So sad tonight | ADHD Information

Have you looked into Hippotherapy, or something similar? There are some great programs out there that work wonders on self-esteem issues, social bonding, building positive routines, motor skills, etc. It is very important for my DS to feel proud of himself, even if his "friends" don't always like him. He is so emotionally sensitive, and doesn't understand why others might not like his behavior. It just breaks my heart, but I know he needs to develop his own sense of self-worth in order to get through those times. Don't we all just wish we could wave a magic wand and solve our children's problems? I know I do.I also think your son and your family deserve better friends, remember that!!

luvmybabies, I feel for you. Would your friend let her son physically harm someone else? No. Why would she let him child emotionally hurt someone else?

As parents of children with extra needs, we rely on our friends to give us a hand, for keeping an extra eye on our kids. I think that 9 year old's behavior is more a testament to his parents self involvement than his own.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't blame you for being annoyed!

I know what you mean. In our old neighborhood, my son had 2 boys from 2 different houses that he played with and in the end, my son watched them outside and asked me if they forgot where he lived as they stopped coming over completely. He did make 2 friends in the new neighborhood but one of them is really populat and he is always invited to play at others houses where my son cannot go and he is left alone.

He just left to go up the street to play as his friend is there playing. He said " I cannot go up there" and I reminded him that those boys come down the street all the time so he can go up the street if he wants to. I am sure he wont be there long...he never is.

I just watched my 11 yr old son get ignored by one of his (former) best friends.
The family lived next door for several years and the boys played together every day. They recently moved and my son was devastated. They started to grow apart a little throughout the past year as the "friend" started to outgrow my son's ADHD behavior.
The other boy is about 2 yrs younger than my son.
Well, we went to their new home today to visit after school and the boy went and played his DS and told my son he didn't know what they could play. I have other kids as well and they played with the boy's siblings since we all used to be good friends. My son just played with the younger kids until it was time to leave. I saw his friend say "gee, it's time for you to leave soon".
My son doesn't have many friends.
He was so sad in the car on the way home.
I felt so badly for him!

Is your son medicated? That is exactly what was happening to my daughter. The friends she had did not want to play with her anymore. My daughter would just be home by herself and play on the computer with no one wanting to come over and play. We tried a social skills class but that helped very little. Then we decided on medication. Things have changed dramatically for her. Her old friends started to want to play with her again and she is happy. She will never be a social butterfly but has a few friends and is content with her life. Our family life has improved so much too. We are not constantly fighting and have a lot of fun together.

Good luck and you are not a lone. Please keep us informed.

Not to be cold but friends, especially during childhood, come and go. How many friends from grade school do you still have? I know it's hard to not have those playmates. In middle school, I was one of the "pits people". One of three girls in the entire school that everyone picked on. I had no friends at all. Sometimes those friendships grow apart. Kids need help coping with that. Just letting them know that you know he is sad can make all the difference. Without any projections for the future (you know he'll make new friends). I'm 47 and sometimes feel that none of my friends care. The longest friendship I have currently is going on 17 years. Most of my friends where I currently live are less than 2 years old. It's hard to make friends at any age. Just let your son know that it's okay to be sad about the change in the friendship. Medication may help but it is by no means a social cure-all. YOu know not for nothing, but that other child is very rude and ignorant.

[QUOTE=BETHANN]YOu know not for nothing, but that other child is very rude and ignorant.

His mother should have been all over him. I would never allow my child to treat any guest like that, adhd or no adhd.

Is the mother aware?

I would really focus on getting you son involved in something that he really is interested in. Does he play chess, like pokemon stuff, video games? Legos?
There are activities where he can meet new people.

My son did a lot of lego stuff at our rec. He wasn't into the other kids and maybe even vice versa, BUT the teacher loved him. And because my son was so good at all that robotic stuff, he made him his assistant. It was a real self esteem ego booster. I would focus on something to help boost your son's!

I am so sorry for what happened to your boy, I bet he had been so excited to see them again and then all that happens.

Please give him hugs from me!
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Thanks!! I agree! I told my son that I know he would never treat a guest like that! The mom just ignored it. She knows everything about my son because she lived next door while we went through testing, diagnosis, trying different medications etc. He was not misbehaving in their house yesterday. He was asking his friend what they could do and the friend acted like he just didn't have time for my son.
The funny thing about my son is that he is a caring person. As soon as we got home yesterday he grabbed a shovel and started shoveling the driveway for me
( we've had a lot of snow) Well, the mail truck came down our street and got stuck in some snow and my son ran over there and dug the truck out. The mail man was so grateful. My son is only 11, but that the kind of kid he is. He is always wanting to help others... with the exception of his own siblings.
He is on meds. This was one of his only friends. He called the other child his "best friend". I'm annoyed that the mom didn't pay attention, and I'm ready to just write her off.

Hi, I agree with what someone else said. The other boy's mother should have dealt with the situation and been more "onto it" as such. I worry myself more about playdates/friends than my husband does. My 8 yr old son also dosn't have any friends and in fact his same age cousin lives just around the corner from us and he isn't overly fussed about playing with my son. It's hard thats for sure. Candycane

Hi luvmybabies,

Although our little guy is younger than your son (he'll be 6 this month), I can relate, as I'm sure can most parents of kids with ADHD. We have found that getting him involved with organized activities that have adult supervision has helped alot with Kendal's self esteem. There's sports activities, after school clubs, church groups, boy scouts and so on. We do make sure we talk to the adult(s) in charge so that they know beforehand that Kendal might act a little differently, but it really helps because they all seem to be very understanding, and go out of their way to make sure Kendal is treated kindly. My biggest challenge is with the neighborhood boys who are a little older, and I have caught them running away saying "let's get out of here before he sees us". Of course my first inclination was to yell at them, but instead I decided if I was just really nice to them and explained, in very simple terms, that sometimes Kendal isn't able to act as maturely as them, throw a ball as good, ride a bike as well, etc. and that it would be so wonderful if they could help him with the things they know how to do so well. This approach has worked wonders! We have a maternal instinct to want to protect our kids, and even more so when there is a disability. But the truth is, all kids can be mean, and all kids get picked on so it's our duty as parents to fill our child with enough self esteem that when these things happen, it lessens the impact. Find a talent your son has, and do everything to encourage the development of that talent, praise him every day (even on the tough days you can find something he did well!), reach out to some of the neighborhood kids or classmates and set up fun one-on-one playdates...pretty soon you might find some of them will reciprocate!