Help! Defiance is worse than ever! | ADHD Information

My daughter's defiance is at it's worse when her ADHD symptoms are not controlled well.   With the right medication at the right dose,  I am usually left with "normal" preteen/teenage defiance and not the out of control state were get in without meds or the wrong type/dosage.   I'd recommend taking another look at her medications - especially if the defiance is getting worse or became an issue when she started meds.

My daughter is 8.  Her defiance was getting overwhelming, just like you sound.  They increased her meds and it got even worse.  I took her off and my sweet child is back.  She is hyper and can't focus as well, but she is nice and seems more normal in the types of things that you are experiencing. 

Now we are on the search for new meds or other remedies to help with the ADHD.  Unfortunately, it is even harder as all except Tenex that we have tried so far have given her tics.   The Tenex though was making her such an angy and defiant little person - it was scaring the heck out of me. 

We have been drug free for a week and I can't believe the difference in my kid  - but her grades this week were horrible, which they had been really strong.    I still don't know what my answer will be. 

 

 

My 8 year old daughter with AHDH has become increasingly defiant over the past couple of months.  Everything from getting dressed, eating, doing homework, brushing teeth results in her screaming at me (and sometimes worse).  I can't get her to do anything.   I am also getting notes from the sped teacher that she is also giving them a hard time.  She is on 2 doses of long acting focalin which works great for her attention.  Is the defiance part of ADHD or does it have to do with the meds?  I see the counselor next week but in the meantime I am going insane.  I am very familair with behavior mod, token economy systems, etc. and nothing is working....feeling very beat down.  Anyone experience such levels of defiance and how do you deal?

Thanks!

I have a 5 year old son who drifts from exceedingly defiant to somewhat controllable.  During the defiant times he is physically and verbally abusive to me and my daughter....and he's 5!!  We walk away....and keep moving until the spell passes.  For the screaming, I ignore it and do something else until he talks in a respectful manner.  Most of the time the spells wind down with him sobbing and then is okay. 
I know the beat down feeling....have cried my eyeballs out the past two days because he has been completely uncontrollable.  He just started Strattera a few weeks ago so we haven't been on it long enough yet to say whether it's the cause. But this has been going on for several years now and some days are easier to handle than others.  The hardest part is not losing my temper along with him but when I do control my temper, the spells do seem to last less time.
I hope this helps and I hope the counselor can give you some good suggestions too.  Would love to hear what they tell you.
Good luck and remember, you are not alone.  There are a lot of parents out there dealing with similar issues.  We just gotta keep building each other up.

 

jenndyson,

Your son is very young. I just wondered if your son could be depressed or have bopolar, just wondering.

Has the strattera helped? We had trouble with the side effects of strattera - depression and suicidal thoughts - my son was 8 and it had to be stopped due to him telling me he wanted to kill himself. Be careful, keep an eye on him.

I am fortunate that I haven't dealt with this stuff, just now the preteen puberty with a 12 yr old.

I was thinking it was a "tweenager" thing here -- DS almost 11, and you would think I had threatened him with a prison sentence when I ask him to brush his teeth. Sheesh.

Sometimes I think I play a part by becoming "naggy" -- trying to make sure he does the things ADHDers are apt to drift away from -- but this morning I know I was just as relaxed and cheerful as could be, and all on his own he started fighting with me. Before I was even in the room!

I honestly don't think *anything* happened to trigger it, he just became defiant & it lasted for an hour or so and it was over.

Of course now that he's happy again, I'm exhausted!!

Does anything work other than riding it out?

My son had some of the defiance when he wasn't medicated but the defiance got worse when we were trying to get the meds right.  And no, there was nothing we could do except ride it out!  NOTHING worked!

When his medication is correct we don't have problems like we used to have.  Just "normal" defiance.

momofgirls, you definitely need a medication check.  It's possible she's "rebounding" because the meds have worn off too quickly and the next dose isn't in her system yet.  It could be that it's just the wrong med for her.  Adderall made my son angry and defiant but Ritalin is much better.  Also, she may need a combination of meds to help.  Like with my son, Ritalin works very well for the hyperactivity/impulsiveness but aggravates his anxiety which makes the defiance worse.  So he takes Tenex along with the Ritalin and it calms those side effects. 

What you're describing can be helped! If this doctor can't help, find another one!  Good luck!

Positive reinforcement? Lots of praise when she does something, anything, right? Random compliments? momofgirls - my son had a lot of aggression when he was withdrawing from Adderall XR in the evening hours.  So, maybe it could be a type of withdrawal symptom during the day if it's not a long acting med. 

Also, is she on any type of allergy med?  My son was on Zyrtec and Singular, and they were causing behavior and anixety problems.  I weaned him off and started giving him Stinging Nettles for the allergies. 
Thanks everyone for your responses -- I am obviously in good company judging by the responses from all of you!  I still haven't decided what I am going to do about it.  We see the counselor on Thurs so we'll see what she has to say.