Hating his teacher vent need advice | ADHD Information
I would go right to the principal and demand a meeting. Being ignored is notacceptable. I was having a similar problem with my daughter's teacher and
went to the principal with a request for a meeting. The squeaky wheel gets
the oil. janie1234... I have to agree with you. Teachers need to be educated with how to handle children with these problems. I'm a licensed teacher in VA and there were no classes required on how to handle discipline issues or children with ADHD.
I can't work now because my son is having so much trouble with school, and I've been homeschooling him for about a year. I tried hiding the fact that I was a licensed teacher first because I didn't want them to think that I was trying to tell them what to do. I would make suggestions on what I thought would help my son and they wouldn't do it.
The paper trail is so important when dealing with teachers that are not on the up and up. I had a problem with one teacher that my son would tell me she was saying things to him that was not appropriate. When I confronted her, she denied it, so I asked some students in his class that I knew outside of school and they confirmed what my son had said. He may not be able to behave "normally", but he is honest about what he does, so I knew he wasn't making it up. Trust your child.
It makes me mad to this day that he had her as a teacher, but she was the "fun" teacher and a teacher that all the "normal" kids liked.
Be cautious about your teachers. You can tell when they really want to help and when they just want to complain about your child until you medicate them.
I'll be a different teacher when I do return to teaching.
If you don't get responses from your emails in a timely manner, do hesitate forwarding to the principal for a response. My sister-in-law does it all the time and you wouldn't believe how fast teachers get to moving.
I'm always looking and asking about next years teachers to see what they are like and if I need to ask for a specific teacher. I've only asked for one teacher that my 2nd son and it turned out really well. The teacher was so good, it just boosted his confidence so much that he stopped crying about school. Until that year (1st), he had cried pretty much every day during PreK and K.
Honestly, I wouldn't hesitate asking to move my son, if I thought the teacher was not helping and had this attitude.
Please let us know what progress you make. Sounds like the teacher is so full of herself.
Thank you all for your posts. I means so much to me to have a place to go where people "get it". Just to update, I did call a team meeting. My husband was able to attend, which was great....united front and all. Before this meeting took place I spoke to my son's counselour and explained the awkward situation of over hearing my son's teacher. SOOO before our meeting the counselor spoke to her about it. I figured that was the best route, as I want any conversation I have with the teacher to be about my son, not me.
The change in that woman was pronounced to say the least....sunshine a fairy dust all around. I might be reading into things, but I swear his work was coming home with alot more positive feedback than before. I still don't think she gets him, or ADHD for that matter, but at least there was an acknowledged difference in her attitude. Example of her not "getting it": when I asked about peer interaction she volunteer the observation that he just "doesn't seem interested" in choosing a classmate for partnering assignments....her point being that he's just not a social kid. WRONG. I looked her square in the eye and said, "Are you kidding? He is extremely interested but has experience rejection enough that he tries not to seek it out. The is very typical of kids with ADHD and dealing with their social challenges". I swear if looks could kill I'd be dead! (especially because the counselor chimed in and completely backed me up....nicely...but the teacher didn't like it.
The other development has been going to the Pediatric Behavioral Clinic for ADHD at University based hospital. I was able to get a script for Tenex (my pediatricians office says they write scripts for Clonodine ONLY). It has been a positive addition.....but I admit I get a knot in my stomach when I think of this poor kid on 2 meds. I hate it...I'll do it so long as it helps him, but I hate it.
THe doc said DS could be on Vyvanse and Intuiv at the same time.....not too sure about that one.....but I do see the benefit of Tenex
again, thanks for listening
twodoodles40179.8945138889This post is a bit late, I'm new but I had to reply. My daughter is in the 6th grade and so far. During her elementary school years she had only one year that her teachers understood. Both teachers not only had a special ed background but they had something that can't be taught...compassion. I have been talked down to, been made to feel paranoid, crazy, etc. etc. by teachers, principals, therapists, secretaries even the lunch lady for making very reasonable requests to assist my daughter. I can only imagine how they made her feel. One thing that I have found is that loosing your temper (no matter ho justified you may be to do so) just gives them something else to blame you for. Persistence, and communication (even if it is one sided) is the key. Every time there is a problem or something good I e-mail my daughters case manager or teacher (right away-otherwise they'll blame you for waiting too long) and cc is to anyone to whom it pertains. i am very careful about the tone, start with a positive end with a positive, even if everything currently really stinks. Anything in writing is always taken more seriously, because there is proof that a topic was discussed. The good old paper trail. Then if it's not something that can be casually handled to your satisfaction by the case manager then call an IEP. On the more difficult years I resorted to bringing a tape recorder and boy did the entire tone change. You just have to let them know that you are taping. I think the taping ticked them off a bit but I wasn't lied to. I hope this was a little help. I think if you keep a positive and persistent presence in the school this teacher and your child's future teachers will know you mean business. [QUOTE=BPQW]
I hate my son's teacher with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns!
Yeah, his seat is NEXT TO the rug she had called the children to sit on for the lesson. I took a kick boxing class this morning, and I gotta tell you when the teacher said to visualize my target I didn't need to think about it for a second!
**I would just love for this whole process of living with, working around, and advocating about ADHD to be a little easier...okay alot easier.**
Oh my gosh you guys...last year I felt like I hit the lottery with the teacher and this year UGH!!!!! Wyatt comes home with A's and B's yet she says he can't do the work. At the last meeting we had, I asked her, if he can't do the work then was she doing it for him? How's he comign home with the grades he has? Now I think she has it out for us. I feel your pain and will be waiting to read the advice so i can use it too!!! I'm new here, just browsing for some good and informative stuff and posts..
welcome blackchristiand!
Anything going on with teachers at school or anything else?
Please let us know if there is something we can chat about with you. We are all here for you!!
I read here all the time, but have never posted. I couldn't resist sharing since I can relate to your frustration with your son's teacher. My son had the worst 3rd grade teacher. I knew it was the teacher and not completely my son because he had a wonderful 1st and 2nd grade teacher. They always had something positive to say and went out of their way to accomodate my son's learning. However, in 3rd grade he absolutely HATED going to school. He was getting into trouble daily, but always seemed to be while the teacher was out of the room and another student would tattle. He was an A/B student, but his anxiety starting getting the better of him. It was affecting every aspect of his/our life. I finally pulled him out over Christmas break and began homeschooling him. He likes homeschooling so much that I am doing it again this year. This might not be an option for you, but it is a thought.
PS. I found out that another student was also pulled out of the same class over Christmas break.
moorekiddos, you did the right thing and I can read in your post that you know it.
I always find it reassuring when I find someone else dealing the the same stuff. I bet it reassured your decision last year when you heard of another family in the same class pulling out to homeschool as well.
Good for you and your son, I wish you both much success!! 
many people go into for the money or the summers off with
no intentions on actually caring about crap. It is
difficult to know as a parent that your child is not
getting the help they need from the teacher that is their
job to care about giving their class the best education
then can and that means even the students that need a
little more attention. I wish you the best but it sounds
like she is going to give you a lot of problems and be
prepared for her to act like she doesn't know what your
talking about. OK, she has made some MAJOR mistakes and that needs to be discussed. However, I may have missed it, but have you asked for a scheduled meeting with her when there were not students present? It sounds like you have addressed issues with her when coming in or leaving school each day. I am a teacher and I can tell you that the time to talk to me is not when the kids are coming in first thing in the morning or when I am trying to dismiss them. I am tryint to prepare for the day or get kids safely to the right locations so parents have to come second and I may come off as being rude. That being said, i always follow up with the parent privately later. It doesn't sound like this teacher has done that. You definitely need to have a discussion with her, but try to meet with her calmly and at a pre-arranged time before you turn "B***H" as one poster suggested. Also, if your son has an IEP, he must have a special needs teacher involved. Ask her to be a part of that meeting as well.Thanks all for listening to my frustration. I with this could all be easier.
So, I had one arranged meeting with her and kinda surprise her once to for 15 secs as a "Hey, remember he's on a new med today and let me know if you notice anything" secondly to arrange the above mentioned email. Otherwise corresponded by email. I do totally get how its not always good to pop in unannounced, and I have taken that into account....in one email I did make a point of saying that I could only imagine how challenging her job can be with 20+ kids and adding 3-4 IEP kids is just beyond my scope of experience. She has a tough job. I don't think she's a bad teacher necessarily but I do think that there are teachers that are best suited for "typical" children and aren't the best for those with special needs.
I do have a meeting arranged and my son's adjustment counselor (part guidance part psychologist), his OT and teacher will all be there. I have spoken to the adjustment counselor about all of this and she has been wonderful.
I'll post the "results" after the meeting .... thanks all!!
Thanks for the update, keep us posted, we care!! Oh, one more thing...a good thing..
I don't think we have the dosage just right yet, but I think the Vyvanse has had some surprising positive umm...non-effects I guess you'd say...
He actually gets tired, goes to bed and falls asleep! In all his life this has never happened, especially with previous meds. I'm talking arm hanging off the side of the bed, fire alarm couldn't wake him, sleep. I might even try going without melatonin for the first time in 5 years! I hope this doesn't changed!!
He has asked for snacks and seconds at dinner every day so far......usually its just before bedtime that his appetite returns and he scarfs down just before brushing his teeth. He's a bean pole....average hit ...50% but always about 15-20% for weight.
---insert "Happy Dance"....raise the roof....high fives.....yay!!
All those things listed are GREAT things. I am so happy for you all.
Maybe just work the dose?!
Call his doctor and discuss. 
You are a good mom!!
OH honey.. let me tell you my son has been in public school system since he was 4.. and it took us till 1st grade to get a teacher who actually gave a CRAP about him and saw him as MORE than just a problem. Then to top it off my child is gifted which throws a WHOLE nother level of confusion in the mix. I know having the proper medication adjustments is ESSENTIAL..we are still working on those things. I woudl go over the teachers head adn straight to the principal.. its what i had to do.. you make so much noise they HAVE to deal w/ you. I highly agree that there are very few teachers capable of handeling real ADHD kids. THey also need to take a course on just ADD/ADHD for a semester before they graduate.. GOod luck w/ you teacher and i'm soo sorry you have to deal w/ this.UNACCEPTABLE
Call a TEAM meeting RIGHT NOW - this teacher SUCKS!! No other word. She does NOT care about your son, sorry to be blunt but it shows.
she also needs to be reemed for talking about you in front of you to another teacher. I would have called her on it at that moment, by the way. 
That is MY personality.
YOu have a fight on your hands so be ready for battle. Move him out of her classroom and let it be know to EVERYONE, other parents as well, this teacher SUCKS!!
She is also doing this to other children, has in the past and will again in the future. Your child is not the only one. That is why you need to get this out there to parents and staff. She needs to GO!!
I have to ask, is your school district a good one or no?
BETHANN40122.1139583333Okay..hate is a bit strong but at the precise moment I can't think of anything else. I've been advocating consistently for my 7yro son...ADHHHHD Combined Type since he was 3. Not new to being on or nicely pushing the TEAM to get what he needs. BUT this is the first year I've found the teacher to be utterly apathetic to me...him. A little history list.1) she had no idea he had an IEP until I told her and after looking into it found she HAD it but didn't READ it
2) had only once sent home anything that might be considered a progress report, although she and I discussed this and its in his IEP
3)I mentioned he's bright....not mensa material, but constantly inventing, taking things apart reading books on science etc...She said to me weeks later, "You told me once that he was smart but only recently did he seem it"....um, thanks??
4)had popped in after class to check in (see #2) since he had to start title one (fine with me) and asked if he's behind his peer academically...got an enthusiastic, "well, YES!"....thanks for lettin me know lady...his work always looked good and he's able to do his hw almost independantly..how would I have known
5) emailed her to check in ONE other time (I'm not a stalker) she described that "unbeknownst to her he did not join the class for an entire lesson and didn't know how to do the work later"....only 20 kids and she tells me all the time is always with him.....unacceptable...emailed her back
Then today, dropped him off and b4 class went to see her to remind her he's on a new med (Vyvance) she was at the copier and barely turned around to acknowledge me....as I was leaving I heard her and another teacher whispering clearly about me (heard her refer to me but not what was said).
I want to SCREAM!!!! I've never dealt with a teacher like this before. I don't care if she likes me or not, but I don't trust her to teach my son impartially. I'm going to call a meeting....but I'm telling you I need some ideas on how to tell to grow up and put my child ahead of any adolescent reaction she may have to me. What I want to say would not be good. AARRGGGG. Anyone out there good at mediating and have any ideas?
< =text/>_popupControl(); All I can do at this point is commiserate, because I hate my son's teacher with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns! I can't understand why people who think the whole thing is all about them go into teaching. What did she mean, he didn't join the class "for an entire lesson"? Where the heck was she, why wasn't she monitoring her class??? This is second grade, right? She couldn't possibly have been standing with her back to the room the whole time, could she?
The only advice I can give is to try not to worry about being a B..itch! Maybe she needs to hear that your son's education isn't all about her, but HIM! My husband recently turned things around on my son's teacher and asked him directly, "If my son isn't getting it, what are you going to do to make sure he's getting what he needs?" Put the ball in her court and make sure she knows there will be follow up, and make sure her superiors know it as well. And remind them all that HIPPA (?sp) regulations require that his medical information remain confidential among the people that YOU agree to share it with. Good luck!