notes to bring important papers to work or to an appointment. I might even tape the papers to the door, and then I walk right by them. I decide I want to clean my closet out and end up with a huge mess on the floor, and nothing done because I decided to do the dishes or clean the bathroom. Once right after my boyfriend moved in with me, he asked me to clean the spare room where all the boxes and things we had no place for were (it was mostly my stuff) and instead I tore my closet apart in the process and had a bigger mess in the room then I started with. I did not finish this until a week later.
Ritalin did not make ANY of this better. It took away all my perkiness, all that defined me as a person. Took a funny, happy go lucky, somewhat hyper personality and turned it into that similar to a zombie. I bite and pick at my fingers. I constantly fidget, tear up papers for no reason, tap my feet, rock back and forth, have trouble sleeping because of that 'brain activity'... but meds did not fix any of this. This is just me.
I think that these things become a bigger burden when you have a condition that goes with them. Try just reading through some of these posts and finding out how other people have learned to deal with it. It's a little easier for me because I know I've had it right straight through and I've done fine. Sure, those things are annoying to you, but they are part of you and that makes them fine. Do some soul searching. And maybe even a little reading. I hardly find ADD handicapping. I do just fine and I think you will too!