Concern for Nephew | ADHD Information

When I saw my nephew last night I thought he was ill. Then I was told he's on ritalin. He did not smile, he did not laugh, he did not show any of his normal joy at seeing his cousins. He sat on the couch and did not move all night. He did not speak unless spoken to. He had to be strongly enouraged to eat just half of his hamburger, and ate nothing else.

I know from the research I've done so far that anorexia is a side effect, but I am very concerned about him. From what I was told he's been on ritalin for about a month now, was started on a half tab, and after a couple weeks upped to a full tab which he takes once a day at breakfast. (Which leads me to believe this is the the SR or LA)

Is his behavior normal for a child just starting on the med? My gut instinct is telling me he is being over medicated, and that the school is strongly encouraging it or threatening expulsion. (He's a kindergartener, turned 6 in october)

I'm just a very concerned aunt. He was born premature and fought so hard to just live, and now he's just a vegetable. I want to see the sparkle back in his eyes and I want to hear him laugh and see him engage in active play with his cousins. It's breaking my heart.

I just want to sort out the facts from the myths, and try to understand the drug. All the websites I've seen seem to be very biased one way or the other, there's no middle ground.

I want to discuss this with my brother in law and his girlfriend, but I want to be armed going into battle so to speak. My husband tells me to butt out and mind my own business, but I've held my tongue about so many things, and I dont' think I can ignore this one.

my daughter has been taking ritalin la for about 6 weeks.  it seems to be having the same effect on her.  she seems withdrawn when it kicks in. She is definately not as hyper but she also doesnt seem happy.   i am changing her meds as soon as i can talk to her dr.  i am sure your nephews parents are aware of the changes in him.  From experience i can tell you that it is hard raising a child with adhd and very frustrating when your trying to help them.  I am sure they know that you mean well and you are just concerned but i reacted the same way to famiy members that tried to get involved only because i was already frustrated.  i am not saying that you shouldnt get involved, im just saying that they are probably stressed out because they want to help their son and it sounds like this med is not working for him.  My outsider opinion is be careful! I can tell that you really care about this boy, So you don't want to do anything that would have the parents push you away!
My mother put her nose in where it didn't belong and to this day I tell her very little of what is going on! She jumped to the conclusion that I wasn't capable of figuring out what my sons medical needs were and tried to dictate to me what she believed they were. You know what? Some of what she said was true... but as the mother of my child... I figured it out on my own and much more...and I would have without her annoying arguments.
You need to give the parents some time to figure this out.

Here are some of my found facts....

When you medicate a child with ADHD, it takes a while for to find the right dosage and right med....this can take months! Don't assume that the parents don't see what you do.

Once a child is medicated they notice things that they never did before... this can cause them to react to certain situations differently and basically act different.

There is nobody that can tell how a child is reacting to medical therapy better than the parents/caregivers or teachers.

I think that it is great that you are so concerend for your nephew! But you need to sit back quietly and let his parents be parents for a while... and by a while I mean at least a year. You are coming here to build up your case on how they are raising their child wrong... and it is going to back fire in your face whether you are right or wrong!

No disrespect intended, but for now, this is their buisness not yours.



Cindy38357.8796643519I'm just an outsider but the story is close to what I have to deal with with my daughters school. I do not have her on any meds at all. I took her to a Dr that told me she has ADHD may have been caused by high lead lvls. She has a Mobile therapist and a TTS worker that help her with her school activities such as staying on task respecting others and their stuff ect. Have they tried this before the meds? To many people are quick to do what schools say rather then look into other things to help that don't involve drugs. I personaly think a therapist is more helpful then all the drugs out there. For me drugs is a no win situation. Lots of reminders and help from family is helping my baby a lot I hope they find something that works for them. I would never want to see anyones child just sit there blank.

EmeraldMom76 wrote:
I know from the research I've done so far that anorexia is a side effect,

Anorexia is not a side affect of stimulant medication. It is a disorder within itself. Those that are anorexic see themselves as overweight and refuse to eat. However, lack of appetite can be a side effect when taking stimulant medication. Those starting ADHD medication go through a trial of meds before the right dose and the right med is found Whether the child is reacting that way due to finally being able to focus in on the world around him or is over medicated, that should be determined through the parents in collaboration with the childs physician.

Oloveia wrote:
To many people are quick to do what schools say rather then look into other things to help that don't involve drugs. I personaly think a therapist is more helpful then all the drugs

In all my years of dealing with ADHD issues, I dont know anyone that put their children on medication based on a schools recomendation and I dont recall that anyone that posts here regularly has done that either.I also dont know anyone that has not tried anything and everything before they made a decision to put their child on medication. The media, talk show hosts and the newspapers are famous for spewing such garbage. Whether parents chose to medicate or not, its a personal decision but therapy never stands alone when treating ADHD as it is used in conjunction with medication to acheive the best outcome possible.. Therapy is one of the many tools used to treat AHD issues and there is no concrete evidence that lead causes ADHD. Im glad to hear that the intervetions you are using are working for your child and like you, every parent knows whats best for their child.. Good luck

Luvmykids0238359.8770949074Sounds like he is over medicated. When you find the right meds it helps with focus and hyperactivity but never changes the persons personality. If you usually have a silly, creative nephew then he should still be like that on meds. The only difference should be that he can be silly and creative while sitting at the dinner table with others instead of bouncing around the room while you eat.