I'm sending hugs your way!
My son is also on Ritalin and Tenex (actually he's on the generics of both). My son also has anxiety and the stimulants aggravate it. It got sooooooooooo much better once we added the Tenex. It's seemed to do the trick with his anxiety. I mean he's not perfect but no kid ever is! 
I feel for you so much looking at the list of your family! I only have one ADHHHHHHHD kid and it's so difficult. I couldn't imagine trying to handle 2 kids and hubby too! Good for you for being so involved and getting your kids the help they need! 


I hope the Tenex works for you-but remember it isn't like a stimulant. It's not fast acting. It has to build up in the system. It took several weeks for us to see any benefit. Please keep us posted!
Adding Tenex was a good thing for my son as well. It helped his sleep, took away tics and brought back a lot of his sense of humor.