Need to reach out! | ADHD Information

Hello everyone. I found this sight while researching medication. After spending the last hour reading all the posts, through my tears, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to reach out for support. My son, who will be 11 in June, was diagnosed ADHD in February. I know it sounds strange, but I was thrilled. This has been going on since he was 6. I tried counseling, meetings with teachers. consequences, etc. Finally, I had an answer to why he is acting the way he is. So, the first day of medication, my son looks at me with his huge blue eyes and says, "Mom, I like that medicine the doctor gave me. It makes me feel so much better ". I was so glad. I felt SO GUILTY for not doing it sooner for him. I was one of those parents, who did not believe in medicating children. But, it finally came down to what was best for my son, not what I believed. The meds were working great, better behavior at school, grades came up a little bit. Thought I had found the "miricle", I had prayed and cried so hard for. But, you knew there would be one, the last few weeks, all of it is starting to come back. The power struggles with the teacher, the flat out refusing to do any of his work at school. Lying about his homework, daying rude and nasty things to his classmates. My son has been labled for his entire school years so far. He does have some friends, some have just slowly went away. Most of the time, he is a charming boy, but when he reaches that point, look out. Some days are such a battle, it is so exhausting! I am home today, because of another email update from the school, that just sent me over the edge. I love my son very much, and do realize that it is my job as the parent, to do everything in my power to give hime the tools to make his life successfull.I do realize  that. But how do you get over the feelings of guilt, shame and resentment? The shame comes from the words I read from the teacher when she was informing me of behavior yesterday.." Can you imagine the stories that the other students told their families?".  So, great! Now, the rest of the community will judge my son as well. I just don't know what to do anymore. Things went from h_ _l, to really good, back down again. And everytime I allow myself to think of the labeling.....i get angry. What else can I do? The teacher says, he is in her top three worst behaving kids, after a 35 year career. I have a 504, and we are setting up the IEP for next year, in two weeks. Sometimes, I think a new state, with a new school would be very benifical! Thanks for letting me  unload. Again, after finding this site, and reading it, it finally made it clear to me, that I am not alone. I did not realize the extent of people who deal with this on a daily basis as well. Thank you again.

 

I agree with PP that you should call the doctor to get a dose change which is common in the beginning. You may even have to try a different med. This is all par for the course. There is nothing for you to feel guily about. My son is 11 was dx at age 8 in 3rd grade. His behaivior was terrible and the teacher was worse. This is not your fault We just got on the right med for my Son Concerta and it has been upped 2x's. My son refused meds for 1 year after not liking the 1st med we tried. We finally talked him into starting again but it took 2 more meds and 2 dose hikes to get to the right place. DO NOT FEEL BAD! We all go through this and can relate to your feelings.SMR,

I'm glad you found this site. It has been my lifeline many a time. I just wanted to ask if your child has been sick, fighting a cold or allergies. I notice that whenever my son is coming down with something it seems like his meds just don't work. This usually last about a week and then he is fine again. It may be he just needs his meds changed or increased. Like you and many others on this board I was hesitant to try meds. I decided to give them a try and figured if we didn't like the side effects we would quit. I was amazed at the difference in my son on meds. Even at first when the dosage was to low there was still a significant change in his behavior. Just remember that you have to continually reevaulate his meds. What might have worked for a long time can suddenly not work any longer. I wish you and your son luck.
Thanks jigsaw1 And YES, he came down with the flu, which lasted about 6 days!!! And that is when it all started again! Amazing! Thank you for sharing, that brings me a little sigh of relief. I will keep monotoring his meds. Thank you again, not only for your ear, but for your support! I am so glad I found this site!

Welcome, my son will be 12 in June. We all live your life. We are all close through posts offering compassion, solutions, swapping stories, etc.

You are at the right place. It is a great place to laugh and cry together. Believe me you are far from being alone anymore. You are surrounded by so many members who are just like you and your family, especially your son. And the school horrors, as well as social, that we all discuss.

As you read posts, you will be reading about yourself.  It is a very comforting place!!

Keep us posted as to how you make out with the increase, we can help you with all that as well, because of own experience with our children and their meds, and puberty, etc.

Talk to you soon!!

beth

Go back to the dr. and get a new med or dosage increase. My ds has been
taking meds for 3 1/2 years. We have tried them all and use concerta and
short acting focalin in the mornings. We have had to change dosages and
meds several times. Also, the spring seems to get him "crazy" for some
reason. His allergies start getting bad and his anxiety goes up. Happens
every year and then we are OK by summer. Don't give up. Use the summer
to get his behavior under control and get ready for the next school year.
Keep a schedule for him this summer and keep him busy. Sign him up for
camps if you can or a structured program. Do some light schoolwork to
keep his brain going as well. Visit the library, etc. Hang in there, it will get
better!!

< =text/>_popupControl(); Welcome, SMR.  How long has your son been on his meds? It is very common to need to increase dosage a bit at a time until you reach the level that sticks.  It also VERY common to have to switch meds if the first one is giving him an adverse reaction. I think that you would have noticed that immediately, though, instead of going through a good period first.  Talk to your doc; he or she could probably write a 'scrip for a dosage in a very low amount, say 5 mgs. a capsule, that would allow you to increase 5 mgs at a time over the course of a few weeks until you find the dosage that works for your son over time.  Again, check with the doc and see what he thinks.

As for guilt and shame, we all feel those at some time, but you have to realize that they are very unproductive emotions that will only undermine your decision-making in the future. Try to let them go. You may need to find a counselor yourself.  Keep your chin up!   

Hello SMR...I am new here as well but I just want to say you are deffinantly not alone..Obviously I am no expert but I would say go back to the doctor and see if perhaps your son has outgrown his dosage or if maybe a new medication would be better for him...I to have so much trouble with teachers, principles ect. labeling my son..The only thing that I can tell you is correct his behavior in whatever way you need to but also be his advocate..most teachers either dont understand ADHD or dont even try to..I had one teacher say to me "I dont know how he's allowed to behave at home" as if I was just a bad mother and he a bad kid..I promptly put her in her place and then printed out a ton of information about ADHD and aspergers (which my son also has) and brought it to her in person..i told her as kindly as I could that perhaps she should do a little research and get the facts about ADHD and aspergers before she
felt the need to give me parenting advice..I didnt have any more problems that year..lol..I hope that Ive helped a little..and if you ever need someone to talk to just let me know Good Morning everyone. Thank you all for your input, suggestions, and support! What a God send this is. We have had a few days of improved behavior, which is good. We also have an appointment on Friday, looking forward to that. I feel as though I don't have enough of an understanding of ADHD, I need more information, can anyone recommend any books, websites, etc? The more knowledge the better! BPQW, yes, counseling for me as well, is definitly in the works. Thanks again, will keep updating.

remember, it is genetic. Who in your family passed it on to your son?? Many adults are diagnosed as their child/children are.

There is more adhd out there than people realize. Presidents of countries, as well as USA, have been adhd. So many successful people have also had the adhd as well. Your child is among a very select group of people!!  We just have to keep our kids on the right track through out their childhood.

I can so relate to the shame over the teacher's notes. My almost 7 year old is in private school and I hate it when I have to pick him up because I never know what the teacher is going to tell me he did. His behavior slips have said things like, "Looking up a girls skirt........Putting his hand on a girl's leg.......Pulled a boy down the slide by one leg......Threw mulch in another student's face......etc. Last week when I picked him up I was told that he was climbing the fence and jumping off the top of the playground equipment and that he was creating an unsafe environment for everyone. The first med the dr put him really didn't do much so I quit giving it to him in the hopes that he could finish the school year without it but we were back at the dr again yesterday and he's starting a new one today. I just can't wait until the school year is over. My husband is out of town for work and I'm at my wit's end.

Becky

We medicated due to behavior like this. My son was hyper and impulsive. THis is all impulsive behaviours, and my son didn't think he was hurting anyone, but all were having fun.

I have lived in your shoes!! It stinks. Concerta and guanfacine(tenex) work like a charm!!