Which school should we choose? | ADHD Information

I wouldn't focus on the friendship issue. Unmedicated ADHD kids are 30% behind peers in the social dept, and a 3.5 year old isn't really expected to make friends. I don't think this should be a factor.

Are you going to medicate?

I would stear clear of the first school. It is not academically oriented. ADHD kids tend to fall behind peers academically slowly year after year, and this has a cummulative effect. Academic slips are very hard to recover from. The teachers at this school need your input to do an adequate job to address lanugage deficits, and he's not even in kindergarten yet. Not good.

The second school sounds good except for the teacher that is not warm and too harsh. And this is with parent present. Go back and observe and breath deep to feel for your parent instincts. Then follow them without question. If you gut says yes, I would go with this one.

If your gut says no, I would go with the public school, but I would get an IEP hook or crook. You can get assistance for the language deficit, or you could pay privately. Sometimes they struggle academically for a few years, and then settle in and do just fine. If not, you can default to school 2.Jessica N39955.9044791667Go for the public school and get an IEP. If it doesn't work out, you can
switch for first grade or have him repeat Kindergarten in a private school.
His teacher will be the key here. Work closely with the teacher and set up
some goals for your son for the school year.Thank you all! DS has a September birthday. He will be almost 6 when he starts kindergarten.

Even though your son will turn 6 in September, I still wouldn't rule out waiting a year if you think it would benefit him. It's fairly common for people to do this, at least it is where I live. My son is 16 and a high school junior. He has a friend in his grade who is 18 and he has known this boy since kindergarten. No big deal!
One other thing I thought to ask: Is your son happy at his current school? Is he learning and progressing? If the answer to these questions is "yes," I would probably vote to keep him there. If not, I would lean toward making a change.
We decided to put our son in mainstream K-5. They denied us an IEP but we do have a 504. It has served us well over the last 5 years, he is graduating this year and going to a public but great middle school in their SAS/Gifted program. He has been medicated since 4th grade only, because he refused it. I would have medicated a little earlier. I have found that the teacher makes all the difference in the world with getting a good outcome with school over the years, do your research no matter where you go and insist on being in the class you want.

We are in the process of selecting a school for DS this year when he enters kindergarten. He has been diagnosed with ADD (inattentive type), and is currently receiving speech/language therapy for receptive language issues and is also in a private social skills group because of pragmatic language deficits. We went private because the county stated that his academic skills were within the average range and, thus, did not warrant services. Our intuition was that we needed his language issues addressed as he has a noticeable difficulty finding words and because he has difficulty structuring conversation. He is highly active, very sweet and outgoing, but has a somewhat quirky personality. Socially, he is somewhat immature. DS is more a hands-on learner.

Below are the three options we are considering. We would love any input from parents who have had similar experiences.

(1). Private School with a Progressive Approach – DS is currently at pre-K of this school. We like the campus. We like it is not academically oriented, lots of recess time,  the more hands-on learning environment. We are worried, however, about whether DS is capable of the individual direction necessary to thrive in the environment. We are concerned that he is at a disadvantage vis-à-vis other students because of his language issues since this school is more child directed play. DS also need lots of teacher redirection. We don’t know if this school is experienced in encouraging children like our DS. Ok, we are confused about this school. We like the lots of recess time, small class size, hands-on learning environment. But in the pre-K year, we had some difficulties in coming up a plan with the teachers to help DS. Under our suggestion, we are communicating with the teachers through a daily log. We feel the teachers are not giving DS enough help on social skills and programmatic language. DS hasn’t make any friendship with any kids in the last year.  We are not sure DS should stay one more year to see how things are going to work out, or should we just leave.

(2). Specialized Private School – We found a school which only admits children who are not quality for special education and don’t seem to fit the mainstream, such kids need extra help on certain areas, like minor sensor disorder, fine motor skill, programmatic language/social delay, etc. They don’t admit children who fall to the autism spectrum. From all that we hear, they are extremely adept at integrating the social/language therapy in the school environment. We also feel the teachers may better understand/appreciate children like our DS and would be better able to boost his self-esteem. Our primary concerns involve only one recess time a day,  the small size of the class, and whether he would find enough similar children to make friends. Its facilities are smaller than DS’s current school. The consultant of his social skill group recommend this school. I toured the school. But I didn’t feel the one kindergarten teacher was warm, she seemed a little harsh. The children there don’t seem very energetic and smiling. That’s only 10 minutes tour. I could get a wrong impression.

(3). Public School with IEP or 504 Plan - The teachers would have a lot of experience. Our concern is less recess time and a large class. But we like the neighborhood school feeling, it could be easier to arrange play dates, and easier for DS to meet some kids whom he can click with. We are concerned that the emphasis on academics may take away from our DS addressing his language deficits.  Our home school is one of the top elementary schools in our county. It's very academic oriented. The class size will be 1:25.

Sorry. It’s long. We look forward to any and all opinions. Thank you!!

YDY3Bao39954.4909490741That's a tough choice! But it's great that you have some good and different schools to choose from.
Here are a couple of thoughts:
. Have you considered waiting another year before starting kindergarten?? Or maybe you have already done this?? I just thought, based on your concerns about your son's language skills, ADHD, and social immaturity, maybe you would want to keep him in pre-K another year so that he has another year to mature and develop the language skills. If, however, you feel that he would be academically bored by another year of pre-K, then it wouldn't be a good idea.
. You expressed concern about the fact that your son hasn't yet made friends in school. Is he concerned about this or is he happy? I think some kids, and boys in particular, just aren't ready or concerned about developing friendships until they're a little older.
. Generally speaking, I believe in listening to your "gut feelings" when you check out schools, so the fact that the kindergarten teacher at the second school didn't seem warm and the kids didn't seem happy would count heavily to me. However, since you only got a 10-minute tour, I would make an appointment to sit in and observe classes, if at all possible. In fact I'd do this at all three schools if you haven't already. Then you'll have more of a chance to form an impression. Also, is the K teacher you saw the only K teacher at this school or are there others?
. Based on what you've said, I guess I would tend to lean toward the first school, the one he already attends, except for the fact that you're not completely happy with it now. He would have different teachers in K though, right? I would ask to observe the K teacher's class and also to meet with her (or them if there is more than one teacher) and ask questions about your concerns and how they would handle your son's issues.
Best of luck and let us know what you decide!