Mother worn out | ADHD Information

I have an almost 11 year old ADHDer with Anxiety disorder. I am also soooo worn out and I only have 1 child. The stress of all the aspects of ADHD are hard to deal with sometimes , I know. My son started on FocalinXR which made him a zombie and he refused meds for 9 months. He finally decided to try Vyvanse because you could drink it in 7-up. about 1 year later we were taking him off as it wasn't helping and he became very abusive and aggresive and angy. So now the Doctor suggests Concerta more even distribution that the Focalin. (It is a pill). So we start with 18mg he is already taking Zoloft for anxiety in a small pill, so when the 18mg was as small as his other pill we started it. now we are up to 36mg and the Pills are huge! But he know they help him. anyway welcome to the board and I hope you can find what you need here.

To discipline him we have been grounding him which isn't working because he is grounded all the time. We have just started working with a therapist who is working on a behavior management plan. This makes me feel like a failure as a mother because I feel like I should be able to handle the discipline of my child. But I'm kind of at the end of my rope. He is involved in sports and several clubs so he is kept busy.We set rules and it seems like he trys to behave and wants to but doesn't. He is not a violent kid or aggressive, he is mouthy and smart mouth and constantly on the go and doing stuff he is not susposed to. He has impulse control issues where he will do stuff even though he knows he's not susposed to and he doesn't know why. One time at a department store he stuck his hand in the back side of an automatic door. It took me telling him 3 times to quit, and the 3rd time I had to yell, to get him to quit. The medicine he has been on was first Strattera. It worked good for a year. I don't remeber the dosage but it was highest dose for his weight. Then they put him on Vyvanse. I hated it. He was like a zombie and couldn't eat a thing. I would try to bribe him to eat but he just couldn't. He would just sit and stare at the wall. Now they got him on Concerta 27mg, his weight being around 111 lbs. This hasn't had any adverse side effects and he has gained 30 lbs since he has went off of the Vyvanse so that's good. But it hasn't helped that much. It just calmed him down a little, hasn't helped with impulse.

Kim dkmsd39921.4068518519The Concer6ta might not be at level yet. we were on 27 for 3 weeks then bumped it to 36mg and my son is 11 and 70 lbs. It was the magic number for us but everyone is different. Talk to the doc about 36mg? He might need it and it might control the impulses better.I just joined the other day right after I talked to my 10yr olds bus driver and he threatened to kick him off the bus. I just felt whipped and needed to hear from someone going through the same stuff. He was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years ago and was put on Straterra which helped for about a year. Now they keep changing his medicine and nothing is helping. I also have a 2 and 1 yr old that act about the same as my 10yr old. I am continuously after one kid or another. There is always mayhem in my house. Any stories or ideas on ADHD and keeping the peace would be appreciated. Hate to say it, but it could be that puberty is rearing it's ugly head.

What have you been doing to discipline him? What's his schedule like?
He might resist it, but he's still a child, and you can require him to follow
a certain set of rules, even if you have to remind him about them way
more than would seem necessary.

How's he do with goals? You might be able to find a carrot he was willing
to work for, like more privacy or more grown up opportunities.

And what's up with the meds? Like I said before, puberty could nullify
their effects. What's his history - what has he taken and at what dosage?
And what's his weight - could be that he just doesn't have a high enough
dose.

Keep talking - it helps! Best of luck to you!Rewards work much better, or immediate quick consequences. You could put a jar of worth of quarters on the dinner table on Sunday. Tell him how he's earning it and that quarters will be deducted for X. He gets to keep what ever is left the next Sunday morning.grounding doesn't work just like spanking doesn't work. ADHD Kids need goals and consequnces and rewards, constant. the more you catch them doing well the better I also thought Corrina said it well. It doesn't have to be money all the time we reward with computer and game time(BIG REWARDS) re-evaluated many times a day, and many other little day trips we go on as a family.He responds much better to that than putting him down and taking away. Positive reinforcement as much as possibble.Disciplining via grounding doesn't work for my son, either. He has
certain things he knows he will always get - like reading in bed before he
goes to sleep. Then he has things that he can be grounded from when he
really goes off the deep end - like access to his Nintendo DS.

But what really does the trick is giving him goals to earn extra stuff. Like
tonight he had a pizza party (past bed time!) with a neighbor kid. He's
allowed a few moments of difficulty before he gets grounded. But to get
extra fun stuff, he has to earn them. And he does.

How it worked for him, especially in the beginning, is that we would
negotiate every week for what he would get. Like go to see a certain
movie. We would agree on it at the beginning of the week. We'd also
agree on behavior standards, and they would change week to week. I
expected more of him as we went along, and if there was a crazy week
(something that threw him off schedule) then we would give him a little
leeway. Every night I would check in with him and let him know if he was
on target to reaching his goal. Every morning I would remind him of his
goal and what his reward would be.

It was very formal in the beginning, now it's a habit, but the attention we
paid to the planning really made an impact pretty quickly. And giving
him the opportunity to come up with the rewards really kept him
engaged.

By the way, most of his rewards were not monetarily based - he usually
came up with an activity for us to do together, like go to a park and play
or I would drive him to school instead of taking the bus. I didn't throw
money at him to bribe him. I just made sure he knew I was rewarding his
good behavior.I started an awards system for my son and so far it is alot easier than fighting with him. My husband is trying but is still bad to send him to his room instead of taking the points away like I set up. I hope I can get everybody on the same page. He goes back to the doc soon so I will bring up the meds. Thanks for the advise. Any other advise I will be glad to hear.That's great to hear! "A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single
step." Hopefully it won't be that long for you, but at least now you're
moving in the right direction!

I honestly believe it is because his meds are NOT helping him.

My son is 11, going on 12. He has been successful BOTH concerta and guanfacine(tenex). He is on 90 mg's (but needs an increase  ). We will be increasing in the summer.

I strongly recommend calling his doctor and discussing his meds. Once you find the right one and right dose, you will not be dealing with what you are dealing with. He is not taking anything that is helping him have a successful day.

He is acting out impulsively and hyper, and it is annoying some of the stuff, believe me I know. You don't want to zombie them out with meds too strong, but you want to help them make the right choices with everything, including their behavior.

Does your pediatrician prescribe? We have a psychopharmacologist write the prescipts. He specializes in adhd, bipolar, depression, etc. he is also brilliant with all the meds "out there" to chose from. He is there to "talk" if my son ever wants to when he is older, too young right now.

My son would never make it through the day without "ticking" someone off without his meds. Believe me I know what it is like.

Please feel free to ask any questions so that we may help you, and especially your son!!