Social Delays | ADHD Information

My son is still really young (almost 5) but I've definitely noticed he's behind emotionally and socially.  It got much better with meds though. Before meds, the other kids didn't want to be around him most of the time.  He was always "in your face", touching others, talking loud, and running around hyper.  Even on meds he still gravitates toward younger kids.  He feels more comfortable with them and when you look at it-he's more like them than the kids his own age but he gets along so much better on the medication! My son is 9, almost 10 but his marturity level is like 5 or 6.  He relates better to girls who are more gentle and younger kids.  He doesn't seem to understand the importance of sharing and taking turns.  If ohther kids, his age, his class, try to play with him he will essentially ignore them then wonder why he has no friends.  He is frequently alone aon the playground by his own choice it seems.  The regret I have is that we are now looking into "social skills therapy" and I wish I woould have done it much sooner. 

Hi,

I seem to read over and over about our kiddoes being socially behind their peers.  

My son struggles socially with his peers, too.  That was part of what led to his PDD-NOS diagnosis.  The PDD diagnosis itself was "by the skin of his teeth;" he barely met the criteria for a diagnosis that essentially says that you don't quite meet the criteria for autism or aspergers... 

Would others on the board be willing to share their experiences with social delays?  What does it look like in your child?  How has it evolved over the years?  How did it look at an early age vs. now?  Is there anything you did to help that you'd erase if you had to do it over again?  Are there any interventions that really worked?

Thanks in advance!!!

   

I didn't get any "social skills therapy" and my childhood/teenager years were riddled with social problems.  Even as an adult, I've struggled with keeping friendships and relationships (been married, divorced and then widowed by second husband).  I have to work really hard at my friendships - probably more so than non-ADHD people because I don't always pick up on appropriate social cue.  It's gotten better as I've gotten older - adults seem to be more accepting.

I'm glad you're able to get the help your child needs.

Tarina, I think you will get a more accurate evalu. on your son if you tried meds.

My son is now 12 and is totally different on meds than he is when they wear off. He is a A student, shy, quiet, sensitive, compassionate, teachers LOVE him, and the girls. BUT when the meds wear off, he is loud, impulsive, obnoxious, unacceptable words come out of his mouth, etc.

The REAL him is when he is medicated, when they wear off, the adhd comes out, which he can't control.

He has been medicated since 7 and what a difference. The only thing that got in his way was the stigma of being labeled that followed him through elementary school.

He is now in middle school and doing better socially.

I am not a doctor, nor a med pusher, just a mother who loves her son!

Hi Susan,  my son has ADHD and possible mild autism/aspergers traits. My son suffers socially as well. My son is immature for his age (not long turned 8).

Yesterday a/noon at my kids school at end of day when all kids out my son stood there talking very loud  and in a silly, baby voice and kids were looking at him (along with some of the adults) and I had to abruptly tell my son to stop as it was embarrassing.

My son dosn't have any friends that he can have playdates with and in fact, my sister live's around the corner and we are close. She has 9 yr old twins (boy & girl). Her boy is a quiet, placid, timid boy and as my son is bossy, overbearing they don't really get along (no requests on their part for playdates with my son). My son has had his cousin in tears too many times for there to ever be a close realationshiop there (sad yes as they are cousins). My sister's daughter however, displays very mild add and very mild aspergers traits and she would get along better with my son and find his silly antics amusing.

My son cannot read social cue's at all and if children at school dont want to play with him he will follow them and pester them.

I am also looking at what to do in this area. I beleive your son has recently started taking Risperdol...............does this not help in that area?

My son's not on any med's yet but I am considering as I thought they may help with the social aspect and I do think this is an important aspect too.

Tarina

 

Before medication my daughter had very few friends and spent most of her time in the house alone.  She was scaring all the kids away with hugging them too much, hitting them and saying weird comments.  She has been on the medicine about 7 months and now she has some play dates, friends in the neighborhood to play with and got her first invite to a birthday party to a new friend she met at school.  She is excited.  She still keeps to herself and would rather play with one other person than a whole group.  She is happy now and is content which she was not before the medicine.  I truly believe like Bethann said that medicine brings out the REAL person.  Sometimes it is almost unbearable in the AM until the medicine kicks in.  She marks up walls, cuts up various clothing pieces, and jumps on the furniture.  Then the medicine kicks in and we can get her to take a shower and reason with her.  Sometimes I have her take it when she gets home from school because before she goes to bed her medicine has worn off and it almost next to impossible to get her to take a shower and brush teeth. One of the reasons my son takes Tenex is to help with the mornings before his meds kick in.  He takes a dose right before bed.  You may want to look into that energize37...it helps take the edge off until the stims start working.