New post, here goes.
hi
im not on meds yet so after trying to read your novel i gave up lol
i cant and have never read a whole letter or book, i just dash quickly through it and just read words that stand out and intrest me lol, dont get me wrong i can read and write and have done so since i was 6yrs old, i just cant focus.
im waiting to go on meds so hopefully a few weeks time i will come back to this message board if its still here and read it without skipping lol
i hope you forgive me?
ive got 5boys and 1 with adhd/hyper kentic disorder and 2 with adhd/dypraxia
its really hard to do sit down and concentrate on one thing, i for one find im addicted to my pc lol
i can do hundred things at once but nothing gets done in one go
got to go baby is crying and the other one is hitting me lol
speak soon xx
Just found this site today. I have suspected that I have a problem but haven't seen a professional. What meds are you on that have made such a profound effect on your daily life and the abilty to get things done?
HAHAHAH\]\I loved the I'm not on meds yet so couldnt read your whole post...I read the beginning skimmed a bit and read the end.. I can relate to the spelling errors. It is so hard to take the time to spell check! I am sure people understand that here. I start meds next week...maybe I will be able to read the whole post next month. I cant take ritalin I am going to be trying Straterra
I have been resonably successfully from the outside also. On the inside I am in constant crisis management and one step from chaos. I "hide" the behaviors a bit by l joking them off. My ex wife used to call me the absent minded professer.... I am sick of it and just sought help als. I answered some 80 question survey then had a co worker who is a good good frined tell me which applied top me he stopped at 20 and said the list of those that didnt apply to me would be far shorter. I kinda already knew my Mother had mentioned my childhood behaviors in relationship to QADD symptoms before she died aqnd being always curious I looked up information all over the place... Are others here like that? When you get focused on something are you the most thourogh person you know? Its the getting focused that's my problem if I am dis interested forget it. GL to you on your journey I related to all that I have read in your post and on this board pretty much
Wrxified, Happy New Year to You and well, Congratulations on getting so far on thisrollercoaster of a journey that scares the bejappers out of most of us men.
"The Admission" that we are Different can be a bridge too far for some. This is a
crock because if you weight up what we have against " the perceived" we are an
asset. Great Big Heart, Boundless Energy, Creative and broad focused thinking.
People often forget that we, by being who we are, facilitate types of "Questioning"
that would never happen without our presence in their lives. We have brought so
many changes in the focus of medical practice. Professionals have had to learn
new ways of" thinking and doing" We are facilitaters of positive challange to a
way of thinking that has become "Stale" in so many ways. I like to think of us,
those of us with formal written diagnosis, as a step in evolution, brain wise, and
it is going to take the scientific world years to catch up with us. They know that
we exist because of how "The Chemistry" works, but, science still has not found
where or what caused that chemical change or why only certain humans have
been subjects of this change. I could go on with this but this is not the forum
for it. Once again well done to you man and welcome to the boards where you
are never alone and you will always meet amazing individuals with so many
facinating and sometimes, quirky ways of thinking and responding to this new
and often challanging way of existing.
[QUOTE=ryan1950]
People often forget that we, by being who we are, facilitate types of "Questioning"
that would never happen without our presence in their lives. We have brought so
many changes in the focus of medical practice. Professionals have had to learn
new ways of" thinking and doing" We are facilitaters of positive challange to a
way of thinking that has become "Stale" in so many ways. I like to think of us,
those of us with formal written diagnosis, as a step in evolution, brain wise, and
it is going to take the scientific world years to catch up with us. They know that
we exist because of how "The Chemistry" works, but, science still has not found
where or what caused that chemical change or why only certain humans have
been subjects of this change. I could go on with this but this is not the forum
for it. Once again well done to you man and welcome to the boards where you
are never alone and you will always meet amazing individuals with so many
facinating and sometimes, quirky ways of thinking and responding to this new
and often challanging way of existing.
[/QUOTE]
Anyone got documentations or experiences to share about this topic. i would be happy to read more about the creative and challenging issues.
happy new year to everybody.
Ryan-
Thanks for the welcome and the response to my post. I like to look at it
from your point of view. Unfortunately I think ADHD has a kind of stigma
to it. I think people think of "the kid acting out" or "the daydreaming
adult". They don't think of the "out of the box" creative type who's added
quite a bit to many peoples lives.
AndrewWrxified, I actually got tears in my eyes reading your post - I'm 34 and just diagnosed about a month ago. I felt all the same things you're feeling!
Isn't it amazing how you can keep up with normal life chores and do even more?! I've gotten my household more organized in the past month than it's *ever* been and the feeling is GREAT.
At work, the phone can ring right in the middle of a complicated project (I layout a newspaper) and instead of sitting there staring at the wall for 10 minutes trying to figure out what step I was working on before the call, I go right into it like I was never interupted. It's totally and completely amazing to think that 'normal' people have it this easy all the time:)
Doesn't it make you wonder where you would be today (at least professionally) if you did this 10 or 15 years ago?! It makes me sad, but also happy that at least I've gotten here now.
I know what you're saying. It is scary to think what I could've done so far.
Actually I'm thankful. I might have ended up off to school for 4 years
somewhere outside of my area. Might have never started dating my wife.
No beautiful kids. Life wouldn't be the same.
I am just happy about looking forward to the future. I go back to work
tomorrow for the first time since the 17th. Had to use my vacation or
lose it. I am excited and looking forward to the week.I might as well start it like everyone else does
After being pushed for a while by my wife I went and spoke to my doctor.
I was suffering from the usual symptoms. Always fidgety, absolute lack
of focus, always putting off projects to the last minute, trouble following
basic directions, quick and unexpected outbreaks (emotional), so on and
so forth.
Don't get me wrong. I've always been sucessful. Maybe just extremely
lucky. I never had the will to finish college. I consider myself fairly
intelligent. I'm a loving father. I'm faithful. I just forget to focus on what
is most important. For instance. I make a point of turning my schedule
upside-down to make it to my daugther's gymnastics performance. I get
there and find myself completely unable to pay attention, and end up
fidgeting with my cellphone playing games.
At work I am a sales
manager and want to do what's best for the team. I care about our
success but get so overwhelmed thinking about my family and due dates
on RFP's that I end up sitting there staring at my computer sometimes for
20 minutes at a time trying to figure out where to start. I'll know 90 days
before a due date and wait to do it in the last 48 hours. I do an excellent
job but know I could've done an amazing job. I've found myself taking
navigational directions from a friend or family member over the phone in
the car where I've gotten so frustrated trying to think them through and
put them on paper that I just end up handing the phone in a frustrated
motion to my wife to figure it out. Then I'm pissed because I can't
understand what the person is trying to say. Oh and did I mention I'm
extremely impulsive? I'm thirty in April. I've owned 24 cars since I was
sixteen. 5 of them new. I'll come home one day with a new car and a
smile. My wife just rolls her eyes. Two years and three cars ago I sold a
car. My WRX (thus the permanent WRXIFIED username). When I sold it I
had put nearly $13,000 in performance parts on the car. Stuff I could
afford but my family could've used for the more important stuff. I'd be
bored at work and order a $1000 intercooler to keep me going. It's
amazing she's stayed with me. But we've dated since we were 19. I fell in
love with her when I used to sit behind her in the 7th grade. Literally
daydreaming for hours about her. Ocasionally pulling her hair to get her
attention.
So there's where I was a month ago. Recently my wife tested me one day
with one of the 30 question survey's. I had no idea what she was doing.
She said "just answer these questions, you're gonna think it's funny!".
The test I took said if you scored 24 or higher then you exhibit nearly all
the key characteristics associated with Adult ADHD. I scored 41. About
ten years ago my Mom had taken up work as a Para-Pro assisting
struggling students in the public school system. She said if she knew 25
years ago what she knew today she would have had me tested then. She's
worked with kids with severe ADHD. She says it reminds her of me as a
child. So I met with my Doctor a week ago. He asked me questions for
what seemed like and eternity. I felt ashamed to answer some. I wanted
to lie on some but didn't. He asked me about my life growing up, high-
school, college (10 years not finished), work, and everything else I could
think of. After about a half an hour he started writing a prescription. It
was for Adderall 20 mg XR. He handed it to me and explained ADHD
more in depth to me and said he felt we should pursue treatment.
Here's how my week has gone. I've been on vacation.
Day 1 - The stuff really kind of freaked me out at first. I felt like
someone wound me up and let me loose. I've been working on our
basement for 6 months (first time finishing it). For a month I haven't
opened the door to downstairs. I had tools scattered everywhere. And
hundreds of pounds of scrap drywall piled amongst three rooms. So I
opened the door. Hour later I'm on the way to the dump with the pickup
so full my truck was nearly doing a catwalk down the expressway.
The basement looks spotless. Went later that night to celebrate
Christmas with my dad and his young ones. I played an entire game of
Monopoly and enjoyed it. When my younger brother asked me to explain
the basics I was able to really put it into context he could understand. I
participated in conversations I normally wouldn't have. Normally I'd be
daydreaming at the same table nodding my head in agreement. Went to
the casino that night with my brother. Played cards until late. Wife was
mad. I also called my mom today. When she heard the doctor prescribed
medication for ADHD she started crying. I felt bad. She said she felt like
it was her fault I never finished college. I told her it wasn't her fault. Like
the doctor said. A lot of people go 40 years without being diagnosed.
Some an entire lifetime. Some successful, some labled by others as
dumb, unfocussed or even lazy. It's not her fault.
Day 2 - My wife was very upset about me being out late with my brother.
Normally I would get mad and clam up when she gets upset. Instead I
actively listened and talked with her. I arranged for my mom to babysit.
My wife and I don't get out at all. We went to a movie and sat and talked
at the coffee shop for a quite a while afterwards. I haven't spoken to my
wife for 15 minutes straight, and actually listened for quite a while. I had
a great time. I don't think my kids said "dad?" once without getting an
enthusiastic response the entire day. I was a little jittery after the coffee
shop. Almost hard to explain. Not drunk or high feeling but sort of like I
felt like someone else was taking over my life. That may sound crazy.
I'm not. But I felt like I was acting different than I would even without
ADHD. Okay here's my best explanation. Before I felt like a puppet
attached to strings. Someone else in control. Now I felt like I was
controlling the puppet. Looking in from the outside, in total control.
Day 3 - I'm still on vacation but feel like I have a lot at work to tackle
before next week comes. I have a new sales rep starting Monday. So I
brought my daughter to work with me. Read 236 emails while taking
breaks to copy mine and my daughter's hand on the copy machine and
color a picture with her. Faxed my expense report for year end and
approved all my reps reports. Went home and cleaned the house. We
had a Martini party scheduled at our house with a few friends. I served
countless Martinis to my friends. My wife was happy. I still kind of feel
"out of body" but less nervous.
Day 4 - Kind of started questioning whether I was supposed to be this
nice? I feel very alert. Would I be this nice and alert if I didn't have ADHD
to begin with? I feel great and like things are changing quicker than
they're supposed to. Only thing I can say is I'm worried it won't last while
worried that I'm not the way I'd be without the ADHD and the medication.
Day 5 - Same as the last. Today I mopped the floor for my wife, looked
at furniture for the basement, and went to a family friends to watch the
Rosebowl. I am constantly picking stuff up around the house. Always
moving. I was amazed at how excited i was to talk to everyone at the
Rosebowl party. Like I said above, I'd be sitting in the corner somewhere
silent. Only responding to people when they asked a question. Totally
different now. I'm walking up to people and engaging them in
conversation. I taught my wife how to play Texas Hold'em.
So there it is. My last month from exploration of a possible sickness, to
diagnosis and then on to treatment. Sorry to ramble. This is a huge post.
It's 1:30 and I'm going to bed. Hopefully.
Edited this morning after reading all the spelling errors! Plus I felt like
I had more to share. So I've typed a novel for a bunch of folks suffering
from ADHD. Hope you've taken your meds!
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