anyone have luck w/reward system? | ADHD Information

I am trying a jar of money for my DS (9). I would take out the money if he says a swear word and he has lost some money so far and he does not seem to care he will just tell me to throw it all out then! we just started so I am not sure if I should still keep trying as rewards don't seem to work for him that much so any luck using this type of system or any other advice?  I am sick of his swearing (among other things he does!!)

 

Thanks

Marie DS 9  PDD/NOS, ADHD, ODC, SID, ODD

Money means absolutely nothing to my son. As a reward system, it would
not work.

You have to find what your son wants to earn, and have him earn it. For
example, he wants to see a movie this weekend. Talk to him about what
your expectations are, and listen to his input. Swearing could be a very
ingrained habit that he has to unlearn. All or nothing won't work - hence
wanting to chuck the whole jar.

Come up with a plan - the first weeks he gets two passes a day - the
third swear means a black mark for the day, two black marks in the week
means no movie. Remind him of the plan daily, multiple times a day. If
he starts getting worked up remind him of the plan and encourage him to
express himself in a better manner.

The next week come up with a new plan - he wants to go to the park with
a friend that weekend, okay, 1 pass per day, 2 days exceeding that mark
he loses the privileges.

Don't automatically step up his requirements. It's okay to go back a bit -
if he has an important and stressful week, he might need to be
temporarily eased up on. Take those changes into account and adapt the
plan.

If he's invested in it - he comes up with the reward - he will want to
reach the goal. If he thinks you're being fair - you adjust his
requirements based on his life - he will want to please you. If you are
committed to the plan - by making sure you keep up your end of the
agreement - he will be committed to the plan.

It worked like night and day with my son. The key was involving him in
the agreement, and making it adaptable helped, too. It took some
commitment, and it started slow because he had to learn to trust me that
I would follow the agreement, but it turned out to be an excellent tool to
help my son improve his behavior.

Good luck!Oh yeah, one more thing - when you do this take on only one behavior you
want to change at a time. Once you get going and he understands the
process you can get him to work on a new habit as often as once a month.
But all your efforts should be going into changing the one habit at a time. If
something comes up, like a crisis or illness, then completely suspend the
plan until that is resolved and start over.

wow! thank you soo much!! I do feel like his swearing is a habit now. he will say it under his breath or just playing alone or laughing. Not only when just mad at something.

 

I thank you for your post.

 

Marie

Let us know how it works out for you!We do a play money reward system. Being that my son is younger, we are
addressing other issues like pottying problems, self help like dressing etc.
He has a cashbox and i made pretend dollars for it. Everytime he earns a
dollar i give him one and he puts it in there or ill do it if he doesnt want
to. The dollars he earns can be used to 'purchase' items from 'mommys
store'. So he wants a boomerang, a jack in the box and a bubble maker.
So I make a card for each. The boomerang is 5 dollars, the jack in the
box is 12 and the bubble maker is 16. He would tell me what he wants
and ill tell him that he needs to check his bank if he has enough. If he
doesnt have enough for what he wants he will try to do something good
to make the money.

I do only use it for certain things. Too many things to earn it for gets
confusing. So lately he gets a dollar for taking his meds at camp with no
problems all week (i know e will earn this one so its an easy one),
pooping without any assistance, coming home with no accidents every
day.

So far, he is only earnig one dollar for taking his meds, but i know he
really wants the items and i know he is trying. Once in awhile ill throw in
an extra 'if you do X then you can earn an extra dollar' He gets really
excited about it.

I try to make the items 'cheap' enough that he can earn them fairly
quickly, like maybe 1 a week or every other week. We just changed from
daily routines to camp necessities because its been rough.

If the dollars dont work as much, i will add an immediate reward when he
earns a dollar like a piece of bubble gum or extra cookie or something i
know he loves. We have been doing it for a few months and its still
working for us.