Sad, scared and hopeful | ADHD Information

So, after almost two years, I had to give into medication. Though it's not entirely for ADHD. The doc talked with a neurologist and based on my husband's family history of tics, the OCD & ADHD diagnosis, he agreed that my son does have Tourette's.

So, they've prescribed Clonidine (sp?). They said it will help with the tics and may even deal with some of the ADHD hyperactivety. I'm hopeful but, I'm so so sad right now. It's all I can do to keep from full on crying my eyes out. I just feel like I've failed him. I know it's silly but, it's how I feel right now.

I spent years begging, pleading then screaming for people to help us to help him. Everyone just kept telling me that he's so incredibly intelligent he's fine. Then suddenly we got one diagnosis after another. All within a few months time. I felt like everything got suddenly out of control but, as long as he wasn't on meds, he was still just fine. He just needed a little help.

When I realized that my help wasn't enough....somehow it was still ok because he wasn't on medication of any kind. When the doctor called me today it started sinking in I guess. Then when I had to give him the medication tonight...it broke my heart. This is it, there really isn't a whole lof left that I can do to help him. You know?

Anyway, I'm sorry, been a rude awakening for me today. Does anyone know if this might help his ADHD symptoms on it's own with no other ADHD meds? And other than sleepiness, which the doc warned me of, any others that I should know about? I am being stupid about this whole thing? Did anyone else feel this way? What did you do to get over this feeling of loss or failure? Any advice?

Thanks - Em

I think your son is 4. Yes, this will be fine in preschool. Jessica N39943.8992708333I'm sure you've heard the analogies - if he had asthma you'd give him an
inhaler even though it's steroids wouldn't you? He needs this medication.
You are brave to stand up to your unsubstantiated fears and give him
what he needs. You don't know what his reaction will be - but his doctor
has a lot of knowledge and can make a pretty good guess that it will be
alright or he wouldn't have prescribed it.

My son went 2.5 years without medication, and as many times as I've
heard and given that same advice, I was scared to death about
medicating him. I felt like an unbelievable hypocrite. But I bit the bullet
and guess what - my son is doing phenomenally well! The greatest gains
were in the social arena. Even he didn't realize how lonely he had been
before he could control his impulsivity.

It feels awful when you do something that affects your kid that's brand
new and you don't know where you're going to end up. That's a good
instinct. So's the fierce one that says "anything it takes." The push-pull
of those conflicting instincts can tear you up. But you love your son
enough to make his life the best it can be. Give yourself some credit
where it is due!

Best of luck - let us know how it turns out.My son has ADHD, Anxiety disorder, depression and adjustment disorder, and undiagnosed Tourretes. The psych won't dx him yet as there are no vocal tics at this time but alot of anxiety ticks that are low end. he is 11, so we might see more. But for now I take him as he is and help him anyway I can. Let him find his own road to success and he will. He is a smart little bugger. You have not failed and it isn't your fault. I felt responsible for the 1st couple of months then stepped out of lets feel sorry and do what I can to get information on these disorders. Good Luck to you. < =text/>_popupControl(); JandDsmom,  that feeling of failure is something we all know about. You have to believe that by giving your child meds, you haven't reached a point of failure, you've taken a step to get your child the help he needs. It isn't the end of a road but the beginning of a journey with lots of successes and probably some setbacks in store for you both. You can't possibly have failed your child because you care enough to work hard for him and advocate for what's best for him. The best thing you can do is to truly educate yourself about his diagnosis and make decisions about what you will and won't do in regards to it. For instance, we made it clear to our psych and our son's school that we would try a few meds if we didn't hit on the right one right away, but if after two or MAYBE three, they weren't greatly enhancing his life, we would choose to stop and homeschool. Also, we weren't willing to add new meds to counter the side affects from other meds. If that was necessary, we would pull the plug and homeschool. Educating yourself is the best way to relieve anxiety and guilt because it gives you back some control. We often fear what we don't understand. How sad would it be if as a result of no treatment or ineffective treatment, your child could never grow up having the opportunity to achieve their personal best? How scared would you be if your child as a teenager had no control over his impulses so as a result of that he acted without thinking. Such a scenario doesn't give much hope for the future. When your feeling sad and scared, think about the long term effects of ineffective treatment or no treatment . When you understand that you are giving medication to your child to basically save his life, your choice to give medication wont seem so bad after all. Improving the quality of your child's life makes you a good parent, not a failure