dealing with adhd at church | ADHD Information

That was my ds at 5 (he is turning 9 in a few weeks). I had to find a
church with at nursery or quiet room. Church was hard until we started
medication.

Short term, for the baptism, you need to assign a babysitter or other
relative to take care specifically of your son. Have him or her play with
him outside until he needs to be there for the baptism. Bring
headphones with an ipod. Something that will keep his attention quietly.
I would talk to him before about what is going on at church and what you
expect of him. Tell him of a reward if he is good at church. I would
definitely have someone that is watching him the whole time and tell
him/her to leave with him if things get too much for him. You need to
concentrate on your baby's baptism.

It's tough. I have been there. There were many times that I either didn't
bring him to church or left the mass early. In the future, you might start
by going to church for part of the mass and see how it goes. Sit in the
back of the church. Extend your time gradually depending on his
behavior. Use some type of reward system. As he gets older, it should
gradually get better.

We used to always bring a portable dvd player with us to restaurants
(family friendly ones). That would keep his attention while we ate.

Hang in there, it will get easier.

Hi :

As a catholic mother of 2 ADD sons and former DRE I so admire your efforts.  You need to both get through the baptism and have your son not meltdown.  I agree that the mass plus baptismal service is just too much.  I like the idea of having someone for your son.  If you see that he has reached his maximum have the sitter  take him out.  My best success in church participation for an ADD child came at the Baptist Church who run a program called AWANA.  It is built on some play time, and a lot of 1-1 time with an adult who guides them thru "the lesson". use of rewards and group prayer time.  It was wonderful.

Best wishes

Bobbie

There are definitly places our family does not go to like the library, quiet places like sec. of state and least of all church.

I'd LOVE to take my child to the library.  They have excellent programs there and story times and activites but he is way to impulsive and distracting and loud that after a few times (and some nasty looks) we stopped.

I am totally stressing about church.  We dont ever go.  Last time we went my son was a ring boy for a wedding and I was stressing about this for almost a year before the wedding!  I went and bought him some special, quiet, new toys for church that wouldn't be to distracting but this did not make one bit of diff.  That was almost 2 years ago.  Not much has changed since then.  He is still pretty hyper and impulsive.  We are going to baptize our newest addition in october.  The mass is from 12 till 1:15 and then the actual baptism takes place.  This is a VERY long time for my son to be at church.  I laugh when people tell me to just bring a coloring book and crayons or a good book to read.  They OBVIOUSLY have no idea what we go through with his adhd.  Coloring=punishment for my son.  He hates to color  (he's 5 btw). 

Do any of you have any suggestions??

The only things that would keep my son still is music, or movies which are obviously a no no at church.

 

Does your church have a side room for kids?  Some churches have a "baby room" for kids with large windows so they can still see what's going on in the main church but it's closed off so the noise doesn't bother the people in the main area.

If there is no room available- then if your son is anything like my son, there is no way he would be able to sit for over an hour and not be disruptive.  It would actually be unfair to ask that of him.  My son, without medication, is just NOT capable of doing that.  You will probably be better off finding a sitter.  You will enjoy it much more (and so will he!)

Good luck and congrats on the new family addition!

Oh and btw, my son feels the same way about coloring!

Could you possibly take him out until he needs to be there for the baptism.

We have a six year old (ADHD) and a 3 year old who are both pretty active in church.

Many times my husband or I will just walk with the boys, especially during the sermon, in the hallways.  It is a lot to expect them to sit for that long.

Do you have any lift the flap books or books for him to put stickers on to keep him a little busy for at least during the baptism?

Baptisms are a pretty big deal and you still have time to talk to him and try to help him with at leasting being good for the baptism.  To expect him to be good for the rest of the service is asking a lot of any 5 year old.

My son is 6.  We used to go to church all the time--and then we moved a few years ago and have had trouble finding a new church that is accepting and accomodating of our needs.  My son has ADHD and sensory dysfunctions.  He doesn't like loud--the music at church sends him face first into the pew--with his thumbs in his ears---or standing, hands over his ears, saying...it's too loud--when is it going to be over!...and we had a children's church program which takes the kids out abot 10 minutes or so into the service.  Sometimes we just stick it out and one of us will take him out while the songs are being sung.  But when we go back to visit at our old church, he just goes in the nursery to play until children's church.  They know and understand my son and are willing to let him play in there even though he's too old....other churches aren't so understanding..

Maybe you can come up with someone for him and then bring him in for the baptism--or maybe you can start taking him for small amounts of time and work your way up to the entire time...

From someone who grew up in the catholic church-mass can be boring and repetitive to any child...coloring books and crayons may not work--but perhaps--for this special time--he could be told why y'all are going and take the tools for him to make a card or booklet for the newest addition--with stickers and pencils and maybe some precut shape and scotch tape-my son loves to have a notebook and pencil and such...but hates to color--so maybe just a different medium will help.

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< =text/>_popupControl(); We do something that I'm sure lots of people roll their eyes about. It would bother me if I cared, but I just remind myself that I can't help their unChristian attitude (casting the first stone and all that) and pray that they would see that my child isn't "bad" and open their hearts to him.  We take ....the Gameboy!! Gasp!  I truly believe that, for children, the process of going to church is what's important, not diligently focussing on the message. If truth be told, I bet that if we could listen to the adults' thoughts during the service, more than a few would be thinking about ________(insert: football, grocery shopping, what the person in front of them is wearing, etc.)  instead of what the officiant is saying. Lots of times the message can be confusing for kids, anyway.

We do have a few rules, though: sound is OFF, when it's time to stand you must also stand, you must shake hands, you must go forward for the children's sermon, you must sing.

If this baptism is for your family, is there something he can be responsible for that  he might get excited about or interested about? Maybe if you find him a job to do (hold a towel to wipe the baby's head, take pictures with a disposable camera, be the pacifier keeper, etc.) he'll be okay. If he's not, that's okay, too. It wasn't too long ago that HE got baptised.

My son isn't into coloring, drawing, writing, reading, etc., so that has never worked for us. I have always let him bring something that he can manipulate like legos or a twisty type toy that can be changed into many different shapes. If he doesn't have anything with him  I will let him take a page of the church bulletin and fold it (origami like) into whatever he likes. Being a boy he often makes it into spears and swords etc. Like BPQW, I've stopped worrying about what everyone else in church thinks. As long as he is being relatively quiet and not disrupting the services I am happy.

My son also has sensory issues. They have gotten better over the years. I used to cover his ears with my hands when the music was too loud. I have had to change pews many times because someone close by had, to his senses, too much perfume, cologne or deodorant on. Medication has helped tremendously.

I hope all goes well for you and your family at the Baptism.

My son (9 yo) was often a problem until he was about 5 or 6.  We started a reward system (bribe).  If he was quiet and still in church he would get a cookie or ice cream afterwards.  It worked some of the time.  We also spent alot of time in the cry room but he hated that so it was like punishment. He also hates coloring but likes to draw with pen so I bought some small pads of paper for him to draw on.  We tried the nursery but that only worked when the older lady was watching him since she had had adhd kids (they called them hyper then).  Anyway, we tried everything and now even without meds he can sit for an hour.  (he hates it of course)

 

Good luck,

 

L.

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