New relationship with ADHD person | ADHD Information

Hi Everyone, Hope someone can help me. I am in a new relationship with a man that has ADHD. This is all very new to me and would appreciate any advice or tips on how to be in a relationship with him. I guess my biggest fear is how do we keep the relationship alive without it becoming boring to him. I don't exactly know what to expect and I understand that this relationship may be difficult at times and I do not want this relationship to fail. I want it to be successful for us. Thank you. Rose

I was in a serious relationship with a guy who has ADD (he was diagnosed as a child - not taking medication cause he hated how Ritalin made him feel like a "zombie"). We dated for two years. Long story short...

Dated for two years, I picked up on his ADD within a week and just struggled to deal with his inattention, hyperactivity, etc. I fell for him hard so it was difficult to let him go when I thought things just weren't going to work out.

Eventually though we reached a boiling point because we were both under a lot of stress - finishing college, working full-time, school group obligations, friends & family obligations - just too much going on for a couple of ADDults, ya know? I wasn't diagnosed yet but I was in therapy trying to figure out why I couldn't get a handle on things like other "normal" people.

We broke up and stayed apart for a year but are now back together. During the time apart I have dealt with my symptoms, learned more about AD/HD, and he's done his own growing. I'm on medication and he's seen how much it's helped me so he's thisclose to going back to the doctor for a re-evaluation and treatment.

I'm scared because sometimes I get really angry at him for forgetting important things and making promises he can't keep and a ton of other stuff that goes along with the condition.

The best solution I've come up with is preventative measures. I don't ask him to make plans until the day of because it just doesn't work to plan ahead. If it's something I really want to do and need to know ahead of time, I'll ask if he's interested and remind him daily about it until the day of. If he isn't interested or forgets, I have a back-up person to hang out with instead.

Also, when he makes big promises (he said he was planning a BIG new year's and was saving 00 for it) I tell him it's not necessary and we'll just wait and see what happens. That way I don't get upset when he doesn't follow through.

I look forward to him going for treatment. Should improve things but at least I know enough about it to be more understanding and patient.

Jen

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