Hi all, i am new to this site and i need to have a vent and hopefully get some help!
My 5 year old son has always been a challenge, He is highly intelligent but has absolutely no common sense! Seriously if someone told him to lay on the road and wait for a truck to run him over so he could tell them what it felt like he would!!!
His behavior has always been somewhat challenging but nothing like it has since he started "BIG SCHOOL"! After just a few weeks at school his very rude and misguided teacher rang me to tell me she thinks my son is autistic! i was horrified! how could i not have noticed! How could his kindy not have noticed! After speaking to her further about it it seamed that all of her reasons for believing he was autistic were outrageous! She said he was autistic cause he believes in ghosts and talks to people that arent there!!! Mind you one of his "IMAGINARY" friends was actually his best friend who passed away a year before hand! Who is she to tell me he is autistic because of his beliefs! GRRRRRRR!
So any way after alot of trouble from the school i had him assessed by a child Psychologist who said he is definately not Autistic (DAH!) but that he most likely has ADD.
I gave the full reprt to the teacher and read 3 books on ADD and i too think he has it. The stupid teacher then tells me that he is too dificult to handle in a mainstream class and needs to be moved to a "Special" school!!! WTF!!!!!! i told her there are hundreds of kids with ADD that are in "normal" classes and he will be no different! My son now has to see a pediatrician so that he can be medicated and i have begged them for an emergency appointment and so is in a week but still that is not good enough for the school! Every day he gets a note sent home about his "BAD" behaviour she even had the hide to tell me that he chooses this behaviour and that it is not ADD making him act this way! He has few friends at school and is continually getting bullied plus he keeps getting held in at recess and lunch so has no oportunity to release his energy and then gets in more trouble for not sitting still and being quiet in the afternoon!
I am doing everything i can to help the teacher out! i go up to the school and help out in class, when jordan is having problems they call me and i go and settle him, i am using the same reward system at home as at school and i am very routine but nothing seems to work!
I honestly dont know what else to do! Every day not only do i have to stress about Jordans behaviour but i also have the school on my back about my "NAUGHTY" child!!! It is heart breaking and i cant make them understand that is not all his fault!! and that i am doing everything i can and they act like i just dont care and am doing nothing!!!
My once happy little boy is sad all the time and says his teacher hates him and he does not understand why he gets in big trouble all the time but other kids (even the one that beat him up in front of me!!!) just get spoken to!!!
Its just crazy and i cant wait till this appointment next week! think ill pull my hair out by then!
I am so sorry for all you are going through, I honestly cry with you!
I have walked in your shoes, honestly. My son too suffered in school. He was labeled and bullied. I was a stay at home mom and was all over the school to stop everything. My husband was ontop of everything when something happened TO our son. Our principal at the time was pathetic!!
Once we medicated him, which took a while to find the right med and the right dose, things were better for him. We still had incidents but made sure the school was notified and they did something about it!!
Unfortunatley the labeling and bullied continued, but he has shaken a lot of it off finally with the help of his middle school principal. I honestly believe that the principal may too have suffered as a student. He is just so on top of bullying and a honest to goodness NO TOLERANCE police. The principal truly follows it!! 
and makes sure the students do to or they are in severe trouble!!
Hang in there for your appointment. It does sound like my adhd son. He is very hyper and impulsive but it is all under control with his meds.
Your son can be happy and successful again, just hang in there for a little bit longer.
I honestly don't think I would want my son in this school where teachers call out diagnosis when they aren't even doctors.
Can you move him to another school and let him "start all over?" I would honestly look into that. He has been through TOO much in a short time!!
Please keep us update to how you all are doing!!
Is it possible your child is gifted?
Children who are gifted are often misdiagnosed as having ADHD. A lot of them simply have both (my son is one of them). The issues you are dealing with may have a lot to do with giftedness and if that's the case, many of the issues coul dpossibly go away in a program dedicated to gifted children.
My son is in a school for gifted children, and he amazingly well while at school. They completely understand him, know how to guide him, allow his to move, jump, run, lie down, etc in the classroom. We could not have found a better school. Home life is a different matter altogether, and we are trying to get a handle on it.
Thank you both for your replies!Things got even better today when he was SUSPENDED from school!!!! GRRRRRR!!!!!
Yes we have looked at moving him and will be taking him to a new school for a fresh start once we see the pediatrician so he can start with a clean slate!
He has also had his IQ score done and yes he is gifted! Not that the school gets it! But the psychologist that did his testing said that She believes he also has ADD. I have searched for a school with a gifted class and there are none in our area which sucks!
Will keep you updated and thank you once again for your replies!
Still just wish i had a magic wand!
What did he do to deserve suspension? Especially when others are hitting him!! What is wrong with this school. He is only 5!! Did you meet with them yet??
I honestly do believe he has adhd from what you have described AND so don't you. Mother's know. I diagnosed my own son when he was 2 1/2, just from reading about it. My son fit the criteria. And here we are today.
I am really pissed off at this "school". Unless he is hurting himself and others, or is a threat to others, etc., I think more could be done to accommodate YOUR SON. He needs to be taught, he needs to go to school. He is NOT a bad child, but I bet he is bored there. Heck he is probably smarter than this so called teacher!!
hang in there, we are here when you need us. There are so many mothers here that are living your life - you are so not alone.
I wonder if when he gets the diagnosis and we start to take action on helping him help himself, if we can get him into a private school that will help him academically, as well as keep an eye on other things? I hope.
Your son is totally bored at his school. That may be getting in his way there. He also needs to get away from the labeling AND the bullying. He really needs that fresh start, so don't you!! I am so glad that you are going to be doing that for him
Keep us updated with everything.
I had a meeting with the principal of his school and have decided together to send Jordan to the behavior centre where they do normal school work plus behavior training 4 days a week for the next three weeks.
I saw the pediatrician today and feel very relieved to have someone listen and believe what i was saying rather than think i am just making excuses for his behavior.
He said we need to get him on CLONIDINE first to get him sleeping properly and then start him on a stimulant. He is seeing Jordan in a week so i should have some more news for you then!
He had a great day in his new class of six kids and even came home with a merit award!
Your post sounded great. It sounds like you are getting things going on the right track for your child. I am happy the doctor is working on you. Sleep is important. If we don't sleep, we can't function - adhd or NO adhd - sleep deprivation is the worst!
I ams so thrilled to read that he came home from his new school with a positive reward of merit. That is going to help his self esteem tremendously!!
Please keep us posted younghipmumma (love the name!!)
Hi there. I have a 6yo son who also is ADHD and gifted (tested in kindergarten at age 5). Having the gifted piece just brings out a whole new level of angst. You will find yourself constantly debating whether a behavior is your child's personality, the gifted part or ADHD -- especially when they are identified so young. I suggest going to your library and reading some books on gifted children. It definitely helps! They talk about a lot of personality traits common in gifted kids, such as stubborness, perfectionism, boredom (and thus acting out), etc. Another good resource is SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted). As Andarah said, gifted kids often are misdiagnosed as ADHD, Aspergers, etc. We're constantly in this debate mode ourselves!
We don't have the benefit of having any gifted schools in our area, but we do have good teachers this year (as opposed to last year) who are working with us. You definitely will have to be your child's advocate. We're still learning ourselves, so good luck to you!
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