stressed and fustrated!!! | ADHD Information
Want to thank everyone for the advice and information. I am making an appointment with his pediatrician to evaluate his meds to see if we can boost his appetite as well as make them last longer to have better evenings. I did try to find a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD but the closest on is in another state a little over an hour away. So we will try the pediatrician first and if that doesn't do it then we will make the trip.
Thank You, Thank You will keep you all posted on any updates!
twinsx2 a 504 or IEP are education plans set up with the school to help your child learn. Children often have learning disabilities, things that get in the way of their learning to the best of their ability. The school will address these and set up accommodations for that individual so that they learn.
You go through an evaluation process first to see if the child meets the requirements then you work with your TEAM, the teachers for that grade year, the school therapists (like Occupational therapy, speech, etc) teacher aides, principals attend, and the head of the department for your school. You discuss what your child needs to help them in the classroom, and during school time - even special consideration in like gym or art.
Please let us know if you have any questions. There are lots of threads on this in the ADHD/schools section!! 
My son had trouble at first when we began the meds. He is on concerta. he also takes guanfacine which helps him with impulisive behavior and it helps him eat and sleep. It relaxes him. I wonder if the meds he is on right now are at the correct dosage? Or maybe try a short acting after school.
My son is 12 and now at 108 mgs of concerta and 1 mg of guanfacine.
Who is your prescribing doctor? Once you get the meds right, he should have a successful day.
I think we need to tweak his meds. What is he taking?
Joseph is on 20mg of Focalin XR and he takes it once a day. He takes it at 6:45 am then by the time he gets home from school which is about 3:45 it has worn off. I didn't realize that there were so many choices of meds! He see's his regular pediatrician and he has been on the same medication since he was 6 and it the dosage has been raised 3 times (5,10 and now 20mg). I also didn't realize that there were other different types of meds that will help with his appetite, because he currently barely eats then when he gets home from school he is eating non stop and sneaking food. I think that it is time to reevaluate his meds.
I can't thank you all for the info.
Now to try and get into the dr's right now the swine flu has all the apointments!
Jamie (feeling better
)
Have you ever looked into a specialist in adhd? We see a psychopharmacologist who prescribes the meds. He is also a psychiatrist, but we use him as our pharmacologist. He knows these meds inside and out, and what goes with what, etc.
I wonder if concerta would work LONGER for your son? And if guanfacine would control his impulsiveness? just a thought!!
I wish you all the very best and let us know if we can help any further!! I know that once our meds got to where they needed to be, our home and school life was soo soo much better. I didn't worry about things once I left the house!!
I am a mother of 5 and my 9 year old son is ADHD and my house is almost always chaotic. I have tried being strict I have tried backing off a little nothing seems to bring peace at my home. I am starting to feel resentful towards him and that is very upsetting to me and my husband. I am his mom and I love him so much but there is very little time to be his mom instead I have to be the police all the time. He lies and sneaks all the time it is so fustrating. I feel so bad that I have these feelings towards my own son. I am scared of what kind of teenager he will become especially if he is sneaky already! I need to figure this out before it is too late. I sometimes think that we are the worst parents for him and that we are ruining this smart wonderful little boy. He hasn't made any friends yet and when he asks to go over to someone's house I am afraid to let him go because I am not sure how he will be taken, so I always make excuses as to why he can't go. I am not doing a very good job and I am very sad at my ability to cope and raise my very special little boy. Any suggestions are appreciated.
Jamie
First of all if your son truly has ADHD YOU are not doing this to him!!!! And what is happening to him he CANNOT control! You are a good parent! Otherwise you wouldn't love him or care for him so much. Bad parents don't come to message boards for help!
Is he currently seeing a doctor? Is he on medication? Are you comfortable with his diagnosis of ADHD or do you doubt it? The only reason I ask is some parents get the diagnosis but feel there may be something else going on and ADHD usually comes along with other disorders. Mine is ADHHHHHHHHHHD, and has sensory integration disorder, anxiety etc... Sorry for all the questions! Just trying to help! Hang in there and stop being so hard on yourself!!!!!
Is this child medicated? Have you had any communication from the teachers to how his day is going?
Are friends inviting him over or is he asking to go and play with someone?
Sorry for all the questions, I just want to help and answer you back with some helpful information.
I am the mother of a 12 yr old who is very adhd and impulsive. He was diagnosed just shy of 5 and medicated just shy of 7. We suffered labeling due to not medicating soon enough and we live in a small town that is very gossipy, catty, etc.
My son has sensory integration in additon to speech delay. He is now on a 504 plan but was on a IEP. He is an A student and doing well.
I feel like I have been around the world with my son and our experience.
I would love to help but not sure how to jump in. Please let me know how I can help your son and you!!
HARD to believe but other folks feel the way you do. So we want to offer what has helped us. this board is very positive to offer support so I'm glad you posted, you are on good board with folks tha are also dealing emotional medications and issues.
Therapy is a great place to start. you can get real professional advice,especially if you choose one that specializes in ADHD. further family counseling can help parents cope and learn new skills to understand the disorded. it also helps establish boundaries and expectations. thing is youre probably already doing these things but family counseling can put a method to it.
It sounds like
Logan'sMom say's
truly has ADHD YOU are not doing this to him!!!! And what is happening to him he CANNOT control!
so it is good to know who is on youre side and helping you.
the first key is the right diagnosis
the right meds
therapy and emotional support from parents.
development of coping skills
there is much more but those are the basics.
structure and routine help with consistency
learning many approaches helps with defiance
a little understanding of emotional developmennt can be a help to select the right kind of playmates .picking playmates by age alone isnt .. well there aare ways of picking playdates by thier emotional age .
in addition using structured activities with supervision helps to distract frustrations while bonds are being created.
.welcome to the board im glad you posted .
Thank you all for such great advice and for being so supportive. Welcome twinx2 - we are here to help so please provide more information so that we can further help youi through such a difficult time. Your concerns and worries about teenage years are very valid and its not too late to get effective treatment. Write back when we can as we are here for you
Thnk everyone for responding! To answer the questions, I have 5 children, two 4 year olds, two 9 year olds one of which is the adhd child and a 12 year old. I do feel comfortable with his diagnosis we went through all the proper channels when he was five ( teachers, doctors, and pychiatrist ) to get the diagnosis. He was put on meds ,Focalin XR, and has been since he was about 6 years old. He does really good at school straight A's and his teachers love him but he is medicated during that time. He does ask to go over to other childrens houses but he is not invited so I am not sure how much is him wanting to go and how much is the other children wanting him to go to their homes and play with him. I am thinking that it is Joseph and all his doing. And I have a really hard time letting him out of my sight because he has really bad impulse control. For instance last night during trick or treating he thought that it was appropriate to kick someone in the face because they scared him! He knew that the person was laying there scarying people but he did it anyway. Thank goodness that it was not hard enough to hurt the man. We moved from a big city to a small town and I can only imagine when the lableling will start. The good thing though is he really does do well on the meds to control himself but still is unable to socialize with other children. besides once out of school his meds wear off and the he goes haywire. and I don't want him out of my sight at that point. Maybe I am holding him back. When we lived Houston he was in a daycare (which they don't have any idea how to handle ADHD children) and I think he developed some self esteem issues because he was labled the weird kid. I just want him to have some what of a normal social life and not sure how to help him with that. What is the 504 plan or IEP? I do think that we need to look into other methods of coping along with the meds. because when he is medicated he is one child and when he is unmedicated he is a completely different child. and we get the unmedicated child alot which makes for a very turmoil excistance in my home. Even the other children are fustrated!
P.S. I think that my 4 year old is showing some signs of adhd hope I am wrong!
Thanks for any info and your experience Jamie & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp;
Unless there is some sort of special circumstance, there is no reason he needs to be "unmedicated" during the hours that he is awake. I know that some people don't agree with me but it's my opinion that if your child is ADHD (not ADD) and needs meds then they should be on them all the time! He doesn't stop needing them just because he's not in school. You can see that by the problems he's having outside of school. Definitely contact the doctor see if this is possible.
My son is on his medication from the minute he wakes up until he lays down to sleep-7 days a week! His behavior is just TOO bad to go without medication. Like your son, his self esteem started to suffer. "Other kids won't play with me" "I'm stupid" "Billy says I can't come over because I'm always in time out". If you son's self esteem is suffering then get help fast! Especially if you are in a small town. It's been my experience that if the medication isn't right then none of the other techniques work (behavior modification, reward system etc)
Good luck and keep us posted!
Does your son have trouble going to sleep at night due to the meds if not what kind is he taking? I am afraid that if he takes his medication too late that he will have trouble going to sleep (because it is a stimulant).I know a lot of kids have problems sleeping if they take medicine too late in the day. Thankfully, my son has never had this problem! 
He has enough other problems! What time does your son take his last dose during the day? I'm not that familiar with Focalin but I'm assuming that the "XR" means extended release. When my son was on Adderall XR he also took a "booster" dose of the short acting type after the XR wore off in the afternoon. My son is now on Ritalin the short acting type and takes 4 doses during the day.
I have a friend who's son is on the long acting Ritalin but needs a booster in the afternoon. It does effect his sleep unless they time it just right. Also, some medicines effect sleep more than others and each child is differenmt. Again with my friend's son, if he takes Adderall XR and a booster he's up all night but he can do it with Ritalin.
I've also heard of people adding Tenex to help with the overall calming effect and to help sleep at night. My son takes Tenex but it's not for sleeping. It helps the side effects he gets from stimulants. I've also heard of other people adding Clonidine to help with the sleep issues. It's supposed to be stronger than Tenex. Even if your son has trouble sleeping, there is help out there! You just have to have a good doctor and be willing to keep trying until you get it right!
I agree with Bethann that a specialist is best for medication management. The pediatricians don't seem to know as much and things take MUCH longer to stablaize if the doc isn't confident in the meds! My son sees a psychiatrist and the difference between her and his pediatrician is huge! When we went to see her I had never heard of a psychopharmacologist but since then I've heard that they are even better than the psychiatrists.
I'm so glad you are feeling better! This problem sounds like one that can be fixed fairly quickly with some med adjustments. Hang in there and keep us posted!
Hang in there and work with the doctors. I dont have her on her afternoon meds when she is at home. She does fairly well without them and I keep her busy. But during school, she does need them. When I know we are going to be on a road trip or visiting people, I do give her the full dose of what she needs. But around the house, she does ok.
csmom, I would definitely ask the doc about those 2 hours in the morning. Maybe a short acting dose can be given to her as soon as she wakes up then she'll get her regular dose at 8am. Unless there is some unique circumstance she (and you!) shouldn't have to go through Hell every morning unnecessarily! Seems like it should be a easy fix! Good luck!