parents who have a graduate & ther | ADHD Information

I have a son who will be graduating in 2010, but he does not have ADHD. It is my daughter, who will be going into 8th grade who has ADHD.
However since we are looking into colleges and thinking about college for my son, it has also made me think about my daughter graduating in 5 years. I know those years will fly by and I must admit I have fears about her going off to college and how she will manage on her own too. Of course I don't know how she will grow and develop in the coming years. Right now she thinks she would love to go to one of the big cites on one of the coasts, or even to a foreign country. I'm thinking maybe community college might be a good place to start, or at least one of our state public universities, but we'll see. Of course I want her do the very best she can!
 I think Corrina has good advice, and I don't really have any. The only other idea I had was that I would bet that colleges and universities have some resources in place for those with learning disabilities and/or ADHD, so I would do some research and find out what's available (in fact I might start looking into that now too!) Maybe they have counselors or some type of person who your son could touch base with and who could help him with organization or any other issues that come up.
Best of luck. Let us know how his college plans go!
kosherd, I'm sending you a PM with a link to a site that is all about college admissions and going to college. It has a forum specifically about learning disabilities and ADHD. I don't have a child graduating, just for full disclosure.

But I've taught them. And they basically go in two directions - those who
give into ADHD and those who pay attention to what they need to do to
succeed.

Think about the qualities of an ADHDer - creativity, ability to multitask (to
extremes!), ability to hyperfocus, passion, enthusiasm, energy. The
"symptoms" of ADHD are the qualities of the world's most successful
adults!

The key is to 1) organize their lives so they can prioritize and 2) filter their
energy so they direct it toward positive means.

If I were you I would have a frank discussion with my child. I would
admit my fears, and outline exactly what I think is going to happen, which
is that my child would use the positive aspects of their ADHD to make the
best life possible.

Find out what your son's fears are and help him find solutions for them.
If it's organization, help him come up with a plan for executive skills. If
it's impulsivity, help him learn relaxation techniques to counteract them.
Help him predict what will happen so he has a heads up to this massive
transition in his life.

He's an adult now. Empower him to look out for himself and find help
when he needs it. And let him know you will always support him and will
be there if he needs help even though he's on his own.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

hi, just wanting to talk to other moms or familys  that may have a son or daughter who is set to graduate next school year 2010 or maybe who has alreay graduated.  and what there plans are as far as there independence. our son  wants to go to college and be as independent as possiable. but i'm having a hard time with this is anybody else in the same boat, just curious as to others and there plans. and dont get us wrong we do want this as well for him i just don't think his maturaty level is there yet to be independant and self suficiante on his own. any comments would be great.

If your son wants to go to college have him register with the office of disability at the college so that he can take advantage of support services. If your son doesn't have an IEP to submit, have he get a letter front he doctor stating he has adhd. The disability office requires proof of the disability before providing services. That's how it is in my state anyway so find out what documentation is required. There is a 30% maturity lag but that's not what really holds the student back. Lack of effective treatment as well as lack of support services make the struggles tenfold. The ability to focus and be able to meet ones full potential then makes the maturity issue a non issue.

Effective treatment and good support services will certainly increase the odds of success. Effective treatment unlocks potential and as a result of that support services work even better.  Been there with my son so the approach you take as a parent with a young adult in terms of school issues is way different than the approach you take with a child. Good luck and as always, you will find great support here

thanks so much, corrina and inspiredbymusic i will check out the sites you have pointed out and i also have had a couple of frank talks w/our son and most of the time he gets teary eyed, and say's he just doesnt no, he say's he is scared and as we told him we are as well but we do  focus on the positives of ur disabilities and just continue w/behavior therapy and counsleing for the ocd,odd and pdd/nos as we have been. we just want the very best for him as well as r other children. it just so darn scary as he is such a sweet young man and the real world is not a very nice place sometimes.

I agree with all adivce given above and would add.....

Small is Beautiful!

In colleges, that is...  it can be nearby or on the opposite coast; I don't think locational issues hold a candle to the size of the school.

I also suggest that you talk to a person (preferably the director) of the school's office responsible for providing support to students with ADHD for the purpose of making sure they understand and accept ADHD as a legit disorder (I recently found out that the University in my state has counseling staff who believe ADHD is not a legit disorder!).

I went to a university that was too large for me--I was just another "name" on papers to grade; I needed interaction, recognition and appreciation from my instructors (though at the time I wouldn't have admitted it) of which I got none.  I would've dropped out 'cept for the fact I would've been sent to fight in Vietnam; I squeaked by with a C average which hardly reflected my potential.   More than guidance and counseling, we need an environment that is supportive, which in most cases means a university or college (or a smaller school or specialty within a larger school) small enough so that students and faculty know each other and where faculty recognize and reward individual students for their effort.

ps... if your son gets teary talking about this stuff (leaving home for school) then I suggest you need to really make sure he knows how much you believe in him and his ability to know what to do (either on his own or when to ask for help).  You need to build  his self confidence, which can only be done if you have confidence in him! 
Hi,
There is a lot of good advice above so I won't repeat it.
I have a son who graduated high school two years ago. He's ADHD gifted LDs dysgraphia and is doing well at a small college.  I had the same concerns as you wondering if he will have all the independent living skills necessary by the time he was to leave home. Starting in high school, I was concerned whether or not he could pull it together to successfully live away from home. Each year in high school I selected a couple of independent living goals for him to reach by the end of the school year.  the two he didn't reach were remembering to take his meds and being able to wake up to an alarm in the morning. They say experience is the best teacher and that is how he learned a lot of independent skills. Because his college had pass fail for the first semester, he tried doing it without accommodations.  Next semester he requested accommodations for extra time on tests. It wasn't until sophomore year that he was ready to meet weekly with a counsellor for time management.  Later in the year he was ready to forego the counsellor.  So far so good. He works exceptionally hard and it takes him longer to do his work than it does for the other students.  He is finally understanding how adhd impacts his life and what he needs to do to be successful. I've got a lot of articles related to prepping for college for adhders which i could post if you are interested.