Stealing..ready to lose it!! | ADHD Information

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SuzyQ,

That is correct, private schools do NOT follow, nor do I believe even offer, 504 plans or IEP's. That is why we all end up in public needing their help, if they offer it! Sounds like yours doesn't. That is really a shame. Just think there are others at the school needing help but not getting it just to learn!!

Does he want to go to the other school next year? Was this all planned before this girl/$$ "thing"? Are any of his friends going as well? I just want him to land on his feet. I can also understand why he is getting "stuck". He is so under the scope right now, and he probably doesn't want to mess up, that he needs direction.

Remember our adhd boys are behind maturity wise versus their age. AND girls tend to be further ahead than boys without adhd. So you adhd to mix and he is even more behind.

Be there for him, he needs you!!

I would totally be furious over the money, don't think that would slide, but boy has he been through a lot, AND his school STINKS!!!

 

SuzyQ, I could be wrong, but I think that if the teacher in the "Opportunity" classroom is organized and has a passion for helping kids who are struggling, it could be a really good thing for your son. He may also find that the "losers" in there are nicer and better friends than others.
Last school year I was told the same thing as you about reminders for turning in homework and teachers signing the agenda only if the student brought it up to them--very frustrating. Fortunately, my daughter is doing really well this year so it hasn't been an issue. (Thank goodness!!)
If you're considering moving your son to a private school, I would just make sure to check it out really well. Go visit the school and see what the atmosphere is like. Ask how they handle ADHD issues like forgetting to turn in work, etc. It's possible that they may offer accommodations even if they don't have the legal programs like the 504 plan. If you know people who have kids at the school, find out all you can.
If you decide to stay at the public school, maybe, hopefully, the "Opportunity" teacher might turn out to be someone who can offer guidance to your son and you. Or, if you're not getting the help your son needs from the school, maybe you might want to look into hiring an educational advocate (?) to help get your son whatever services he needs and make sure the 504 or IEP is followed.
Best of luck and let us know how things go.
I agre with Iinspired, check out the private or public schools carefully. I know alot of people who went public just for the IEP and services. It depends on your child. My chold would not want to go to the rescource room as we call it here for the same reason as your son. they have denied us services on 2 seperate times over 3 years but we do have a 504. at least it is something.I couldn't attend the meeting, but my husband did and it sounds like this will work out good.  He's going to go to regular class 1st and 7th period, and from 2nd-5th he will attend a class called opportunity.  The teacher in there is very organized and teaches because he has a passion to help students that are stuggling.  He will remain in there for 20 days until he's evaluated.  He has to be at 70% of grades to return to regular class.  Basically, he'll have the opportunity to return to classes, but it HAS TO BE EARNED!  He's pretty torn up about it, because he says "it's for losers".  He doesn't want his friends to see him there, but he'll have to learn from this.  In the end, I think he'll be quite happy he did it.  So, he's away from the boy that he had a fight with, and from the girl.  We'll see how this goes...I'll keep you posted.  Apparently, the girls shared the wealth.  They were passing the $$ around.  We got back!!   Oh well...gotta let it go now...hopefully it won't happen again.You know I would listen to him when he says that it is for losers. I feel like he is the ONLY one being punished. He already had suspension.

What is happening to the other two, the REAL losers?! I don't think they have been punished at all. They should be ashamed and embarassed.
Also the boy hit your son, he needs to be punished severely as well!!

I also don't want your son labeled! Keep an eye on that. I hope it all works out, but I am worried about this program. I doubt he really belongs there, just my opinion. I think the other boy does!

Yeah, I hear you.  It's very frustrating.  The problem, they cannot comment on whether anything happened to the other boy.  IE, if he got suspended, etc.  I don't know how else to work with this school.  The last time we had a 504 meeting, two of his teachers (of course the two he cares for the least), flat out told us that they DON'T HAVE TIME TO ASK FOR HOMEWORK!!!  They are too busy!  Amazing, ha?  We get NOTHING from them.  They also told us that if he needs his planner signed, it HAS TO BE GIVEN TO THEM.  What do you do then?  Thank Gosh he's only got a few months left there.  I'm going to put him into a christian high school, but am a little worried because if I understand right, since they are private they don't have 504's?  He's a bit mad at me because he feels I'm not "sticking up" for him.  I told him that this is the second time he's stolen money, given to girls at school, fighting, not doing his part, so I can't help him this time around.  I'm encouraging him to do well for the 20 days, and told him he can talk about it with the therapist on Thurs night.  I'm noticing that he's getting "stuck" alot, kind of obsessive, not the typical OCD, just having trouble sometimes switching gears.  I need to bring that to the Dr's attention..until next time..thanks to all for your support!!

Ok, great!  Thanks so much.  I will look them up and call on Monday.  He will start seeing a therapist next week too, so hopefully we'll get this under control soon!  Happy to help I hope things work out. let me know how things are going on the way. I really want to help in anyway I can.If you are looking for a good psychiatrist, child, Our doctors Name is Atman Reyes. in  Woodland Hills. He does only meds. his phone number is 704-1579 (818) There is also Doug Sears in Encino (no number) I also have a great group of therapists nearby in Sherman Oaks of our favorite has moved more your way His name is Dr. Mitesh Parekh. Adolescent pediatric associates in sherman Oaks No insurance there. Dr. Reyes has many years experiance and you have to ask the questions especially why? he will answer anything I ask him, he doesn 't volenteer info. He also is a very nice young man and happy to help.He has a brother Arjun Reyes that is good as well they are always booked.good luck to you!The principal listened to my son's side of the story.  The VP wasn't there that day, so it was nice..I can't stand him!!  In any case, the other student shouldn't have beaten on my son.  We are meeting with the school tom AM to discuss.  The meeting SST, is a student study team.  The school psychologist sent us a package that has some papers to fill our about my son's personality, etc.  Asks mental health type of questions.  The only thing he's been on is a 504, but I think they are evaluating him now for IEP?  His phychiatrist gave me a form to give to them to have him tested.  I think it said "Psychoeducational" testing?  I'm sorry, all of this is so confusing.....please, I need all the help I can get, so if you have concerns let me know.  They recovered of 0.00!!  They did make the girls parents aware of what was going on.

I still say the girl's parents need to make restitution on her behalf since she is a minor, I believe it is the law!!

You do NOT want you son on a IEP for mental health, you want him on an IEP for "Other impairments"

Do NOT let the school select mental health - that is a big fat NO!!!!

Keep posting us the updates, I feel like I am going through this with you!!

I am very emotional about this!!

Spamula:  I'm having a hard time finding a Dr out this way.  I really don't want to take him back to the Amen clinic.  I wasn't over impressed.  I'm going to call your doctor, atman reyes or arjun.  I looked them up.  I couldn't find anything on Mitesh Parekh.  Do you know where he's at?  Thanks!!!

Hey SuzyQ,

I am in Boston, so 3 hours ahead. I just got into work and will do my very best to pull my son's old IEP out and read page 8 and others to see how they had him qualifying. He is on a 504 plan so I don't remember but I also do not want to say something incorrect.

thanks!

Any word on whether the other kids are suspended, including the other kids friend? I so want to come to california and get the $$ back, I know my husband would be all over that. THat would really set my husband off!! That girl stole that money, if you think about it!! Anything from the police in regards to the money??

[QUOTE=BETHANN]

That girl stole that money, if you think about it!! Anything from the police in regards to the money??

[/QUOTE] Maybe I missed something, but if the boy came to school and handed the girl money, I don't see how it can be said that she stole it. Certainly she should not have taken it and certainly it should be returned, but that is not the same as stealing.

SuzyQ, I'm glad you are making progress with finding out what it really going on with your son and getting him the help he needs at school, etc. It's awful that he was beaten up like that at school! I would think that a teacher or someone at the school would have noticed right away and found out what happened.

inspiredbymusic,

it is my opinion, that is all!

SuzyQ,

So when you met with the Principal, not the V Principal who sided with the other kid, you got through to him/her? It sounds it OR did he listen to you and your husband and get it all figured out? I just want the Vprincipal spoken to and corrected for what he did by siding with the other kid. That was horrible.

What about your son's suspension? Does the other kids (the girl as well) have any suspensions? Have you gotten any  $ from the girl?????

What is an SST?

In order to have an IEP, the school does a complete evaluation on your son, no paperwork packet, just you putting in writing that you want an evaluation done on your son. What is in the packet? I don't want you signing anything until we know just what it is!!  I want only the best for your son and YOU guys!!

Thanks!!

Bethann:  I will make sure to tell them that.  The paperwork I have is an "assessment plan."  I see it says "IEP meeting date" in the corner.  The other is 8 pages titled "Development, health, behavioral, and school history".  

Thanks so much for listening and for your support...I actually feel relieved to hear from you and spamula. 

 

SuzyQ,

First off, here is a hug - I wish I could do it in person - but here it is

 I know you need more than just an icon.

Your son is not on the right DOSAGE and he is in puberty and going through the teen stuff. Please find a doctor who understands the meds and the dosing process. We have a psychopharmacologist, he specialiazes in medications AND is a psychiatrist who counsels and prescribes. I just don't want anything else happening to him that could get him seriously hurt or in serious trouble.

If your son was the victim - then FIGHT for him. Call the principal AND the superintendant. They need to be aware of the Vprincipal picking favorites. Where I come from if you fight BOTH kids go down because BOTH are fighting.

I am glad that you are moving your son BUT he does need social interaction. Does he have friends?? I know this stuff goes on when it involves a girl to A LOT of kids, it is not just yours, NOR is it just ADHD'ers!!

AND the girl needs to give the money back. CALL the police! TELL the school what you are doing if they do not help you get the money back from the TEASE!! I can't believe her parents didn't do that already!!  I would call them directly if the school doesn't help and tell them you are contacting the police about the money, and fight If the school doesn't help!!

Boy she must have loved having them fight over her!!   I can only imagine what she is like!!

Is he on suspension right now? When did you find out?? I am shocked by the updated post - too much going on about all this. At least you know what is really happening.

Keep us posted - and call your son's pediatrician for a referral of a psychopharm. That is how we found ours!!

SuzyQ, I just went back and read some of your other posts earlier.

54 mgs is doing NOTHING for your son. You might as well not give him meds. I just wanted to let you know that it is that important to get his meds in place. If you have to take him out of school for a bit to do so with doctors' appointments then do it. It is important for his safety and well being for school and social life that his meds help him be successful.

Is he on a IEP or 504 plan? I am not remember any school class issues with grades/homework, just the money and THAT girl!!

Thank you! I so want to help!!

Thank you for the hug...I really need it!!!  I don't think he's on the right dosage either, but his physchiatrist doesn't want to increase the concerta.  I don't know exactly why.  I've researched psychopharmacologist, and have found some here in SO CALIF.  Can you quickly tell me what the difference in Dr's is? 

It appears as though my son was more of the victim.  The kid that hit him apparently got on top of him a hit him 4 times in the face.  His eye is red, his lips were both broken open, and he has a gash above his eyebrow.  My husband is VERY upset about the favoritism issue and is calling the board of ed to find out if someone there can attend a meeting with the school.  I've been thinking about moving him out of his classes, and am thinking that might not be the right approach.  Yes, he's got friends.  He's very social.  But the girl thing is what has stirred up this whole thing.  He told me his friends were telling him that she was using him.  I THINK he's got this figured out now...you are so right, I was telling my son about how some girls like to get boys fighting over them...funny you mentioned it!!  He said he's done..I sure hope so.  I just feel bad for him.  I feel kind of guilty because I don't know if he's truly getting the max benefit from meds, etc.  I just don't know.  Yes, he's on suspension, and of course the idiot vp gave him the max of 3 days.  Hopefully we'll be meeting with the school tomorrow.  Keep you posted...BTW if anyone here knows of a good DR in the SO CAL area, please let me know.  Thanks!

My sons doc is a child psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. He is on Topanga Cny. on the Valley side. Don't know how far that is for you but he really cares what happens and he specializes in pharmacology. Also there is a famous doc here. Doug Sears phd md but he is never taking patients I have tried for 2 years to get in. Any doc at UCLA would be good to check out. I do not have enough info on your son to comment on the situation but if you don't feel comfortable find a new doc. they are everywhere. I am so sorry to hear what happened to your son and how it turned out is so unfair.Thank you so much for your support!!  Spamula, I'm in Corona, but will do whatever it takes to get him the help he needs.  I've taken him to the amen clinic, and they wanted to try to get him off Concerta!!  So I know they probably aren't a good choice to return to.  He definitely needs it!  If you're comfortable giving me your Dr's name here, I will call him.  Or you can email me. I searched and searched yesterday and most of the psychopharmacologists I saw and in bev hills, so I'm prepared to drive.  Trying to meet with the school today.  I'll keep you posted. 

Hi, met with the princip and school psych today.  Discussed all that has happened.  Turns out my son is looking more like the victim, as the kid and his friends held down my son and held back my son's friend.  My husband put it back in their hands.  I think he may have the school thinking twice now.  My son is going to do an SST and I have to fill out a large packet of paperwork.  I think it would be more of an IEP?  I need to educate myself more on this...it's so confusing!!

SuzyQ,

I am glad you replied. My son at first saw his pediatrician for meds, however, my son is soooo Hyper and impulsive, that he needed more and my ped. explained how he does NOT specialize in adhd and referred us to a doctor who does, and other disorders, and he also is a brilliant mind with the meds. He can mix anything and know where you will end up. He can play with the dose, obviously you have to take them for him to know if it is successful, and he can add a little something (for us it was tenex/guanfacine) and it does the trick.

Any doctor who tells you that 54 mg is the highest dose of concerta does NOT know what they are talking about. You take the 54 pill along with another. My son is taking a 54 & a 36 to reach his dose of 90mg. I am going to be increasing him soon to 108 (two 54's) to reach that dose.

I would have your son start with a 54 + 18 to reach 72mg first, if he needs more than do the 54 +36 that we are doing now.

I am so glad that your son has figured it out. I agree about not sure to move him into the other classes with no free time. I would definetly move him away from both the girl and other boy, they are trouble!!

Go after the VP please.  YOu also want this suspension off his record and something to happen to BOTH the girl and other boy. THey may have even planned it for all we know!!

 

Wow..what a nightmare this has been...one lie after another!   Bottom line, yes he gave the money to two girls, but there is one he gave more to as he admitted to the vice principal that he's got a crush on her...already figured that...they did make her parents aware of this.  Apparently, she's basically taking full advantage of him, isn't interested, and likes some other guy.  Turns out the the fall he supposedly took in the bathroom Monday wasn't a fall, it was a fight with this other boy.  But since the other boy is an honors student, (admitted that he hit my son 4 times, and takes karate), my son is the only one that got suspended for 3 days.  My son is not a fighter, and he insists that the vp took the other kid's side...isn't this SO common?  He's got cut lips, and a gash above his eye, yet he gets suspended...my husband is not taking this well.  He's planning to visit the school. So I requested that my son be put into OPTIONS, which is a program at school where they don't have PE or an elective class, or recess, and only 15 mins for lunch.  That way he can't do any socializing, etc.  I don't think he's emotionally mature enough yet to be handling this kind of challenge.  So next we'll have to get him to the doctor and get the meds evaluated.  He's trying to be the guy with the $...to gain popularity I guess...I'm also planning on him going back to the counselor next week.  I'll keep you posted...

Hi, the principal did call me today.  She said she's going to work on it.  She said the same thing...maybe the parents need to know, etc.  I think he needs a higher done, but this psych he sees said he didn't want to increase his med.  I'm going to schedule a new dr.  He's been seeing this guy since he was 6 years old.  Maybe it's time to move on...I'll let you know when I find out more.  Thanks for your support!

His impulsivity is high. Is he on meds? are they right dosage? at that age they tend to do wierd things and meds get messed with because of puberty and teen years can be different for the ADHD kid.

I think something is going on at school - is he buying friends or love?

Do I remember correctly that last time the 0 went to a girl?

I swear that something is going on at school - especially since it stopped for the month break.

Can you change schools??? I would call the school and tell them this, maybe they can find out if there is!!

I had a HUGE problem with stealing from family when I was a youngster.  I stole things from my older sister (I think because I wanted to be like her and I was jealous) and I stole money from my mom's purse on more than one occasion.

As I got into my teens and early twenties, I turned to shoplifting.  It was a big problem.  Yes, I got caught but only once.  I spent 11 months in intense therapy to resolve it.  I no longer shoplift and have a deeper understanding of why I did it.  For me, it was quite complicated.  Not only did I have continued ADHD (which noone recognized or acknowledged) but I had deep, emotional scars from my family dynamics.  To overcome the stealing, I had to work very hard.  It required a lot of insight.  Your child may or may not be able to express his true emotions but I guarantee you one thing - he won't be able to express why he does this on his own.  And trust me, he DOES care.  He may say he doesn't, but I know from personal experience that he does. He needs professional help.  I urge you to seek out someone who will help him.  You may need family therapy (where everyone attends) to help him through this.

Good luck.
Mr son is 13 and has stolen different amounts of $$ from my husband and I.  I sent him thru a weekly therapy group, etc.  I found out that the last time he stole 0 from my husband, he gave it to a girl at school.  He's in year round school.  He'd been off for a month and everything was fine..he goes back and one week later he stole close to 0 from my husbands deposit bag.  (Now the 0 is coming out of his account and he doesn't seem to care)....what to do?  I feel like a victim in my own home.  Any suggestions?  I'm ready to move out!Take away what he values most?

Yes, I found out last night he gave the $$ to the same girl.  He's only been back to school for 2 weeks...I agree...I think he's lacking the impulse control, because he's been totally pigging out in the mornings on sweets that he has no business doing.  A new Dr is in order because his current Dr says he's on the max Concerta 54.  Maybe he needs a totally different med.  He also takes Risperdal 1.5 mg in PM.  Here's what I did...my husband said it just makes him sick to his stomach, that we must do something about it.  He asked me to call the police.  The officer knew exactly what was going on.  He came into my house and told him straight out about life, and where he could end up if he doesn't get it under control.  He took the girls name, and is contacting the school to find out what's going on with the $$.  I put a call in to the principal today.  I am going to request that he be removed from any classes he has with her, and possibly moved to a different school.  This is so maddening...thank you all for you thoughts...I really appreciate it.  I'll keep you posted..Bethann, you've got a good memory!! 

SUZYQ,

I think you and your husband did the right thing. He definetly is NOT on the max'd dose of concerta.

Tell the doctor to add a prescription of 18 - h ave your son take both - he will then be on 72mgs. My son was on that dose for a few years.

He now takes a 54 & a 36 to reach 90mgs. Tell your doctor!!! He needs an increase, especially if concerta is working, do NOT change meds just yet!!

Please let us know what is happening. This could be any one of us parents. Something is happening with the money. What is he buying or paying for?????

And maybe because I am sensitive, BUT I think she may be putting him up to it!! but I am not sure.

has the school gotten back to you guys yet???