nanny in need | ADHD Information

I also hopes his mom will come here.  As for what the meds will do, they will help control the impulsivity, hyperactivity, and attention issues.  This means that he'll be able to slow his body down enough to think and decide how to act, vs. impulsively acting.  Hopefully you'll see that'll mean he won't say such horrible things to you, will be able to control the volume of his voice, sit and focus on the homework, etc.  I can tell you that my son had issues w/ all of these things and many more things -- including being too physical w/ other people -- before he started ADHD meds.  When the medication is in his system, these problems vanish.  The wonderful person inside him is allowed to shine through, and he is a pleasure (most of the time.  Nobody's perfect!).

You said that he's 13, right?  If he was managing OK before and things now seem worse, it could be due to puberty.  The hormone changes can also cause changes in the ADHD.  Of course, there's also all of the emotional/social issues of teen years that also could exacerbate the ADHD.

Back to the meds for a minute.  You're right that there can be side effects.  Most common one seems to be suppressed appetite.  If he takes a stimulant, make sure he gets a good breakfast before he takes the medicine or within 1/2 hour of taking it.  Don't worry if he eats little or none for lunch, and the parents may need to plan on delaying dinner until the stimulant has worn off.  Teenagers often eat a lot, but due to making up calories, don't be surprised if he eats a ton at night.  My child's dr. has said that it doesn't matter if he eats little in the middle of the day; it only matters that he's eating enough total.

To evaluate the medicine, just watch for anything you might notice.  The parents will have to rely on your observations to some degree b/c they're unlikely to seem him while it's in his system during weekdays.  When observing, also look for any patterns whether certain things occur at certain times of the day.  For instance, I've run across a few parents who thought the meds weren't really working, but then they realized that the problems were only in the evening (after the medicine had worn off) and the meds were working in the afternoon. 

Also remember that sometimes you have to slowly increase the dose until you find the right one.  This means that you might see some improvement in the ADHD at lower doses, but it might be small changes. 

I hope things get better soon for all of you! 

Mom2ADHDboy39946.4203819444

i have been having more trouble with him than ever. he has been telling me "no", yelling, he has been rude and hurtful(emotionaly). i just don't know what to do anymore.

his sister came up to me and said he needed to go back on meds he was never like this when he was on them...

i am curious how much it could really help for him to be on meds. what is it that they can do for him? how many meds are actually out there? i know basicaly, but what would i have to look for while we are trying new ones? as far as ticks or worse reactions?

i have refered their mother to this site maybe she will come and find help herself.

I hope she comes here and chats!

 

Is there anything he really likes to do?  Maybe bike to a near by park when homework is done if it is done while there is still time to go there before you leave?  This would give him  a really immediate reward which he needs.  He doesn't like homework and it is hard for him to do it- so he needs a reason to want to do it.  What is it that he really wants?  Find out what it is and check out the marble section on this website.  My son is also 13 so marbles don't work for him anymore but we have a point system.  He is saving for an ipod.

thank you so much for all your help...! hello, i am not sure if i am on the right forum but it was the best fit i
found.
i am a nanny and i daily work with 2 children, a 13 year old boy with
ADHD and a 9 year old girl. i have been with the family for several
months now and we are still experiencing a real hardship.
the 13 year old has a real issue with anger and talking back, he always
has to have the last word, math is his weak subject. i have been asked
by the parents to help him work on his math first because they don't
understand it and could not help him. i make sure there is a set structure
in our day and it is always the same... with in reason.
both children have a set time for their break after school to get a snack
and just relax (20 min) they both know what is required of them. they
know when time is up they need to be working on their homework. i have
the same issues with the 13 year old everyday... he is just trying to argue
to stall from doing his math . but i fall into the same trap just the
same. lately he has been mouthing off even more and it can really hurt
sometimes . both parents seem to be working with me and are
willing to try anything to help... but no meds. i need any help and advise
you may have...???!!!jane230839938.5546759259thank you both for your input. we are discussing meds, it is obviously
coming to a point where someone/something has to break... and we want
the best for all. i am deff. blessed because i have total support from both
parents so i know how good i have it, and no way would i have been able
to stick it out this long with it being this hard with out that support.
i also wanted to ask about omega 3 oil pills i have heard that may help...i
was thinking about suggesting it to his parents as a step to take before
going back to meds. any input on that? also adjusting his diet...?
i am considering trying to break it up for him... the problem is i am only
there while there is not parent home... so i only have from about 4PM till
6 or 7PM to get all homework done. so stopping to take a break every
few min. may not allow me to get it done on time, but it may allow us to
continue working on it until i have to go.

Once you get his meds in place and they are where they need to be, you will be fine getting through homework.

We also find that we get homework done once he gets home and then he does what he wants. So that would work for your schedule as well.

our son takes meds even on the weekends, he is adhd 24/7!!

Also, diet has never changed a thing. Our son was born with something that was passed on genetically. Sugar, dyes, etc. never changed a thing for our son's behaviour, impulsiveness, hyperness, etc.

I always wondered those it does help with a diet change, whether they truly do have adhd or not? I don't know but It is a personal thing to do, diet, meds, etc.

I just hate it when these kids take the punishment, bullying, social outcast, etc all because adults are not getting the child the help that the child needs. It truly breaks my heart!!

the family you work for are very lucky they have you. They do need to be involved with these decisions and I am glad that they are.

Please keep posting. You will have more questions if meds are introduced. All children respnd differently to meds.

We are all here to help!!  Keep posting!

You're in a tough position, and I applaud you for coming here and trying to figure out what might help this boy.  Unfortunately, ADHD can lead to having difficulty focusing on tasks that do not interest you.  There also can be impulse control issues that lead to difficulty controlling what one says.  Have you or the parents tried a behavior modification plan?  That would mean giving him a reward when you see the behavior you want to see.  It could be getting computer time or something else.  Rewards are more effective if you get them immediately after you see the behavior you're trying to reinforce.

Some people w/ ADHD do better focusing on a task if it's broken into small parts.  Maybe you could try breaking the math into just a couple of problems at a time?  You can cover the other parts with a paper, for instance.  It might help improve his focus.  Also, it might help to build breaks into the work and not expect him to do the math all in one sitting.  So, for instance, if there are 10 problems, you can tell him that he'll have a 5-minute break to use the computer after he's completed 3 problems.  Set a timer, and he knows to return to work when it goes off (better for the timer to be the bad guy ending computer fun than you!  When I used to do this w/ my child, he never would come when I told him time was up, but he always came when the timer beeped). 

 

 

I actually feel sorry for HIM, as well as YOU!! I am glad to have you among us!!

He honestly needs meds to help control his impulsive mouth, hyper thoughts, and frustation. My son would not be able to survive middle school and all the homework, organization without his meds. He also has a 504 plan which helps between teachers and us help our son.

Is there anything that you can do to talk with his parents about meds? There son is struggling and he is suffering.

Bethann

I so agree with you.  I would hate feeling I have not done everything for my child to be her best.  I know without meds, counseling and diet change will not help my child. 

My dh had some reservations at first but now is all for whatever we need to do to help our dh.  We have opted not to tell anyone that we are using meds as people have such strong opionins.  We may tell some people later but as of now I just want to keep it between us. 

Jane

The parents are lucky to have such a caring nanny.  We are just beginning with meds but I wish you much luck.  Please keep posting.

 

You could try a very small dosage just for homework. Jessica N39943.8968518519