New Here With Many Questions | ADHD Information
Hi There,
I'm new to these boards but not to ADHD. I have known since DS was 2 that something wasn't quite right. My family and husband always thought that I was over sensitive to him. Over the past few years, my hubby has finally come on board and realized that his behavior is too much to deal with.
He is 8 years old and is currently seeing a therapist for outbursts and controlling his emotions. This therapist really helps him keep himself together for about 2-3 days after a visit, but then reverts back to his old ways. He is not medicated as of yet (hubby is very nervous about meds) and I for one cannot wait to try the Focalin that has been prescribed.
I have so many questions, but just want to start with one. How can I convince my hubby to at least try the medication? I really believe that our home will be much more peaceful. Every day I absolutely dread 3:30pm when he comes home from school. He is mean, tantrum throwing and irritable to his younger brother and myself to the point where I really wish he had somewhere to go after school. I feel so guilty saying that.............he is such a sweet and kind boy, but spends all of his time being annoyed or BOSSING the entire family around.
I just want to enjoy him more and not count the hours until his bedtime! My husband is so nervous that medication will ruin his appetite, sleep, and demeanor that he's afraid to try.
Any information would be greatly appreciated.
Andrea
Matt's mom40173.6109143519I avoided medication as long as I could. When you're new to all this and go online its down-right frightening because the opinions of opposition are quite powerful. I also do not think any parent ever "likes" the idea of their child needing medication for any reason. I think its because to some it makes those kids different or imperfect. Well...I've seen some perfect "typical" kids that make more than thankful for my son on his worst day.
That being said...I too knew something was up with my son by about 2 years old. I also was told that's just how boys are, I'm over protective yadda-yadda-yadda. We tried everything from B12 to yoga...yeah...yoga...with a 3 year old...with adhd...good times. ANYWHOOOO. By the time he was 3 and on his way to being kicked out of the private preschool and having horrible problems in public something had to give.
He was 4 when we tried medication. On the first day on Adderall he:
1) wrote his name clearly
2) colored in the lines of a coloring page
3) waited his turn at the playground
4) ****didn't have a wet accident in his pants****
5) he sat while I read an entire story.....it had been 1 1/2 years since I was able to do that last
6) he stopped spinning
7) he was happy because others were happy with him instead of exasperated
Because DS's case of ADHD is sooo severe not giving him medication would knowingly set him up for failure, and I could never do that. The way I see it is like this.....he needs medication now so that he can aquire the tools he'll need to someday NOT need it. My kid won't get there without that specific kind of help. No I don't like it, but I remind myself of that first day. I hate to say this, but I got my son back that day. Medication won't make him perfect but it makes him functional. Like I said, my sons case is severe....some kids don't need meds but if they do then they do. DS is 8 this month, and I've talked to him about it so he knows he's not broken, but missing a pinch of something and the meds fill that gap. He also understands that our goal is for him to manage himself sans pills....but that won't be for a long time.
I understand your husbands hesitation and reluctance, truly I do. The hardest part for me was seeing that the medication was all about helping him, not how lousy I feel about it. Good luck to you and making the tough choices. You're doing a great job!
what about yogurt? or you could try pudding. Good luck.For Barbara 09, we had the same problem with our son. He saw the sprinkles on the applesauce, and that was the beginning of a huge meltdown, with no meds ingested after two attempts. Next day we made a game of it, spread the pills out and let him pick one. Then I very carefully put a dab of chocolate ice cream, his favorite, on the bottom of a teaspoon, added the sprinkles, and then covered them with another little dab of ice cream. That was 4 days ago, and he has taken it fine since then, with amazing results. If your child is like mine, once they get it in their heads they are not going to do something, that is usually it!!!
Barbara 09, there is a chewable form of Ritalin called Methylin. My son says it tastes like candy. It's not long acting but should be otherwise the same as the Ritalin LA. If you can't get him to take the capsules this may be an option.
Kathleen0515, how did the grocery shopping go? I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. For a long time I couldn't take my son to the grocery store (and still can't sometimes depending on the day) because he was too big to strap in. I still can't let him walk in the store most times, even though he's medicated. I usually put him in the back of the cart. When I read your post I smiled because only people like us would understand how much it means to go to the grocery store! 
First of all I feel for you soooo much! I know what it feels like! There have definitely been times with my son that I didn't want to be around him at all! And then I feel so guilty that I feel so horrible toward my son! But believe me, it's human nature!
Meds have literal saved my son's life! He started on them very young but he is sever and needs them SO bad! Before we started them life with him was horrible most of the time. No discipline worked...ever! We usually ended up yelling, screaming, and losing our tempers with him. He was so impulsive it was not only infuriating but also dangerous. He would melt down for no reason at any time. We couldn't take him anywhere! He tried pre-school but couldn't do it, even in a special ed class. We tried everything except medication.
What really made us try medication was when his self esteem started to suffer. At three years old he would say things like "I'm bad" "I'm a jerk" "I'm never good" "Other kids don't like me because I'm always in trouble" We knew we had to act fast before the damage was irreversible! Once he started meds...WOW what a difference. I enjoy him now and he enjoys life! It's amazing! I cried the very first day he started the meds. It was that quick and it was amazing! It took several monthys to get it all straighted but we could see drastic results immediately. Right now we are trying to switch him to a totally different med for even better results, but it's nice to know that Ritalin works well enough that we can go back to it if necessary.
I know it's a hard decision to make but in most cases it's a necessary one. It's my opinion that ADHD kids need their medication the same way diabetics need insulin and it's my responsibility to give my son what he needs.
The best way to deal with this decision within your family is to educate yourselves as much as possible. Read, read, read! Read anything you can get your hands on. Especially this message board. There is a wealth of information on this board from parents that REALLY know what you're going through. Just surf around here and you'll find a lot of posts from parents talking about whether to medicate or not. I believe it will help your husband a lot.
Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck! Please keep us posted!
We are having a wild ride right now with Logan. Not horrible but we're going through the process of trying a new med and that is soooo frustrating. His doc has been trying to get us to try Strattera for a while now. She thinks it will work overall better for him because the Ritalin (while it does wonders for they hyperactivity and impulsiveness) aggravates his sensory problems and makes him emotional. She thinks the Strattera will work better for him and if it doesn't we're going right back to the Ritalin.
The problem is Strattera takes about 4 weeks to get the full effect! Arrggg! It doesn't work instantly like the stimulants do. And because of his young age the doc didn't want him on Ritalin and Strattera at the same time to help with the transition. So the bottom line is, he's basically been like he's without meds!!!! I got used to not having to deal with it anymore! It is so exhausting and frustrating! He's like a little flea...jumping around so fast you can't really keep track of him, talking a hundred miles a minute, never sitting still, always hanging on us, I can't take him anywhere not even the park...you know what I mean I'm sure! The good thing is that we are working toward something and if it doesn't get better soon then we're going back to Ritalin. At least we know the Ritalin works! Hopefully if it all works out he will be even more calm and happy than before. It just reminds me how thankful I am that there are medicines out there for him because the alternative is scary!
I'll let you know how it's going...tonight is my anniversary so he's staying at grandma's because we went out. She's probably going to be standing at my door at 6am ready to give him back! 
OMG, your post sounds like it's coming from me! I'm in the same predicament and our boy's ages are the same. We have a script for med's but have not had it filled yet (same thing, hesitant). What is changing both me and my husbands mind's though is reading about ADHD, reading books from the Library and reading post's on discussion/message boards such as this board. My main concern is ...............if ADHD not treated correctly it can easily turn into ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). I also noticed around 2 yr's something up with my son and I've dealt with 6 years (and I hate to say this but it seems like hell!) and here we are at age 8 and he has gotten worse. I've always been under the impression all was ok at school and that's another reason why I held off on med's however a few months ago, things dramatically changed for him at school. Also the fact he is older, stronger, more vocabulary etc...........behaviours worsen. My son displays all those traits (plus alot more!) that you mentioned your son displays. I'm with you on dreading 3pm school pick up and weekends and lengthy school holidays! Had someone said to me 6 yrs ago what my life would be like for the 6 years ahead or the fact that we could have a "so called normal life" for those 6 years on med's, I would have chosed the med's. We are strongly leaning towards the med's, I just don't think we can continue this way. It's no good for any of us in the family or for my son at school. Please read all you can as it has helped me to understand and to tolerate (to some degree) my son's behaviours as I now know he cannot really help it. Keep us posted and vent away here any time you wish.
Tarina
My DS is almost 10 and has been on ADHD meds. since he was 4 1/2. Although we are having a tough time right now I would strongly suggest that you give the meds a try. They made a huge difference in our lives. Meds. can take some time to figure out. The first one you try may not be the one that works best for your son and it may not be the right dose. You may have to change the dose several times to get the desired affect. You may even have to try several meds to find the right one. My DS took Focalin XR for years with wonderful results. It did effect his appetite and he did become thin but the benefits far out weighed the negatives. The good thing about stimulants is that they are in and out of your system quickly. You don't have to wait weeks for them to build up in your sytem to get the desired affect and you don't have to wait weeks for them to get out of your system. Weather to medicate or not is a personal family decison and it may not be right for everyone but I think it's worth a try. Let us know how it goes.
I`m new also hereMy family thinks I`m Paranoid but my 3 year old is showing sign too clear to ignore.
I think it is easier to get intelligent parenting advice from parents that actually have advice based on the knowledge that our children have a couple mental quirks ;]
I wasn`t medicated as a child and I struggled through school until I was 16 and dropped out of middle school... yep middle school.
adhd kids are incredibly smart and talented if all else has failed to produce the results needed for him to manage his disorder than meds are the only thing you can do
I`d say tell him if he is worried about the effects of the meds on his kids remind him the damage that is done by not medicating can be irreversible.
I`m a middle school drop out and I have rehabilitated from 4 different illegal drugs, Finished high school at 21 after 6 years out, got a good job, car, license and Because I never learned to manage my life, my emotions, my money, or my Illness I lost it all...
I`m not the exception to the rule. no father would want their child to endure this and most kids don`t survive it
It will seem a bit dramatic but you are a worried parent so it will be convincing ;]
It's great to see so many parents new to our mesage board reaching out for help and support. Welcome everyone :) Its also great to see members who heve been here a while being so informative and supportive. Thank you all for being part of our ADHD family
I just started our son, almost 6, on Focalin XR Christmas morning, and within an hour he was a different child!!! I faced the same opposition from my husband as you did, but he finally relented, and he is so happy he did! Things are not perfect...he is onlly on 5 mg. which is the typical starting dose, and it wears off in about 6 hrs. He also has a decreased appetite, but we make sure he has high caloric foods when he eats, and he takes his vitamins. If you could just convince your husband to try it, I am sure if he gets the results he will become a believer, just as mine did. Tomorrow, I am so excited that I will be able to take Kendal grocery shopping which is something I have never been able to do since he got too big to strap him in the cart. Good luck, and let us know how things are working out for you!Well I will tell you I am an advocate for medication, as
I have seen first hand what it did for my son. I have 2
ADHD children. My son is now 12, and he started on
Ritalin in 3rd grade. I had been begging for help since
kindergarten, as I did not know what was wrong. I begged
the school for help to no avail. My son thought he was
stupid, he had trouble with friends, and was overly
emotional. He started the meds, and the first day he came
home and said" Mom I actually understood what the teacher
was talking about" I cried. I wish i could of medicated
him earlier, because the emotional trauma caused to his
sweet self esteem was so hard to fix. He was failing in
3rd grade, and now is in 7th grade and in ALL AP classes
and is making A's and B's. My little on is only 3 1/2 and
she just started intuniv, it is a non stimulant
medication. She started on Tuesday, and we actually were
able to take her out yesterday to pier one and she was
perfect, this is huge. She is happier already, she gets
so proud of herself because she is a good girl now. These
kids are so smart, and if we think they do not see that
people, including their parents, can't stand to be around
them, how must that feel to them when they are unable to
control it. The meds give them control. My feeling is we
owe it to our children to give them the best chance in
this world. Good luck and God bless you and your family.My son is 12 and we hesitated to medicate him when his teachers zoned in on ADHD in kindergarden! I waited until 2nd grade and used Strattera and Focalin. It really helped. I made a huge mistake by taking him off for 3rd grade (because I hated the thought of medicating my child, it suppressed his appetite) he had a really bad year, he was suspended 5 times! He has been on medication ever since 4th grade. He is doing well in school and he is in advanced math, science and language arts. he is super smart. so hang in there!
I am reading all the correspondents and my eyes filled with tear. It is comforting to know there other people out there that are facing similar struggles. My 8 year old daughter was just given meds for ADHD and both my husband and I held on to the subscription for two weeks. I did what everyone said and read/read/read and I know now that she needs the medication. I would love anyone help on my next issue- we tried two med already with no luck strattera and concerta, (I heard that you might need to try a couple to get to the right one). The doctor suggests Ritalin LA. My daughter will not take the med. I want to sneak it in her food to see if it works. I know it sounds terrible but I would love to sit with her and talk about it but she gets in a rage, I have tired and tired. So here is the dilemma. Since she will not swallow the pill, we need to sprinkle the contents on food (there little white balls). She will not eat apple sauce which is what they suggested. I was also told the food needs to be cold and she should not bite into the little white balls. I tried to put the contents in her drink, but since there little white balls they sink to the bottom. This is like a puzzle, but if anyone can figure it out it would be a other mom’s (and dad’s). The only thing I can come think of is a little Tylenol, which is thick and sticky, in the morning. I asked the pharmacist and they thought that would be fine. Barbara thanks in advance