Crying tonight | ADHD Information

funny you mention that. We gave our son an electric toothbrush so that all he had to do was hold it in his mouth, essentially and let it do the work but lately, he has gone back to using his regular toothbrush. He told hubby that he was saving the batteries!!!!

< =text/>_popupControl(); longsally,

As I read through this thread I got more and more sad. One thing especially made me sad:

Consequences are no skateboarding, removal of bicycle, removal of tv, telling karate instructor about behavior, earlier bed time, tc.....

IMO, instead of so many consequences, what about even more rewards? When we pile consequences on top of each other, the weight of them can actually act as a deterrent to success for our kids. Success becomes something they can't see because of the deep hole they've dug themselves into. I feel for you, I really do, and you've probably tried so many things, but I just think that something else needs to be done instead of negative consequences. Maybe it's time to let the pressure-release valve pop and take a huge time-out. If you can, maybe take him out of school, go on vacation, let him eat junk food for breakfast, make a concerted effort for there to be a sustained period of time where it's all about "yes" instead of "no." Wipe the slate clean and start a new history. I wish you all the best. I hope you find an answer.

[QUOTE=BPQW]

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[/QUOTE] Ditto! It's not easy, but if you can find a way to shift the focus from the negative to the positive, I believe the positives will increase. Best of luck!
well, I can say that I just finished the book called Children, the challenge and found it to be invaluable. My son is playing after school now and he just brought home 3 tests from this week, 100,100 and 97. We lavished the praise on him. I am still keeping the appointment with the child psychologist tomorrow and he is still being reevaluated.

Those are for you Longsally because of what you have done for your son. Now look at the progress he has made! Keep up the good work.

And I agree, keep the appointment, but mention this to the doc!!

longsally,
that's great that you have an appointment on tuesday. i wish you the best of luck.
be sure to include some type of positive reinforcers (verbal, tangible, points etc) for on task behavior. really search for the good things to compliment so that there are more positive comments than negative ones.
on the tooth brushing, we gave my son an electric toothbrush since he was not attentive enough to do a good job with the regular brush.

best wishes!

I feel for you completely! Maybe it will help if you know my story...

I was very much like your son. At the age of 7 I was scattered, picked on my two younger sisters until they still won't talk to me decades later.

I have very vivid memories of hearing my parents cry at night, talking about whether or not they should give me up to foster care because they couldn't handle me. Those were very trying times for everyone.

This was 35 years ago and there was no real diagnosis of ADHD in the world. Hyperactive they knew but didn't know what to do beyond label it. Spanking was the treatment at the time with as we well know limited success.

What really helped me (and my parents) survive from age 8 onward was my finding a mentor in my cousin. David was 17 and to me fascinating and totally cool. He would share his thoughts, his advice and his books and became very close to me at a time of need. My parents would often ransom my visits to him for good behavior and improvements in school or home. Sometimes it didn't work but often it did.

He taught me that there were other ways to look at things and other ways to deal with anger then to lash out. It improved me as a human being immensely.

Perhaps if there is no strong role model that you have available think about a big brother? I don't know your whole situation but it often helps for a young boy to see someone mature show interest in him other than mother and father.

The outcome of this childhood? I have become a good, morally strong and gentle man of 42. I have a loving wife, 5 great stepchildren and a granddaughter that I love very much. I take medication but even without it I am still a gentle and caring man only less able to concentrate.

Things will work out. Have faith in that. Don't rely on faith along though - try whatever it takes. I do highly recommend seeking out a mentor for your child as it did wonders for me.

check my grandbaby and me out at youtube under laysinwait

Please don't hesitate to pm me or ask here if you have anything I might be able to help you with. I am sure I was as confused and angry as your son and could give you at least some window into what he feels.

As I write this, I am crying, tears are hitting the keyboard. I am completely spent. I have a son who is 9 years old and is completely disconnected with the world and what is expected of him.

He must have his clothes laid out for him and hubby must watch or he wont change his underware in the am. He lies about brushing his teeth so the front teeth are brown tinted so we actually have to physically brush for him.

Homework is a nightmare as he would rather back talk and scream at me than just do the work and get it over with. He ruins the time I try to spend with my other son and sucks the energy right out of me. I am totally ashamed to admit this but, while I love him, I dont like him and I dont want to go out into public with him as he cannot ( even with meds) control himself.

Due to his school work and behavior, he is not allowed out to play monday-thursday after school. He must stay in the house and study and if I ease up at all, he tries to rush through his work to go out. He has a 504 plan in place but I found out he has been lying to me about his assignments and the teacher has offered him help and he lied to her face and said he didnt need it. I never thought I would say this or even think it but I am wondering if he needs some sort of residential treatment that he is not getting here.

He walks around with this weird smile on his face that is totally out of place most of the time, he mumbles and talks to himself, he has no inside voice and I constantly have a headache from his screaming, he is intentionally cruel to his 6 year old brother, calling him vile names and making it so he wont play with him.

I cannot even go on vacation with him as his behavior is so out of place. Everything has to be his way or the highway. Is there anyone else out there that even comes close to this?

I think what you don't like is his behavior - not him.

I think you may want to reconsider his play activities. It might be beneficial for him to play outside during the week but perhaps you can restrict some other activity such as TV or a favorite game until homework gets done.

I was an expert liar as a kid. I think it may be because of the creative imagination of the ADHD mind. It sounds to me like your son may need some behavior modification therapy. I would strongly suggest that you see a child psychologist to help you get a grip on some of these explosive behaviors.

Children do need to understand that there are inappropriate behaviors and must realize consequences when appropriate behaviors are not implemented. I think children with ADHD have a tough time distinguishing between right and wrong, good and bad and have an impossible time learning from their mistakes. That was me. I made repeated mistakes.

There may be other things going on as well. Your son could possibly have another condition along with his ADHD. But only a professional can give you a good assessment.

Good luck to you. I don't know if this helps at all but know that we care. :)

hugs mama...sounds like u need them...

what type of doc is prescribing his meds? i would suggest taking him into a psychaitrist for a better eval, or someone in that line.. it sounds like he is not getting what he needs.

my dd is 9 as well and can lie and does alot of (maybe not anywhere near that extreme though) what your son does. she has also been down right cruel to her yr old sister...

Longsally,

I know you have had your struggles with your son over the years. I am sorry to read your post.

Have you thought about having him re-evaluated since he is a little older? Maybe there is another underlying diagnosis that has been realized. He may even test differently due to age? Just a thought. It can never hurt to have him re-checked.

You have always mentioned in your posts that he doesn't seem to be connected and I wonder if that is because of something else with him, not sure.

You know we are here for you!!

What I did not mention in the post is the non=stop talking 58 out of 60 minutes an hour and he never follows directions.

This am, he again did not do what he was supposed to and hubby lost it and ended up sitting on my sons bed actually crying, stating he is to the point where he doesnt want to be around him.

I told both hubby and son that we were going to sit down and set up a schedule for my son, what is expected of him and direct consequences if he doesnt follow through. Then it is going into place on Monday morning. I am talking 0655, get up, 658, make bed, 0700 brush teeth.....lets see what happens.

Consequences are no skateboarding, removal of bicycle, removal of tv, telling karate instructor about behavior, earlier bed time, tc.....

I will make some phone calls and see what insurance covers but if it does not, I dont know if we can afford a child psychologist. We will have to see.

It sounds like both your husband and you are frustrated.

Longsally please bring back up to speed, is he medicated? It sounds like you are describing a child who isn't.

the non stop talking is so common among adhd'ers and not following directions/instructions as well. If he IS medicated, it isn't working.

Does his doctor know about all this? Why can't they help? Does the school have any ideas?

I just wonder if all the negative consequences will end result with a defiant child who doesn't care because it doesn't matter anyway - all priviledge are gone so why not do what you want? No loss, the child is still without priviledges. Something positive needs to be introduced, even if it is exaggerated and positive for his self esteem. It certainly can't hurt.

Longsally - Insurance should cover a child psychologist for your child. But all insurances are different.

Also, don't forget to give your son plenty of praise for the things he does accomplish and encouragement to keep motivated for things he's struggling with. Yes, consequences and punishment have their place but praise and encouragement often can prevent the need for consequences and punishment. :)
Hi, I don't know if this will help but my 10 yr old was on adderall and within months he got aggressive and very verbally abusive toward me and my other son and suicidal....you really should address the medication! I looked adderall up on the net and didn't realize that these things were a symptom of adderall, I was extremely depressed until I called a psychologist....they set me up with an appt right away and the perscribing dr got me in the next day.. we talked for like and hr or two and he immediately chg'd his meds and compared to what he was he is 10 times better now! I am a single mom and I wanted to pull my hair out!!!I spoke with sons dr and he is being reevaluated, but it will take about 1-2 months. He is also seeing a psychologist through the eap program at the hospital I work for. The dr asked me to get a book which I did and read it by Tuesday. We are going to see him Tuesday without my son first. In the meantime, I called my dr to get some antidepressants as I cannot seem to stop crying!!. Its like something in me broke.I am so sorry to hear that you are so frustrated. I am just beginning this jurney with my child but it's wonderful to have this board as a resource. Has your son had a full evaluation through the school? If not, you may want to request one which they MUST LEGALLY follow through with. It sounds like he may benefit from a full IEP whether you choose to mrdicate or not. An IEP can be written so specifically as to even require a full time aide for him if it is deemed necessary. It can also require that he be given shortened assignments, that much of his homework be completed at school, or that he not be assigned homework. This could help alleviate frustrations at home for everyone and provide him time for some much needed energy release.Hey longsally!

My son is 7 and diagnosed with dyspraxia and ADHD. He is on focalin XR 15mg but is still having trouble following directions, paying attention and using his time wisely in first grade. He asks tons of clarification questions when asked to do something or given an assignment. He also is his way or the highway, lies and seems out of place among other children. I don't think he is as extreme as you described but similar.

After reading all the posts, I'm wondering if his medication is not effective anymore. He has been on the same dose for two year.

I understand what you are going through. It is frustrating. Hang in there and seek answers.

well, I found I have eap where I work and I am checking to see if that covers my child as well. He is medicated with Adderal 20mg every morning. Even on meds, he talks non-stop and doesnt follow directions. The school is sending him to counseling 2 times a week as it is and he has a 504 in place. I am not sure what else I can do.

I my opinion, I think the meds are not working. My son would act this way if his meds weren't working as well!!

Address the meds, call the prescribing doctor!!