Is it just me or him?? | ADHD Information

Share

My husband was out of town and I honestly thought that DS2 would be excited to see the projects on display and that would hold his attention but I think that we got there too early and had to wait so my fault for the timing.

Once we got home and I had time to speak with DS1 about his brother's behavior I did tell him that he doesn't behave like that to make him mad or to upset him but that sometimes it is difficult for him to control his behavior and emotions.  Not that I was excusing his behavior at all (in fact he had to come home and go right to bed) but just trying to explain it as best I could.

Next time I will know better and see if I can get a sitter or someone else to watch the younger 2 so that I can focus on the older one.

It seems to be a rather impulsive week for DS2 so maybe he isn't getting enough sleep.  I'll try getting him to bed earlier next week to see if that helps him (and me!! )

My son has been very impulsive recently (more so than usual  & more than I feel like I can tolerate).  Some of the better examples include - putting a handful of change in his soup while waiting for it to cool, peeing on the side of my neighbors house (in full view of everyone) b/c he waited too long and didn't ask if he could go inside to use the bathroom, being very loud when he needs to use a softer voice and then last night climbing at inappropriate times and yelling at me during a school function.  The last one really did me in.  We went to a school event for ds1 at 7:00.  DS2 & DS3 (who is 2) were nutty all evening.  I tried several times to talk to them quietly and calmly about their behavior but no real changes.  I told them they had to hold my hand in the hallway since they wouldn't stop running around and climbing where they shouldn't. Of course they didn't want to do that so DS2 starts screaming that I'm hurting him and then the baby started copying his big brother & yelling it too! How embarrasing!!!  We didn't stay long at DS1s event b/c of the behavior of the other 2 and DS1 was devastated and cried.  If I had given a half dose of meds after school would it have lasted long enough to get us through the evening activity or would it have worn off by 7?  I am just struggling with why he seems more impulsive within the last week or so.  Maybe it is me and I don't have the same tolerance i used to.  I don't know.  I feel like I am yelling at him everyday for some reason and I know that is not fair to him as he can't always control his body.  Any suggestions?

I too stuggle with a attention seeking child. MY Darling Niece. she's 2.7 years older than my DD almost 6. Sometimes i plat tricks on her to distract her. in stead of saying shhhh I give her a sucker.  other times   i give someone else a sucker  for   some silly hing they   do and like a moth. she hones in my attention im giving others   she'' goas far as knocking suckers out of other kids hands if she doesnt get  one  "opps" then he loudness of screaming gets all parents involved.

so my trick is to have a silly contest on how can catch a favorite rubber ball i keep in my tool belt-  pocket.  previously the kids argue over it. last moth it was a little doll hats. so after its all said and done   i pick up those  small toys and put them in the car. Attention seeking kids like to do small jobs or tasks that they recieve praise for.so i get attention with the toys  but then send her on a mission.at just the right time    i give out a sucker or treat  or a can of soda  that keeps her  Quiet , or occupied , or something in her hands that she wouldnt dare let go of.   with her hands full  she's less likley to grab things that I have to correct her about.when I time it right  i can praise her for praising the other kids . Theyre not adhd  but attention seeking behavoir is betwween 80 & 90 of behavior.sometimes  like the coins thing above    there are natrual consequincesso when they also get negative attention  (a scolding or yelled at)  they tend to keep on doing impulsive things for attention.  even just to divert attention a sibling is getting.something on he order of cleaning the coins and time out until its done time out rules vary   , IM a believer in time out  but it has to be consistent .trying to explain to my DD thats time to be quiet    never works  .

since i do the time out thing wih

1 finger  2 fingers 3 fingers  which means disciple is going to happen now

i can usually just get her attention  with putting

1 finger  as she see's it.  i put it to my mouth    SHHHH FOLLOWED BY A QUICK 2 finger

this works for me   but only because thats what im consistent with.I can only imagine having three and doing it alone  .  that's just an uphill battle hats off to you .Its nice to  have an alternaive parents  to run interference  .  when a sibling is center stage. sometimes parents of playmates  can take turns in a back hall  keeping things smoother.once it become an all out hyper outburst though its like everything else .

hand gestures  .

minimize stimuless  by using calm voice convince them somewhere esle is where they want to be  .   Ice cream  out side  followed by what parents do best!!!!!!!creative outlet goes a long way    when attention is given to it.  thats why put things on the refridgerator .. i use gold star stickers  for hings i encourage   .I have admit it though   . i have used  princess stickers  on my niece.a small book from the dollar store    for quiet when it mattered  .  the shiny unicorn ones  that they usually argue  over.again its something equivalent to a distraction appears to be attention.  it takes her eyes off what she's targeting. it requires  no speaking  and keeps her hands busy  . also praising her for being quiet if if she's not .attention seeking kids like praise   so if you tell them why thier  getting praise . they tend to do just what youve suggested.   

-------------------------------------------

I see this one all the timea crying child   being told to  stop crying or the parent do do something the child will cry about.  youll be grounded . you wont get.  ill spank you outside!control battles with children is like playing tug of war.as long as youre arguing with them  theyre in control.drop the rope   tell them when theyre ready to talk calmly  they can come back from time out.from point of view im rightbut as we all know  if someone disagrees   it does no good to square off and become defensive.its better to listen to why they disagree.but with kids  its tricky.   when you explore thier point of view  they expect you finnaly see thier side. but they get over ruled . heres where the suggestion comes in. instead of disagreing offer a positve out come and move on . understand what approachability

hmmmm   i think im going off topic     .  

impulsiveness isnt allways bad  but it does get alot of attention.

  

Luvmykids0239918.5740393519Is it sleep related? My son's ADHD behaviors are really exaggerated with lack of sleep.

I don't bring the younger one to the school events. Often I won't go to evening school events. If I agree to, actually going depends on my assessment of the behavior 30 minutes before departure time. And the consequence once we get there is that we will leave, and I will leave at the drop of a hat with no explanation.Jessica N39918.8717592593

SOMETHING I TRIED TO INSTILL 

in teens that i know are always tired at school.

i ask them  .

if its 1130 now  and i wake you up at 6am  how many hours of sleep are going to get.  6 1/2    hmm  isay   you know   that youre suppossed to get   12-10 hrs on school nights right? 

 

the next day  i try to catch them when thier grumpy and irritated  and bring it back up.    good sleep  helps you focuss  cause  yur mnd was rested!

they always roll thier eyes at me   .

but later   i try to let them know when hier out of school   they need get sleep on work nights   for the same reason.

---------

then i go into more depth about sleep deprivation   and how it makes everything harder to do   .

if im lucky   they connect   thier adhd impulses  and sleep deprivation   as a poor combination  .  

I gave up on the talk about sleep with my son - it wasn't his fault, it was the
medication. Started giving him melatonin and it works like a charm. He gets
his sleep and that's a huge amount of badgering I don't have to deal with.