Just diagnosed... scared, apprehensive... | ADHD Information

Bethann... so you're saying that waiting on meds was a mistake?
This doctor says "you can spend lots of money on getting him tested at other places and trying other methods- diet, counseling etc. but if he is truly ADHD, which I think he is, you'll be right here eventually getting a prescription. Because it's something in his brain."
And to be honest, I'm seeing that a lot... people who waiting and tried other methods only to have to medicate. I, of course believe, that diet and behavior modification should be a part of his treatment... but I'm starting to feel medication should be a part of that as well. Because we actually have taken him to a counselor in Kindergarten, she said it was too early to diagnose ADHD, so we tried different methods with her and his teacher... only worked for a short time- but it did help I think.
He's just so aggressive at school and with his brother that I'm afraid he's going to get himself in REAL trouble.  After watching him Mon. night at boys scouts, my husband is more than set on trying the meds.
Thanks everyone for your help. 

Yes, I am saying because of personal experience with my hhhhhh and impulsive son, to medicate. I am not a doctor, just a mother who has been through this. I do everything I can in my posts to INFORM others of what happened when we waited. I honestly wish we began so that when he started kindergarten, he would have been more successful.

I have a very intelligent son, but adhhhhd and impulsive. He simply couldn't help himself. The first grade teacher tried a behavior plan, take away his favorite thing - recess. BUT it didn't work. He couldn't earn his recess because he couldn't control it. She saw this and informed me. We cried together and she held my hand with meds. The children and mothers and some teachers had labeled him, but through it all, he survived. He is doing very well.

His football coach last night told my husband "what an admirable boy he has and likes his style on and off the field." He is a doctor having graduated from Harvard and played football for them as well. I treasure his opinion as a doctor and a coach. He also moved our 12 yr old 7th grader up to the 8th grade team.

You will see a true difference with your son's behavior and all around. We here can help with any questions, side effects,etc. Believe me, we have all been there and still are in the neighborhood!!

My son was so adhd, that the prescribing doctor told us that we see our son's true personality with medication, that adhd got THAT in his way. Our son is shy and quiet.

Hope this helps!!

There is nothing wrong with trying the meds for awhile and stopping them if it doesn't work out.  The horrer stories you hear about side effects always seem to fail to mention that the child has or had preexisting conditions or wasn't being monitored.  I believe they are pretty safe and helpful if used properly and managed correctly by your doctor.  For us it gave us insight into what Wyatt is actually capable of and now that we are not medicating it gives us a chance to know what is workign for him and what is not.  Hope that makes sense.  Thanks guys. I really appreciate the help. We gave our son his 1/2 dose this morning and just told him it was special medicine to help him be a good boy. Is that what I should say? He's 6. I told him if he felt "funny" to tell his teacher. He's taking Adderall XR.  Have any of you seen success with this particular med? The doctor says if this doesn't help with the aggression, he might try something else.

I really hope you don't think I am jumping on you but I would never tell him it's "to be good".  Tell him the truth as best you can in kid terms. His brain doesn't work the same that's all.  He doesn't want to "be bad".  Tell him it's to help with school or something.  I don't know, I just have a issue with making it about behavior that he can't control.  It seems that would make him feel worse.?Ok I have to get back to work and mind my business. No,no. I want some advice. I don't know what to tell him... I know he doesn't want to be bad... but I thought by saying it'll help him be good- it was like he was getting some "help"- but maybe that's not the best way to put it to him.
It's hard...

It gets better.  I am no expert just a mom like you.  Maybe I am wrong.  I am sure someone else here will have some ideas. 

It's natural to be worried about medications you're giving your kid. Don't feel bad about being scared...it means your protective mom instincts are working. :)

My son isn't medicated at the moment and never has been. He hasn't had a formal diagnosis, but his psychiatrist is comfortable with an informal diagnosis since we're not seeing a 504, IEP, or meds. To make a long story short: He's smart, inattentive, and fidgety (not hyper in the classic sense). The adjustments we've made at home and school (routines, using a planner for homework assignments and communication with the teacher, keeping instructions short and simple, and exercise) seem to be enough for him right now.

All that being said...if it were me giving medication to my kid, I think I'd explain that the medication helps him focus and calm down. Be honest about what the problems are - it's not that he's a bad boy, he just lacks focus and can't hold still. That makes it hard to learn. This medication will give him the focus and calm he needs to learn in school.

Having ADHD makes him different - not better or worse. He's probably too young to explain it all right now, but if he asks, be sure to tell him the truth. His ADHD makes it hard for him to pay attention and his motor is constantly running, but it also means he's creative and intuitive. Stressing the positive aspects may give him confidence if kids ask at school.

The most important thing is to make sure he knows you love him. I have a hunch he's well aware of that, just because your of posts. Let us know how it works out. :)

3boyzmom,

Please don't worry, you are at the very best place!! I wish I had found these boards back when I didn't know what to do and was alone in the world all by myself. No one to talk to, no one who understood, I agonize just remembering.

Please we will help you.

You are a great mom, any one who comes here, posts or even lurkes, cares about their child/adult. They are here learning and helping them.

Having adhd is NOT a death sentence. It does add a twist to things, but we all can handle it by working together.

Please just love him, stay on top of the school to make sure he is ok, as well as his friends, to make sure he has some, and any bullies.

I also wanted to post this to you, adderall xr made my son aggressive, angry, upset, he was all over the place. We didn't last but a few days. He can't use that medication family. He is on the ritalin family, concerta is his choice of meds.

Please keep posting. We are all here for you!!

The support here is so great.  Someday I am going to win powerball and invite you all on a cruise so we can all meet. 

I think we are such "kindred spirits" here and we all truly care about each other.

Fingers crossed you win!!

Thanks everyone! My daughter was just diagnosed by a child psychologist. She is 7 yrs old. I
filled out 3 questionnaires. It was during summer, so teacher was
unavailable. The doctor also tested my daughter for about 45 minutes, just
him and her. He gave her 2 subtest for IQ, which she showed normal
intelligence. He said a full IQ test was not covered by insurance. He also
tested her working memory and ability to stay focused, but I am not sure
how he did this. We chose to wait on meds, but if I did get meds, I would
expect a long discussion with the doc about side effects to look out for and
I think he should have mentioned meds are a trial and error approach, as
I've read many on this site say they tried a few different ones or a combo
before they found something that worked.

We saw a pedicatric neuropsychologist at a Children't hospital. He was diagnosed just shy of 5. We began meds at the end of 1st grade, just shy of 7. Biggest regret of my life.

Because of MY fear, my son was labeled. Meds truly helped save him. It is such a personal choice, BUT, remember it is to help the child. When some aren't medicated, things happen that really hurt them.

Please let us know where we can help. My son is 12 yrs old and very successful with the help of meds.

I agree that you should be upfront with your son about what the meds are for.  They will help him to pay better attention and focus on his schoolwork, etc.  This is what we told our son and he is very conscious of his meds, when he doesn't take them, how he feels, if they're working, etc.  We've told him that ADHD means his brain works differently from other people's, but that it's part of what makes him the person that he is -- and that we love him very much.

My son tried Adderall 1st and it ended up not working for him (he's on Ritalin now).  When we started this ADHD journey I didn't know about this message board and had NO idea about meds and what to expect.  So I just want to give you some info to watch for with the meds...

First whatever doc you use needs to be open and available to answer your questions and make medication adjustments immediately if necessary. I recommend a psychiatrist or other specialist.  They just seem to be more experience with the meds.  I just kind of thought that my son would take a pill and that would be it...wow was I wrong.  It can be a long frustrating road to get the medication right but once you do-WOW what a difference it can make!  The best way get to the right medication is to stay in contant contact with the doc.  We talked on the phone with my son's doc at least once a week and I texted her almost every night with updates.

Watch negative behaviors that weren't there before medication like aggression, overly emotional, meltdowns etc.  These can be caused by the medicine if it's the wrong med, if it's the wrong dose, if it's timed wrong etc...Just because there is a negative side effect from a medication doesn't necesarily mean it is the wrong med.  It may just need adjustment or side effects can get better with time.  For example, if my son is on too low a dose he gets these side effects. So we just adjusted the dose. 

Also watch for "rebound".  I didn't know what it was until we started meds.  It's a reaction that can happen when the meds wear off.  It's usually where all of the child's negative behaviors come back but much worse and it lasts up to several hours.  This happened when my son took Adderall so we had to ajust the doses to make sure one dose never completely wore off before we gave him the next one.  We eventually switched to Ritalin and he doesn't have any rebound now.

On a positive note, stimulants are very fast acting so you should see some change in your son within the first hour of taking it-assuming the dose is high enough.  My son's doctor told us that if you see a positive reaction to stimulants (even if there are bad side effects) it means that you're on the right track.  You just have to find the right medication/combo to minimize the side effects.

Sorry this is so long.  I just wish someone would have told me this stuff! I wish you the best of luck and I feel for you! Hang in there! It DOES get better!  

I appreciate the help. Since my son is in school the bulk of the day, I'm unfortunately relying heavily on his teacher to help me know when we've got the meds right. She said he was better in the morning yesterday but was worse in the afternoon... I guess that means his low does wore off early.
We told our son also, to let us know how he was feeling and he needs to let us know if his new special medicine is helping or making his feelings worse.
Sounds like adderall isn't for everyone- although our dr. says he has had a lot of success with it, so we are hopeful.
Thanks for letting me know about the rebound... but don't they eventually have to wear off for kids to get some sleep? Sounds like evening might be rough

Yes generally the meds have to wear off sometime-usually to get the child to sleep.  But rebound can be helped or even stopped completely by adjusting timing or dose.  So it's possible to let it wear off at night without rebound if the doc knows how to do it right for your specific child.  If it can't be avoided then the medication needs to be supplemented with other meds or changed all together.

Every child is different and the meds react differently with each one.  My son didn't do well with Adderall but my friend's son did great with it right off the bat! So it's just trial and error.  It can be frustrating but if your doc is good it will go much smoother and once you get it right you'll wonder how you ever survived before meds!  Good luck and please keep us posted!

What things do you do besides meds? We tried some behavior modification technics last year with his K teacher, and he seemed to improve- in her class and at home. But at church, PE, afterschool... all the others he still had the same impulsive, aggressive behavior
I don't think his self esteem has been effected- too much. He does say other kids don't like him, but he says THEY are mean. His teacher says he has trouble keeping friends. It is frstrating b/c he can be so sweet- but that only comes across in more intimate settings. His learning is being effected. He if obviously very smart, but struggles with school work.
Is a phycyitrist the best route?
I won't recomend any particular type of doctor because I don't really know who is best.  Hopefully someone else will pipe in here and give you some opinions.  Food alergies etc can mimic some adhd symptoms and so can other disorders.  I can't fathom that he didn't even talk to your child or do any tests at all. As far as trying other things...the alternatives boards here has some different ideas.  As for us we do as much organic foods as possible and little sugar when we can avoid it.  I strongly believe that preservatives and dyes really exacerbate Wyatt's problems.  He had a red hot dog at a soccer game this weekend.  I should never have given in.  I couldn't stand my own child. The chiropractor has helped him as well but adhd can't be cured so of course there are still issues and if we need to go back to meds we will.  Once you get a clear diagnosis that you are comfotable with I wouldn't be afraid of the meds if that's what he needs.

Follow your gut -- get another opinion.   It sounds like that is what your gut is saying.

In our case, we saw a psychologist who specialized in ADHD who diagnosed him using the following:  completed questionnaire from teacher, completed questionnaire from parents, interviews with child, interviews with parents, testing with child.  It was much longer than a 10 minute process.  I'm sure there are other different types of doctors and methods out there for diagnosing; I'm just relating to you what our experience was.

We opted to medicate but it took some trials to find something that worked well for him.  We also just switched off of stimulants recently (he's now 13 and has mild Tourette's also) and he seems to be doing well on Strattera. 

After you are OK with the diagnosis, you might want to give the meds a trial to see if there is any positive change or not.  I've heard from adults whose parents chose not to medicate, who were upset when they got older and started meds and saw what an improvement they had in their lives.  My personal opinion is that it doesn't hurt to try the meds if you're comfortable with the diagnosis.  If the meds don't work, you can stop them.  Or maybe you should consider meds when your son is older if you don't want to medicate now.  We didn't start medicating until 3rd grade when it became apparent that he really was struggling.

Good luck with your decision.

Thanks everyone. This is a scary time for us- as I'm sure you've all experienced. I just have so many questions. On one hand it would be a relief to know this is what's going on as nothing we've tried as helped for very long, and he's just exhausted us, his teachers and his schoolmates.
I don't feel like I can talk to anyone, b/c we want to keep this diagnosis to ourselves for right now- Is that wrong? We just don't want him to be "labeled".
I also have some questions about school. Does anything different happen after he's been officially diagnosed? Like do they give him special concessions for things, or will they try special discipline technics?
You have every right to keep it to yourself.  Nothing is "wrong" if you are doing what you feel is best for your family.  Some people have IEP's (Individualized Education Plan) with the school but if his issues are primarily behavioral I am not sure he'd need that.  (But don't take my word for sure) We have a 504 which doesn't really allow for special services but does allow accomodations.  Yes, with an offical diagnosis the school is required to meet with you and put somehting in place if you request the meeting.  A good resource is your states education deparment web site and your school's web site if they have their policies on it.  Make sure you know your rights.  Some teachers and school are great and others don't see past the budget and their own agenda so you will have to advocate for your child.  I wouldn't sit back and wait for them to come up with anything.  Just so you know...before Wyatt started meds his doctor at least did blood work to be sure there were no issues with his liver etc and she continued to do them periodically while he was on the meds.  Don't get me wrong I think they are pretty safe but I can't really get over the short amount of time your doctor took to write a prescription.   Thanks. I guess I should clarify... our appt. was at 4:30. The doctor ran over with another patient and didn't come in our room until 5:25. I had to leave at 5:50 with our son to pick up another child. So my husband did talk with the doctor for probably another 20 min. after we left... So it was actually 25 min,. with me.  He did "examine" our son and ask about lead and allergies, and things for about 5 min. But the only question he asked our son (who was rolling around the bottom of the exam table) was "how do you like school." My son said, "I hate it." lol and then the doctor continued to talk to us.
But it was within the FIRST 10 min. time frame when the doctor started talking to us about medications- as if he'd already come to a conclusion that he was ADHD.
I guess I just expected a questionaire or I don't know ... a CAT scan? lol I didn't know what to expect. I think I was still steaming about having to wait so long.

First, there's no reason to panic. ADHD is not a bad thing, it doesn't mean your son has a learning disorder, and it doesn't change who he is. ADHD is simply a label to describe some of your son's behaviors, just like "rowdy" and "talkative" can describe a child's behaviors. Having ADHD simply means you think in a different way than other people - not better or worse, just different. Knowing your son has ADHD helps you tailor his education (both at school and at home) around his specific needs.

Yes, medications are often a first line treatment for ADHD, but don't ever feel pressured to give your son any medication prescribed by your doctor. Although the choice is easier to make if you're talking about an antibiotic for an ear infection, the choice is still yours to make.

If you choose to go the medication route, don't forget that it is only one of many tools available to help your son. Therapy (behavioral, cognitive, etc.), social skills training, home organization and routines, and adjustments at school can help a lot.

There isn't a "test" that will confirm whether or not you have ADHD. Some doctors use formal checklists or questionnaires and some don't. If you're uncomfortable with the way your son was initially diagnosed, call your pediatrician back and ask for an explanation. If they won't take the time to explain it or discuss your concerns, find a new doctor.

ADHD can be diagnosed by a pediatrician, family doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. If your pediatrician feels like your son has ADHD, it might be worth a trip to a child psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD before you move forward. Your pediatrician should be able to recommend someone and provide a referral if necessary.

There is a more formal evaluation process that can be done, but it involves having teachers and parents fill out questionnaires as well as several visits to the psychiatrist.

Before you put your son on meds, if that's the route you choose to take, be sure to have his pediatrician check him for heart and liver issues (Wyatt's Mom explained it well). The meds are generally safe, but you shouldn't take them if you have certain conditions.

Contact your school administration office to find out how to pursue a 504 or IEP. It sounds like your son's teacher might be a good resource in terms of helping lay out what works and doesn't work for your son in the classroom.

Just remember that you are doing everything you can to help your son grow up to be a happy, healthy adult. Good luck and keep us posted.

We had both of our ADHD daughters evaluated at Children's Hospital.  They did a complete diagnosis - and then gave us a complete written report (which is VERY helpful when it comes time for trying to get an IEP or 504 Plan with the school).  I would highly recommend a childrens hospital that has a branch that specializes in ADHD.  The only downside is it can take a LONG time for an appointment and your insurance may not cover all of the costs but i feel it was well worth the time and money.  Good luck!    Our 6 year-old son's teacher recommended we have him tested for ADHD, I wrote out a list of common behaviors he shows at school, church and home- the teacher also wrote a note (that I thought was exaggerated) but it seemed like within 10 min. the doctor had his mind made up about him and prescribed medication.
The doctor didn't even really talk to my son- but said my note looked like a text book on ADHD symptoms.
I'm at a loss- yes, he's always had behavioral problems, but it just seems TOO easy to read a couple of notes, prescribe a pill and all will be well.
Should I take him for a second opinion? I haven't started the meds yet- it's aderall X...something.
You should follow your gut.  What kind of doctor?  It was one of the pediatricians in his doctor's office. He's the adhd "specialist" in the practice. So on one, hand perhaps he knows what he's looking for so well- that it doesn't take long to diagnose. But on the other hand, is he over-diagnosing? We did meds awhile, now we don't.  It's a choice you need to make for your child because every child, family, and situation is different.  If you are not comfortable with the meds and/or the way the doctor did things then yes I think you definately need to get another opinion and research all of your options first so that you are comfortable.  A second opinion can not hurt anything. Some children really need the meds to be succesful.  If it affects his learning too much and/or his self esteem then you shouldn't wait too long but I say you should follow your gut.  I think alot of people here will tell you a pediatrician may not be the best choice.