Attitude....help please | ADHD Information

I need advice on how to deal with MAJOR defiance,meltdowns,mouth. DS 7yo since being on new Intuniv 2mg has improved all but the attitude. He is so argumentative to simple requests, crying fits when we discipline,tantrums when he is frustrated. It seems like he is more short fused than usual and gets mad/sad at the drop of a hat.IE: Total meltdown bc he was trying to fold cardstock paper into 2 equal halves and bc it already had been bent wouldn't fold correctly. He was upstairs banging on the floor enraged. I called him down and then he had a crying meltdaown at this "stupid paper".Total calmness settled him but patience is growing thin over these simple things.

How can I stop the behavior without causing more blowups.I know it is xmas and he is wound but we cannot take it. I almost though of leaving 1 present and a note from Santa explaining why he only got 1. Bad mom I know.

Does he seem worse since starting the Intuniv?  Do you think it's something caused by the medicine or is it something that was there before and the meds just aren't addressing?

I cannot say for sure but it seems to be a bit worse since the meds started. The other sx's are mostly gone so I don't know if it is just more noticable now.He is also SOOO tired.Falls asleep on the bus in pm,in car for errands,just seems/looks tired and sad.

I hate to say it aloud but I'd rather have the hyperness than the meaness. I have come to terms with the fact that he needs meds to help function but I also feel like I am stripping his personality too.Is that weird?

MAW51121,
The doc put my son on Concerta, Zoloft, and a sleep aid. I chose not to use the Zoloft,or the sleep aid, I may end up having to use the sleep aid, but as for the Zoloft, I felt too many meds at once. I was not comfortable with Zoloft too. As for my son not getting excited, I do understand, my sons enthusiasm went away it seems. I feel like he doesn't smile the same, if that makes any since. I tickle him and he doesn't give a belly laugh, he politely asks me to stop. But then I know that ADHD kids need constant stimulation and with the meds he does not require that anymore. So I do understand what you are saying, it seems like they turn into little non emotional adults. I do however take my son off the meds on the weekends and during school breaks. I feel like his little body needs a break, and I personally only use the meds for school purposes. I can handle my son, he does drive me nuts at times and others, but in school he needs to succeed. So I am as confused as you are. I just don't feel completely comfortable with the concerta. It does wonders while he is at school, his teachers make comments about how well he is doing, but then again i feel that the schools don't provide enough attention to ADHD kids and can only handle them with meds. I am actually moving to a small town in March to get my son in a smaller school with smaller classroom sizes so he can get the appropriate attention he deserves. I feel large schools just don't have the patience and its truly unfortunate. I don't have my son on meds today, and he is needing constant attention, he is talking non stop, repeating his questions, bouncing off the walls, but EATING GREAT, and LAUGHING AGAIN!!! I do feel like my little boy is back today, but when school goes back in session he will need it again, and when he goes to visit his dad in a week he will need it there too because his dads wife can't handle Alex. So its all up to the parent to make the right decision. I just wish there was something that was not as strong, and something that did not completely change my sons behavior into perfection during the day. It feels like society has forgot that kids are kids and they just expect too much from them,and they suffer in school because the teachers won't give them the appropriate attention they need. Sorry about the rambling but this is such a chaotic situation to talk about, and a very emotional one since it is my child. I am sure you can understand.

maw51121, I think the Ritalin is what controls his impulsivness.  Maybe you should ask the doctor to do one of the stimulants with the Intuniv.  Even one that you've tried before may work now if he takes it with the Intuniv.  It's supposed to smooth out the side effects of the stimulants. It does that very well for my son.

Allimom, I'm not familiar with the medication the doctor gave your son but my son takes Tenex which is a blood pressure medication.  One of the "good" side effects from it is better sleep. Many doctors prescribe it to help kids on stimulants sleep.

If your child's medication is working properly his personalilty should not be different!  If it is then the meds are wrong!  Also, I know it's scary to put your kids on medication at all much less more than one at a time, but if your doctor prescribed it then he/she must think  it will help.  I just mention it because my son didn't hit the right meds until we did Ritalin and Tenex together.  So sometimes it's necessary!

I forgot

maw51121, "hyperfocus" is common among ADHDers.  They can't focus most of the time but when they do they have a hard time stopping.  That is probably why your son can sit and play by himself for a long period of time.  He hyper focuses.  Does he get mad or aggitated if you interrupt him? 

Allimom-It's nice to hear you are able to take him off the meds when he is home. I would like to be able to do that too. I totally understand and agree with all you said. I feel too that I am drugging him so others can manage the fact that he is more vivacious than others kids. It is hard on us to handle him at times but I don't want to change him either.

Logan's mom-Maybe he does hyperfocus...he doesn't seem to get mad for interrupting but takes him a while to pull himself away. He is extremely creative and imaginatory in his play.Uses up all my tape,string,staples,paper,etc.:)

Waiting for md to call back so we can discuss changes. I don't even know what to ask other than advice on if we should change to something else or wait it out.It is so unbelieveable frustrating. I feel so helpless all the time now.I read that adhd poem on the board.It is sooooo good and sooooooo true.It reminds me of why I fight for him so.

I'll keep you posted.

Logans mom,

Alex does tend to get mad if I interrupt him, but only when he is not on meds. I do agree with you that the doc should know what they are doing when giving meds, but unfortunately doctors make a hypothesis and base it off that, then try meds as if our children are Guinea pigs. I know this first hand. My mother is a medical doctor and specializes with kids who have disabilities with learning.She is in CA so it makes it too far away to work with her. She chose to go the natural rout and practice holistic medicine, she has her doctorate but has seen first hand the effects of medications and wrong diagnosis, she believes most can be cured naturally, I agree with her, but holistic meds are not covered by insurance, and have to be given throughout the day as well as biofeedback so...you get my drift.
I am working on my bachelors in Psychology and am finding it very disturbing to how little a doctor knows when it comes to the medicine they are giving our children.   It sounds very similiar to my dd. She also has OCD (Obsessive Complusive Disorder) with her ADHD and sensory issues. Not all OCD looks like we think, with repetivieness. MY dd is one that has to have everything in order, done in a certain way. She can't skip numbers on problems, she is very rigid. The OCD comes out with trying to do things correctly and it frustrating her because she is weak in her fine motor skills. Little things like not folding the paper properly will cause her to "loose it". She is not severe, just has it enough for us and her teachers to realize it. She must be able to finish her work also, or else, if taken away, unfinished, you are just asking for a meltdown.

I hope this doesn't scare you. It was easier to understand her when I knew what we were dealing with. Usually her ADHD medication helps control this some.

AMom2Two,Thanks for the info. When he was 2-4yo I use to call him mini ocd bc he had to have things the way he was used to them...ie:doors that are normally closed needed to be closed. He wouldn't have a fit,just fix it right. We have been told he has oc tendancies but not ocd,meaning that he likes structure and order. That stems from us being told that structure is good for adhders. He seems more at ease if he knows what is up with things.I KNOW he gets this from me as I use to be way ocdish but not so much since having 2 boys!!Things like straight and tidy sheets at night and stuff where they go,etc.However he can be a slob too:(

I am excited that we start Strattera tomorrow now that he is weaned off Intuniv. I just have to patient that it will work in a few weeks. I am ready for him to lose the attitude.He is way better off the intuniv but still can use a permanent adjustment if you know what I mean.

Keep u all posted

No that's not weird at all!  If the meds are stripping his personality then they aren't working right!  I would contact your doc right away.  If this behavior is a side effect of the medication it needs to be dealt with right away.  If it's not a side effect then the meds need to be adjusted or changed.  Either way you should be able to get your doc to act soon.  You may have already said this somewhere but has he tried stimulants at all?  My son is on Ritalin and Tenex and one wouldn't work without the other...

My son acted like you are describing when he had rebound from Adderall.  If his dose was too low it was even worse!  We ended up having to switch to Ritalin and the rebound went away. When he wsa having rebound NOTHING helped.  No techniques worked.  We just had to ride it out.  I really don't know if Tenex/Intuniv can have the same type of effect or not but it's definitely worth asking the doc about.  Good luck!  I hope it gets better for him (and you!)

Thanks

It truly is making him not him. I am to call ped today at 130pm so I hope to change things up. He has taken Concerta (made him manic) Focalin (itchy side effect) and Clonadine (drugged stupor @pm) so far. Been on Risperdal for 3+ yrs and gave him tics,never to go on again.

We are mostly looking for something so ease the impulses and defiance symptoms more so than the hyper. Problems stem with arguing and impulsivity.

Do you think the Ritalin or the Tenex works for the impulses? I'm so unfamiliar with which do which.Intuniv was suppose to help with impulses.

I bought the marbles to start to reward system for him to work on the attitude at home. I'm hoping it will curb the mouth and meltdowns.

It's sad that he does not seem too excited for xmas as he was. Breaks my heart

Hi,
I am a mom to an amazing hipper active 7 year old little boy. I have had very similar issues with my son as MAW51121. MY son was having constant meltdowns, hipper all the time, it was like his gas petal in his brain was always on full speed. I finally went to the doctor about this after he was having trouble in school. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and ANXIETY. They put him on Straterra and we HATED IT!! He got very aggressive, we now are trying Concerta. He has been on it for about 2 mo, he does wonderful during the day and he loves the way he feels on it. The problem we are having is SLEEP!!! He is wired for sound around 7pm. He is up all night, he does not throw a fit, he lays in hid bed wide eyed. My mom is a holistic doctor out in CA, we would go the holistic rout but being all the way in KS we cannot follow a program that requires a lot of attention and biofeedback. We have changed his diet and this corrected his Anxiety issues. As for ADHD concerta works well. We tried melatonin at night and sleepy time tea, this does help him fall asleep eventually but by that time it is midnight. The doc prescribed catapress for sleep this is a blood pressure medicine, we have yet to try it because I am so wary about all the meds at one time. I feel like having him medicated 24 hours a day is crazy. I called my mom in tears I am at my ends wit. We took him off the concerta today and are trying all natural green tea, one cup in the morning and one cup in the afternoon, We are trying this because it is a natural stimulant and it may work to calm him. I am willing to try anything natural so it does not damage his little kidneys or liver. If this does not work then concerta it is again. But I am just as frustrated as all the parents out there about the sleep issue. It is not on wearing on him but me as well. WE ALL WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN! IF anyone has any other advise, my ears are open!!!!! My mom feels very strongly about not medicating children, but she also believes that some children NEED medication to correct a chemical balance. SHE tells me to sue the medication as a bridge over trouble waters, to basically help Alex get through school feeling confident and able to succeed. I agree with her. But am literally at my ends wit the sleep problem. I am going to try the sleep meds the doc prescribed and see how I feel about them, but my gut instinct is pulling me other directions. Medicating your child is such a hard decision. Hi again,
As for stripping your child's personality I completely understand! I asked my mom what she thought. She told me that what the meds do is correct the impulsiveness and attention problems. Thus leading the child to act more there age. Kids with ADHD tend to be immature for there age. They should be able to play quietly at age 7 in there rooms and concentrate on a task and finish it. The meds help the child to be able to pay attention. I think we are so used to being in constant CHAOS mode that with meds our children behave and WE as the parent are not used to it, there for we think our children our changing. And in a way they are, they are acting there age, my son still talks a lot and I am glad the meds did not change this, what I notice is that my child can do things on his own without constant help or saying "mom" non stop, he can work on a project and not get frustrated with it. I hope that helps a little. I do understand thou! Trust me I do!!

Thanks Alimom,

Thats the thing, he has always been good playing alone and calmly by himself for hours. Its when other kids are around that he is off the walls. Or if he is wound up with his toddler brother.

He just seems tired,sad,unexcited,etc. I'm sure that you are right that some of it is getting fast maturity but it just doesn't feel right though.Xmas doesn't even excite him now:(

Does ds take 1 or 2 meds?It seems that most kids end up on 2.Curious.

 

Love the Abilify too.  Completely evened out the nastiness my daughter was sharing with us.  We call it Abilitastic.I understand your situation. My daughter has ADHD/combined type and also impulse control disorder. The meltdowns, moodswings, and defiance which you described could all point to an impulse control disorder. The stimulants (only Concerta... tried 10 others) address the hyperactivity and inattention, but my BIG concern was the defiance. She lost a tooth biting me! Soo... here it is.... ask about Abilify. It has been the ONLY medication to help with her impulse control problem/opposition disorder. We have had to increase the dose 2x over the last year because of growth and a changing metabolism. I don't hear of many kids on this medicine, but it has been a gift from God. It is VERY VERY expensive, but I don't care. Worth every penny when I don't have to cry everyday because I can't take it anymore. A psychiatrist will have to write the script, most pediatricians won't prescribe it. Good luck. nolechick40216.6998032407