new to the board | ADHD Information

My wife and I have a 7 year old son who has ADHD. We have been dealing with this since he was in pre-school. While he was in first grade we tried many meds, but they either did not work or made him sick. It was the last med (datrana patch) that made us stop meds all together. The patch made his fears go out of control to the point he screams at the sight of a bug and fears leaving the house. So we have stopped all meds and fell the side effects are worse then the benifits.

We get notes home almost everyday about him acting out in class and it is bothering us to the point we want to just home school him or try cyber school. He got straight A's in first grade and has a B average now in second grade. So he is not dumb by a long shot. He just has trouble sitting still and focusing on more then one thing at a time. But the school has been making us jump trough hoops to get him extra help with his focus. We are doing a natural treatment for him and it is going to take time to work, but his teacher has been asking him to start taking his meds again. Correct me if I am wrong but she doesn't have that right. She doesn't want him in her class anymore, because she can not handle him. Yet if she sends work home with him he gets it done fast and right for us. So he is not that hard to handle.

Is anyone else going through this? We are at our wits end with this. It breaks my heart to see him like this and I am so angry with the school I am ready to take legal action. What more can we do?

She can't tell you to put him on meds, but it's well within her rights to give you her opinion. Contact your school's counselor and have a heart to heart with the teacher. Explain the situation with the side effects openly and honestly.

Is your son currently being seen by a child psychiatrist? I'm not sure what natural treatment you're doing, but there are tons of behavioral therapies you can do as well. Ultimately, he needs to learn to work with his ADHD, whether he's on meds or not.

There are also accomodations that can be made in the classroom in the form of an IEP/504 plan. I am far from the expert on those, but I know you can include things like having your son sit near the front of the class and having the teacher give him nonverbal cues to refocus him. There are loads of people here who are well versed in writing them and there are tons of resources on the net and in print.

You will need to work closely with the school in order to help your son. The school can't be expected to handle this without help from you. I really believe home school or cyber school is not the answer here - the social interactions of public school will teach your son invaluable lessons about life and provide him an environment in which he can practice social skills.

We have already set up an meeting with the teacher, nurse, principle and IEP. Actually we demanded it. We have been asking for one since the second week of school. But the school lied to us and said you need a presciption from your Doctor for an IEP. When we asked our son's doctor for one he said we didn't need it, the school is required to offer it to us when there is trouble with the child right away. He told us most schools do not offer it because it takes money out of their pockets. Some schools would rather the kid suffer or just have the parents pull them then deal with the problem.

We have been working with our son on this for a few years now. The majority of the time we know how to get him refocused. But like I said he gets good grades, he may not seen like he is listening but if you ask him to tell you what you said he does it. But yes he does have his moments when he is clueless. We work through those though. Our main problem is with his teachers form of punishment for bad behavior. She takes away his play time. That is the worst thing to do to an ADHD child. He needs the time to use up some o that energy. We have found out on our own that after playing and running around he pays attention more. When she makes him sit while the other kids play he gets fussy and acts out in class in the afternoon.

Both cyber school and home school kids are permited to join in all school activities in the school district they live in. Also cyber school has field trips and get togthers for the kids. That combined with Sunday School he would get plenty of interaction with other kids. Not to metion my son is very scoial as it is. He takes after me (his father) by having the ablity to make friends in any room he walks into. So that doesn't worry me. What worries me the most is him not getting the prasie he deserves for good grades and only hearing the negative he does from the school.

He has ADHD, he is not dumb. The school doesn't see it that way. And we are going to take this as fars it takes to get him what he needs.

Whether the parent chooses to put the child on medication or not, that is a very personal decision and a teacher is not qualified nor is it their right to even suggest medication. Her expertise is in teaching, not treatment for ADHD and if the child is having daily struggles  in school its the teachers responsibility  to bring it to the parents attention and suggest strategies for learning, not medication.

Having said that, ADHD is not an academic problem. These children for the most part are average to above average intelligence. They don't have a problem learning but rather a learning problem due to lack of focus and inattention. They usually hit the wall by 3rd or 4th grade as the work becomes more abstract and the child is also expected to take on more personal responsibility.

The fact that the teacher takes away your child's play time as punishment is despicable Almost every parent I have encountered in my 22 years of dealing with my son's ADHD has had similar problems with the school system including myself. I can't speak for everyone and I don't but I am just sharing my personal experiences. My son was in second grade 16 years ago and it seems nothing has changed. The negative feedback and negative reinforcement imposed by the school system could and does bash the child's self esteem into the ground. School accommodations can be very helpful but in the absence of effective treatment, the child will not make significant strides.

There are some pretty good home school programs out there and the children do get plenty of socialization. Hats off to you for being so proactive and advocating for your child.                  

Luvmykids0240098.9450462963robdana1, do you think a re-evaluation would help? There are so many who have something in addition to adhd. My son has speech delay, sensory integration and anxiety. It took us a while to find the right med and right dosage, but it was worth it for us. We also use a psychopharmacologist to help us with all our medicine decisions.

Medication is very personal, and is great when with a experienced mental health doctor. Our pedicatrian who is not in that field of expertise referred us to the psycopharm.

Our son could never make it through a day with out his meds due to his HHHH and impulsiveness. I honestly forget how adhd he is until I am around before meds or when they wear off. He is lucky that even though it is over 12 hours, DS stays in check. But now being 12, he actually told me he needed an increase due to him starting to get goofy and annoying in the afternoons at school.

I totally feel for you. We too lost recess as a behavior plan with our first grade teacher. She wanted us to try everything before medication. Preschool teacher took away his gym, made him look at a book in the classroom, and this was at a integrated preschool for those children with adhd, autism, down syndrome, etc set up by early intervention!! Worthless teacher. She also would make fun of his speech and tell me I gave him too much sugar. AND they wouldn't give him speech therapy nor Occupation therapy for his sensory integration. It took them fearing a lawsuit to get my IEP for my son. We walked into kindergarten with it.

Our son got labeled. We live in a small, catty, gossipy, clicky town which makes it even harder to shake off. We also live in a town of denial.   I have been around the world with my son. If I only had these boards to go to for help, but I was alone with my husband.   So I know how you are all feeling and what you are going through firsthand!!

It is as if our son is the ONLY ADHD'er here, BUT at my CVS, I went to refill a prescription once only to discover that they were all out of my son's mg!! Wow in a town with NO adhd'ers, hmmm something is weird here  especially when we are the only family who has adhd in it!!

Get the school on board to help your son. HAve you ever put in writing asking the school for an evaluation? You do need to do that for a IEP504 Plan. Has that been explained to you? They might explain it to you at the meeting. They are allowed 30 days that school is in session to complete it. Please come back after the meeting and let us help you further as they may lie some more!!  

I wish you all the very best, and please keep us posted!!

We went through roughly seven meds before we just gave up on them. My wife and I just got tired of cleaning puke up all the time, not to mention the side effects some of them had on him. He has been doing ok with just the supplements, but he is far from being cured. He is going to be starting a wrap around program and a IEP plan here soon, there is just a lot of fighting to get it moving right now. The school is doing everything they can to not have to pay for this and wanting us to just let the insurence pay for the whole thing. Funny thing is our doctor and case worker both say it is up to the school to provide the program and to watch if the school says other wise because it will be a lie. Sure enough the school is pushing for us to pay for it all. So yet another wall to break down. They want a fight they will get one.

As for grades he doesn't seem to suffer, he makes A's and B's although he did bring home one F because he was messing around on a test and admitted he did. He does have a hard time focusing in class at times because so much is going on not just there but in his head. He needs to work on his impulse control a bit too. he has friends there and they have been asking for him to come and play after school lately, we just have been so busy with appointments for him and getting school work done ( his teacher lets him bring what he can't finish at school home to work on ) that we don't have time for him to play right now. He is a very popular boy at school. He is a very happy boy. he is always making us laugh with jokes and stories of how his day went.

The school psychologist does the evaluation. Jessica N40104.8374652778The homeschooling where you are part of a school district sounds like a good option.Jessica N40099.8853125

We had our meeting with the school and it would seem we are on the same page with how to treat our son's adhd. My only problem is even the school nurse was strongly pushing meds even if they hurt his stomach or he has bad side effects. They are not saying we have to do it, but were saying negative things about natural treatments. But oh well, they can keep thier ideas to them selves. We are going to at least try our way first and have many different doctors that back up going natural.

The plan we put in motion will be an IEP/504 plan. But first we need a psych eval for our son. But boy is this going to be a fight. I took my son to see the psychiatrist yesterday and he can do the eval because our neither ours or my son insurance covers it. I was told first that I need to change my plan to get the eval. But when I talked more about why I needed it, I was told the school should be paying for it since they need the eval to move forward with the IEP/504. The school told us we had to pay for it. But the dr says we are getting the run around and most all schools do this because they don't want to pay for the IEP/504 plan. The dr said if we start the process through our insurance then the school pays for nothing nd it is up to us to get him an aide.

So the fight is going on. this is looking like it will be a war. At this point I am ready to take down the whole school system.

The fact that the teacher takes away your child's play time as punishment

 

 

I'm guessing this is a less mature teacher . making us isolated and secluded only makes us fizzy on the inside like a soda shook up, but with the lid still on. its best to take us somewhere where we can  release our energies.

i find it hard to believe that a self respecting teacher cant see the acting out coming and redirect him to an equivalent edutainment activity

 

creative outlet + edutainment.

 

 

playtime  = 

 

 

furthermore

 

What state are you in?  I teach in Virginia and I could LOSE MY JOB if I dared to suggest a parent even consider meds!  I can't believe the school nurse even said it!  We also are not allowed to use recess as a consequence for anything at pour school without parent permission.  In addition, students can not have an IEP until they undergo a full evaluation by a team of people.  This includes the school psychologist, school social worker, nurse (including your docs records if needed), the classroom teacher, AND the parents.  (An exception to this would be a student with an obvious physical medical condition.)  Most of the kids at my school with ADHD do not even have IEP's but what we call Student Assistance Plans that are created by the parent, a learning specialist, and the classroom teacher.  It is basically a contract saying what each person (including the child) will do to help the student succeed.  This includes positive reinforcement techniques as well as what assistance will be provided to kids.  Many times, I have shortened assignments, added in "exercise" breaks, and rearranged schedules to accomodate the needs of these kids never knowing that I myself would have the same needs for my own child one day.  These SAP's are reviewed and updated at least once a year but are changed earlier if needed.

Hi,

Keep up the fight. How many meds did you try with your son? It can take a while to get the right one. But, if you just don't want to go down that road again stick to your guns. I understand. We tried many before getting it right but it saved his mental health. And I mean it. IT SAVED HIS MENTAL HEALTH. Not to mention his academic success. He finally felt like a normal kid, had more friends, improved his interactions with everyone.

Is your son unhappy at school either with friends or the work? How does he view himself? A troublemaker, leader, team player, smart, dumb or just doesn't care? That will help you make a decision on homeschooling. For my son, homeschooling would have been the worst thing for him. While he struggled socially to isolate him more from peers would have been horrible. I know the homeschooling parents who say their kids are involved in sports, church, boyscouts, etc, but it's not the same as school friends. I just want you to be aware it's not the same thing. The school relationships are much stronger. However, after saying all that I would have homeschool him if that was the best solution. It can be done very well. I know wonderful children who are homeschooled.

One more point. Many ADHD children can perform very well one on one. Your example of him completing his homework just fine at home. Well, it's the classroom distractions and the classroom stimulations that can overwhelm some ADHD kids to the point they can't complete their work in class.  Parents see their child complete the work in a non-stimulating environment and question the ADHD or the teachers methods. The point it that for some ADHD kids just being in the classroom is too much. Sounds weird but true.

This is a great place to look for answers and information. Good luck.