Waiting for doc apt. Can’t take any more
Twins + 1,
You know a lot of doctors dismiss children having bipolar. If you feel that that should be looked at, I would recommend another doctor. Children don't all of a sudden come down with bipolar, they have had it all along, just like adhd. Doctors also need to address the bipolar with meds first BEFORE medicating the adhd. ADhd meds will make bipolar worse.
Just a heads up - especially if meds are introduced and there is an underlying condition.
Please let us know if we can help!!
Twins + 1
You might also want to explore the food issues a little more also. I have "reactive hypoglycemia". Basically it's like my body produces too much insulin when I eat and it drives my blood sugar too low. Carbs/sugar make it SOOOO much worse because they are the foods that trigger more insulin. I just mention it because if I don't eat properly I become another person all together. I become totally and completely enraged. I thought of it when you mentioned that you always have to have snacks. I eat a diet hight in protein and low in carbs to help with this-If I ate pizza everyday I would be in a state of rage the whole time. Not enough protien for me. Don't know if this has anything to do with your son but it's something to think about...Good luck! It sounds like you have a very sweet son!
Thanks for your responses. It really helps to hear from people who have an understanding. My friends are GREAT,
I am really lucky - and they LOVE my son and give us lots of support, but they don't actually understand the intensity of it. Bethann, bipolar is something I asked his previous psych about and she dismissed it (although she didn't formally assess him for this). Silly thing, but I read once that bipolar kids crave carbs. And he does. He would eat (plain) pasta three meals a day if I'd let him.
He's very influenced by hunger so I almost always have to have a snack me. The anger has been rising over the years (and a friend who is a psychotherapist once told me that in her experience depression comes from anger, and I can see the link - he is depressed at times).
The mood swings are huge. I see him like Jekyll and Hyde. I never know who's going to come out of school in the afternoon. If it's been a good day, he'll all smiles. If it's a bad day, it's head down, run at mummy like a bull and throw school bag at her.
At school he can mostly keep it together now and only has occasional problems. He used to crawl in the table in kindy and be really angry but I was so LUCKY and he had a brilliant teacher who liked him and wanted to understand him. This has been the case with all his teachers and for that we are both very blessed. He was really fortunate to have a great teacher for two years (in a G&T class, so she's experienced in unusual kids) and that has been great.
They've put behaviour modification programs into his routines at school and they've really helped. I have always tried to be very open with them about our situation and they've been very supportive. His teacher in fact called me on this week, out of the blue, and was lovely. She gave me her cell phone number and told me to call her any time to chat, for advice, support or anything else.
He can be such a lovely, loving boy. He had TONS of friends and is extremely popular. The parents of the friends love him too, which is wonderful. He is excellent in most of their homes but the friend he's known best since kindy, well, he's raged in their house. The mother's son is an unusual child and she handles my child really well.
We've made great progress in the last few days. He and I had to drive his sisters somewhere and pick them up later. It gave us time in the car to have a talk. I opened the conversation with us not getting on very well at the moment... He agreed and said it didn't make him feel good. We talked about how we could be more patient with each other, speak more nicely, try to work out what we need/want before things get out of hand. He was lovely. He said he was so sorry and that he just can't help himself when he gets "like that".
Tomorrow I have an appointment with the school counsellor (partly about my LD daughter) and then with the principle. They've both very supportive and the principle has a relationship with the superb psych that I am waitlisted to see - so I'm hoping he'll try to pull a few strings on my behalf. I have the group where my LD daughter gets extra reading help looking into psych and family counselling to see if they can help and I am also waitlisted for a really good psych elsewhere, and where we can also do family counselling.
Today is a good day. THANK YOU ALL for your advice and support.
I think in the meantime you have to get radical. Take a few giant steps
back. Demanding that he behave correctly isn't working. So engage him
instead. Redirect him (works when they're toddlers!). Ask him why he's
doing/saying such things. That technique takes a lot of patience - when
you first try it your kid will think you're off your rocker or trying to trick
him. But my son does get in some nasty verbal cycles, they're almost like
tics he's so focused on the inappropriate behavior, but if he focuses on
why he's saying the things he's saying he can usually articulate it and we
can get to the bottom of it.
Another thing - kids get into bad behavior habits all the time. It sounds
like he wants your attention, and he's going to do whatever it takes.
Classic example from my son - when he started school this year he was
getting fidgety - he needed a motor break, and knew it, but couldn't
articulate it. He knocked a couple of crayons on the floor, and his teacher
told him to pick them up. He grabbed the box and with a grin on his face
dumped the whole box on the floor. And then he got exactly what he
needed - he was put into a conference room where he could concentrate
and he got his work done. His teacher thought he was the devil - and I
was completely nuts - until I explained to her that was the process he
had learned before he was having interventions, and he needed help
making new habits. This year was so much better than last when they
helped him make new habits that when I asked him if he went to the
principal he said they didn't "let him" do it anymore. The "discipline" was
a relief because he got out of his chaotic classroom and into a quieter
environment that was less distracting. The discipline didn't phase him at
all.
The counseling idea is a good one, because it will help you all recognize
the bad behavior habits he has and help you come up with new ways to
help him break them and make new ones.
Good luck!Your not alone! Mine does that to me every morning and he is 7! He steps it up to he wants me dead, he hates me, and cussing so bad!! Believe me I feel your pain!
How much can one person take (I know heaps of you on here have taken probably lots more than I have).Today I have been told "F*** you, mother******". I have been shown the middle finger. Called a bitch, a slapper, a stupid cow. HE IS NINE! I have been told I should go to my room "for once". He's told me that if he isn't allowed on the computer this evening (his currency) they he's going on all day tomorrow and there's "nothing you can do to stop me".
He sat in the car coming home from school saying "Crap crap crap crap..." repeatedly. I asked him to stop. "F***, f***, f***..." all the way home. He has hit his sister in the face this evening.
This is just what I've since i collected him from school at 4pm. It's now almost 7pm. He's apologised since. Then he took delight in showing me his cartooning book (from a class he attends this morning) and it has a really nasty picture of me in it. This is not the first time he's done pictures like this of me.
I don't know what I've done. I've always tried hard to be a good mum. He was the apple of my eye for the first two years of his life and then he got displaced by the arrival of his twin sisters. I did everything I possibly could to make him continue to be important. Gee, the girls were at a play centre within days of leaving the hospital.
I need some resilience but feel I am running out of my own resources to draw from.
Any history of bipolar? Any feedback from school - does he act like this during school time? what about friends at school? Is this only happening when he is with you, turning it on and off? or is he like there when at school, etc?
He sounds angry, depressed even, as well as still jealous of the twins.
When did this negative behavior start?
Sorry for the questions, just want to help you. 
Oh boy, my heart sure goes out to you because I know you love your son and your trying your best. All of the behaviors you describe are a serious cry for help . Your son has severe anger issues and there is an underlying reason. A certified specialist will be able to give you a definitive diagnosis and will recommend the treatment and tools you will need to help your child. Once you get a diagnosis I suggest, along with the doctors recommendations,(if the doctor doesn't suggest it) you get family counseling. A good therapist will help you understand your child's issues better and also will teach you how to implement a good behavior modification plan. As parents we need all the help we can get because its no joke living in constant chaos as a family unit. The child is suffering as well as the entire family. I wish we could be of more comfort and ease your pain but please take comfort in knowing that we do understand. When is the psych appointment? Hugs to you
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