not doing homework and lying about it | ADHD Information

If I were you I would try to set up a communication system with his teacher so that the opportunity to lie about homework is eliminated. If they use an agenda in class (like you mentioned) this could simply mean having the teacher sign his agenda at the end of each day before he goes home, indicating that he has written down the correct homework. Then you sign the agenda at night indicating that he brought it home and completed the homework. This arrangement could even be written into a 504 plan or IEP if he has one (and if he doesn't, this might be a good reason to get one).
Then you go through the backpack and read the agenda and sit with your son if you need to and make sure he does the homework.
That way there is no lying, no incomplete homework, and no consequences or punishment (which, like you said, aren't working anyway). Everything is done as it should be and your son develops the habit of working responsibly.
A couple of other thoughts:
If he is gifted, it could be that the homework is just very mundane and repetitive for him, so maybe being identified as gifted would help. I know, though, that you also said he falls apart when the work is more challenging, so I can understand your confusion on this issue.
You also mentioned that most of his issues are with writing assignments even though he's good at them. It seems like a lot of kids struggle with writing. Writing is such a complex process of coordinating generating ideas, putting those ideas into words, using correct grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, and spelling, and just the physical process of writing. It could be that the focus and sustained mental effort required by writing is very difficult for your son. Also, how's his actual physical handwriting? It seems that for a lot of kids, especially very bright kids with ADHD, their thoughts go SO much faster than their writing that it's very frustrating for them. For a while when my son was young, I used to let him dictate to me. I would write down what he said, and then he would copy it. Typing, if allowed, can be helpful too.
Best of luck!

I was having the same problem. Now each of my daughter's teachers sign her agenda every day and I also sign it. Also, her teacher and i email each other quite frequently. She emails me when my daughter is having a bad day, when she doesn't have homework done, when tests are coming up, and when she had a great day. I check her agenda everyday when I pick her up from school before we leave the school parking lot. That way if she forgot anything (which is quite often), she can run back in the school and get it.

It's a pain in the butt, but its what I have to do to keep on top of things.

Does anyone have any experience with their children suddenly not doing their homework and lying about it?

My son, 9 1/2 in fourth grade, ADHD and very bright started half way through 3rd grade not doing his homework, or part of it. Mostly he wouldn't write the assignment in the agenda (so I wouldn't know) and then lie saying the teacher didn't give him any. I became very sick for about 3-4 months with ended up having heart surgery so I wasn't around to keep on him but apparently he did ok during that time. Then when I was back and healthy he slowly started not doing homework again or at least he wasn't doing it every day.

A lot of what he doesn't do are his writing assignments - sometimes even in class he refused to write when everyone had 15 minutes to write. He did improve somewhat last year after the battle of the wills BUT he is in the 2nd week of fourth grade and for more than half that time he has lied about having homework and didn't do it and lied to us and the teachers about it.

He is very bright. His reading level at the end of 3rd grade was 2 grade levels above. His math skills are also near the top. When he does write - he is really good. His Scores were very high in the state testing. We are having him tested for gifted - he didn't qualify before when we had him tested in 2nd grade but that was before medication. But my concern if is is gifted the motivation to do homework will not improve. When homework is slightly challange he falls apart but most of the time he says the homework is easy. And that he just didn't want to do it. How can you argue with that - homework sucks but it is a responsibility that he and every other students has so it needs to be done.

We have tried all sorts of consquences, limiting TV and video games, earlier bedtime. Also, we praise him when he does the homework. Lying in our house is the worst you can do but he still does it.

HELP!!!!!

 

Thanks:

Except for yesterday, he didn't take his meds and the schoolday and aftercare were not good ones, his teacher and I have communicated like you all said. He has written in the assignment ahead of time (3 days) since it is the same everynight - writing (yikes) and reading (yippy). He didn't do his homework yesterday in aftercare but being off meds - there would have been no way.

I took him to see the doctor again who is recommending either a high dosage and or supplement afternoon meds. He also said the lying and not doing homework is classic ODD. Which my son had big time before meds so increasing dosage may work but I just hate doing that. I am going to hold off for a few weeks to see if this could be an adjustment period for school. He also recommended melatonin for him. Everynight he wants me to stay with him and he pleads. I usually don't b/c I want him to go to bed when it is his bedtime. The dr said he may be having sleeping issues and not getting enough.

Off to the health food store..