in laws don’t believe in ADHD | ADHD Information

Thanks for asking! My daughters were great! One of my daughters is ADHD/dyspraxia and on meds the other appears normal so far. She just turned four.My son was on meds. and was okay.(a little rude and focused but nothing like without meds.) The day went well overall.

Something I have noticed is that the grandparents seem to approve of my son's behavior on meds, but not off of meds. They know he is on medication, yet still don't believe in ADHD and have lots to say about our parenting and his being a wild child when he is not on meds. There is a definite approval of J's behavior when on meds and total disapproval off meds. My diagnosed daughter presents very differently, she is more dreamy and has emotional outbursts but not a behavior problem otherwise.

I don't know if the grandparents make the connection of when he is on meds or not or don't care and just don't like the ADHD behavior.
My mother is impossible. First, she skewers me about putting my son "on
speed." Then she just doesn't get that even on meds he's still fairly
impulsive, plus he has poor executive skills so he can't remember the rules,
and I swear she sets him up by putting temptations in front of him and
assuming he'll know not to fall into the trap.

I've been able to figure out when my mother is ramping up to start the
criticism. I refuse to listen to it. I just leave - get off the phone or leave the
room or pack up and go. She knows what's happening and I won't let her
disrespect me or my son.

Family and ADHD is tough. I could write so much about it - I lost a relationship with my brother over it - I no longer talk to him because of what he did to my son and then denied it. Then the in laws at first tried to make it my families genes, even though they have a family history of it.

Families and ADHD stink!!

You know how to deal and not deal with your mother best.

We are here to listen, as others have had to in the past for me!! My parents have gotten so much better since he is older I will mention, but I do have the memories.

Hang in corrina with us here on the boards!!

Thanks for the replies. They are all really helpful. It is reassuring to know I am not the only one going through family denial of ADHD.

Tomorrow we are going to go to the zoo with all 6 grandchildren and the grandparents. My two ADHD children will be on meds so hopefully it will be fine.

Have a good Easter!

Wondering how the zoo went with the grandparents? Since your boys were medicated did you have any issues with the grandparents? Just curiousI have a 6 1/2 year old son and 5 year old daughter. They are both diagnosed with ADHD and dyspraxia. My inlaws don't believe most ADHD or autistic spectrum cases are real. They attribute most of the behavior of these children to bad parenting.

My son was diagnosed 2 years ago. I gave my mother-in-law Russell Barkley's book to read. She still hasn't bothered to read it and become more educated.

It bothers me that my in-laws don't understand my children. They think we are bad parents because our children are not well behaved like their other grandchildren. They don't understand the tantrums, can't sit still at the table, having to be punished for the same thing over and over.

Any advice? Thanks!
Your situation is not uncommon. I am shocked at the people I meet who don't believe that adhd/similar dx are 'real'. It must be really hard when these people are family members. My parents are in their 70's and have 19 grandchildren, mine are the only ones with adhd. I really had to educate them, and the process continues. My father in law has no idea, he just wouldn't 'get it'. It is painful b/c it causes me to limit their time with my children. There are no easy answers here, just come here and vent. ANd make sure that your children don't pick up on any of the tension. Good luck.

I'm posting here just to save a place in this thread.

I got some old posts i'd like ta stich together - then i'll post.

basically do they believe in any disorders or just this one.

denile is still common

self centered folks cant really understand the mentality of other people .

they believe in slow or stupid im sure but not fast and distracted.

Its a tough world .

sometimes i feel like im in a room where everone else is smarter -

more organized , less stressed ,i cant beat them and i cant join them.

It took me a long time to just focus on doing my personal best regardless of what thier opinions of me are.

yea the way i raised was all wrong -

to this very day my own mom says im not adhd.

my teachers werent into what i needed.

one teacher did spot me and convinced my parents to get me into counseling but i was junior in hs

stuggling with english still do - cant seem to "get it" right.

not like everyone else though - not physically hyper . mostly daydreaming in a stuper engrossed in geometrics or gravity thoughts then to realize im gazing at things and trying to remember whats being said. instead of learning from others like NTers do.

tuned out most of the time.

i promise to rewrite this post with something that makes sense.

goodnight!

I so know how you feel as my parents deny this disorder as well most of the time it is my fault for my being disabled, not in wheelchair, iI just can't do as much but hubby does alot with him and boy scouts. They think it is our fault for bad parenting and not spanking him everyday. I have tried everything! she even actually read a book, god knows where she found it and still deny's his condition and my DS has bad anxiety as well. Sorry you have to put up with this type of harrassment, I know I do not like it.Common reaction. I gave up trying to educate. If you don't live with them, you don't get it. Give them meds anytime the inlaws are around, and have the inlaws around them less. You'll get comments about how much they've grown up and how well they are doing. Just nod and smile, yes, they are so much better now.

I think it sounds like denial. They do not want to believe that anything is wrong with their grandchild/children.

I gave my mother the book on sensory integration and an adhd book. she never opened either.

But what is amazing is that when something about adhd is on the news, she runs to tell me. The media is years behind our knowledge. They still use the term ADD.

Go figure.