my 6 year old son | ADHD Information

i love my son so much.  i am a single father of a 6 year old boy who has some serious adhd problems.  he has been treated for about 7 months with aderall ( i cant spell. ) xr 25mg.  sometimes i just cry at night cause of the frustration and some of the stuff i am missing from him.  i know he cant help it and i know he loves me i am all he has and i am all he has known since he was 18 months old.  as a dad i couldnt be happier to have such a gift.  it breaks my heart what i go through everyday all the fighting, back talk, noises, the torment, the faces he makes in the rear view mirror the hour and half it takes to eat dinner cause they have to eat to stay on the meds.  i wish my son didnt suffer. i have to keep him in line and correct when i have to and i have to be the one who loves him also and i promise all who comes across this i love my son more than anything in this world. i feel guilty some nights like tonight i usually spend it on his floor watching him sleep why i cry and rub his head. it makes me feel better when i am done.  just on to repeat the routine tomorrow.  i dont want him to grow up to be a trouble maker, punk, bum, or anything bad cause he cant help what he has and thats what hurts me the worse.  he dosent have anyone to play with i try to work as a loan officer so i am self employed no insurance it runs out this month cause i made to much and now i cant get him into therapist which was months out anyway.  i am not on any meds i dont want any i take some xanax 2 times a week cause i like to crash but thats it.  i just want my son to know i love him and that his dad spends everynight praying to the man above for strength and forgiveness and i ask him to bless my son for he cant help this either.  there are times where my son has normal hours and he will come up to me and say he is sorry which just crushes me when i ask what he is sorry for and he says not sitting still or for making noises.  there are lots of times i cant hold my feelings back and i cry in front of him and he will hug me i hope this dont scare him.  before school started i would wake him up about 2am and we would what he called have a party in the bed which included dry cereal and a disney movie just cause he was calm and we could be together with out this taking over his life. he was and still is if i woke him an angel.  he still is my angel no matter what it was just nice to love on him and him love me back.  i wish my son could understand now how i feel i want him to know how i feel and how he has made my life better no matter what i go through.  i remember working a regular job 8-4 i coudlnt wait to get off just to go get him from the home daycare he was at.  now i am self employed i can wake up with him and cook breakfast and do what we do everyday play and fight.  he starts first grade so hell go all day to school i am not looking forward to it even though i might need a break i dont want one.  i worry so much of passing away and leaving my son here.  i never want to be apart especially living are days like this.  i try hard to teach him so he can have a better life than we have and hope he just end up in prision or on drugs or both.  i was no angel i partied went to college partied more and finally moved away and grew up and had my boy.  from that day he was born i was changed for life i didnt sleep for 3 days from the rush of having my first and so far my only little boy. his mom cheated and left at 18 months 2 weeks before christmas.  one should have been sad i worked with her and the guy at the time but i was overly powered by what i had to do and who i had to do it for.  she has moved far away and hasnt seen him in a few years.  he dont know the difference at least i dont think so he has only known him and i.  one day i want to write something like this and leave it for him to read and understand and i want him to know how much i love him and how sorry i was for the mistakes i did make.  i am so proud of you son for bringing a love into my life i never knew existed you have taught me so much about myself you will always be my little boy. i am only 32 and i worry about dieing leaving him wondering if he will remember the good or the bad. i promise to him that i will never leave his side i love you bubba.  i am sorry.iamsad39982.0252662037

I feel so bad reading your post. You sound so depressed. In order to take care of your son you need to take care of yourself. Please take care of yourself, he needs you.

It honestly isn't that bad once everything is in place. Just make sure you have the correct diagnosis and then have him on the correct medication and doseage. CAn his mother cover him on insurance? Does she help support her son?

I would honestly make sure he is evaluated correctly and if the adderall is doing what it should be. If he is still being impulsive and doing things he shouldn't then I feel the diagnosis and medication needs to be "revisited" I would also get his mother involved in this. Why does she get a free pass on this. Is she involved in his life?

How about school, he is 6 - does he have friends in school yet? There are places to go for the summer for social interaction as well. What are your plans together? What about school, is he being supported by teachers and staff there?

Sorry for the questions, just want to be able to offer the best help that I can.

hang in there, we are here for you two!!

It sounds to me like his medication isn't working as well as it should. I'd
take him in to get it adjusted.

As far as insurance - he should be eligible for state insurance once yours
runs out. That would cover doctor visits and medications, and could
cover therapy as well.

The good news is you have a lot of time to help him get on the right
track. It is really hard - we know how bad it can be. But it's so worth it!

Who is in your social group? Are you near family? You need to be around
adults from time to time so you don't get too caught up.

Best of luck!

First of all it sounds like your son is VERY lucky to have a father like you! Second, you are among friends here.  I would bet that most of us have experienced a lot of what you are experiencing. 

It was not that long ago that I too would sit and watch my son and just cry.  Cry because I love him so much but there were many times I didn't like him and I just couldn't help him.  I would cry because these are times that I know will never come again and I will not have fond memories of a lot of it and I doubt he will either. 

But then...medicine entered our lives.  I have to say that the right diagnosis and proper mixture of medication has COMPLETELY changed my son's life! (and ours too!) It has taken us 6 months of pretty rocky trial and error with medications to get it right but I think we've finally gotten it.  I just hope it stays!

I agree with Corrina that it sounds like you should be eligible for government assistance.  The most important thing is that he get the proper evaluations and diagnosis.  If it is truly ADHD then the right medication should help.  My son was on Adderall at 1st also and it didn't work well for him either.  It made him over emotional and he had horrible rebound when each dose wore off before the next one kicked in. 

Please hang in there!  It sounds like you're doing a great job-you just need some help.  We can't always do it on our own!

Good luck and keep us posted.