My 9 year old son is in the fourth grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD in the first grade and we have tried a number of different medicines. Metadate is what he is on now and seems to be helping.
My son is intelligent with a lot of potential but has no motivation at all to do well at school. When we do homework he gets the answers quickly and correctly but in the classroom his teacher tells me that he does not try to join the class at all. He will try to leave his homework at school and he will try to find ways to get around doing work at home or at school.
His teacher has been great. She emails me daily with behavior and homework reports and I've told her repeatedly how much I appreciate her. (I've had horrible teachers in the past) But she is at her wits end as well. It has gone so far as my son has been disrespectful to her when she tries to get him to do his work.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to motivate an unmotivated kid? I've been using the reward system for years for the behavior end of it and he has become bored with that too.
My son is exactly the same, though he does OK at school usually whenIs he gifted and bored because he is not being challenged? So many of our adhd'ers are brilliant and this is why they come across being lazy, they are simply bored. Some even know more than teachers as they get older.
I think in order to motivate your son, you need to make sure he is challenged.
Just a thought
I can't get my son motiviated enough to be able to challenge him. At school he is content sitting at his desk fidgeting through his stuff. At home he is content staying in his room playing with legos or playing video games. He avoids schoolwork at all costs. He hates school with a passion but I understand that is because with his ADHD he has caused a lot of negative social issues. (Cant keep his hands to himself, says and does inappropriate things) He looks for reasons to call in sick or have me pick him up early from school. The reward system doesn't always work because if he doesn't start the week well, he won't even try the rest of the week. I know he is smart and he does very well with math, but reading and reading tests are a nightmare. And trying to make him responsible for getting his work out of his backpack to his desk? Ugh!!
My son who is 12 plays with the same stuff as yours, BUT he is motivated to get high honors, that is his motivation for grades AND to be successful when he grows up.
The impulsiveness, blurting out things is an adhhhhd thing that my son would do if not for his meds. Meds saved our son's life, honest! He would be in trouble and not mean to be but couldn't control himself. Plus he would get all overstimulated and couldn't self regulate to relax.
Is your son on meds yet?
A couple years ago I ran across a book called The Kazdin Method. It's a research- based method of shaping behaviors used/written by the guy who runs the child behavior clinic at Yale. It's different than other reward programs in that it's very specific about how to implement a behavior modification program that works even for the most difficult children (the book is marketed to parents of "defiant" children, but it works for all). Some of it goes against the grain initially (rewarding them for doing only a part of the desired behavior) but the reasoning behind it is sound- I've found it quite helpful to think of it in terms of dog training.My son is on Metadate now. In the past we have tried Concerta, Focalin, and Intutiv. I think the reason he is so unmotivated about school is because of the social part of it. Because he gets picked on and teased, he doesn't want any part of school. He knows that school is an important part of his future but its hard for him.
I am interested in researching the Kazdin Method. At this point I am open to ANYTHING that helps no matter how time consuming.
I appreciate the feedback!!
Ok, now wait a minute, he is bullied? That is totally unacceptable. I would want to run and hide and not get involved either.