DS/Ds guilt | ADHD Information

One of the draws of this board, for me, was a reminder that my DS is dear to me. He is a recently diagnosed ADHD/SPD 6 1/2 year-old and I've been feeling guilty. You see, when my DS was two-years-old, his little brother was born with Ds (Down syndrome). I attributed a lot of DS1's misbehavior and tantrums to all the attention and interventions lavished on DS2.
For the past few months, the tables have been turned, but the guilt is still there. If DS1 had received interventions earlier, could some of his sensory issues have been alleviated? If I had paid attention to the fact that something was not quite right, could I have started meds earlier, and school wouldn't have been such a challenge?
I used to even say to myself, "If DS1 had a diagnosis, like DS2, then people wouldn't be so quick to criticize his behavior." Well, now he has a diagnosis, but it came 5 years too late for some of my family and friends who no longer associate with me, because of DS1's atrocious behavior and my "lack" of discipline. I feel so sad that they never could see beyond the outbursts and get to know the creative, entertaining, loving person that he is.
Both my sons have unique differences, but it's taken this board to remind me how dear they truly are to my heart. Thank you.

OneOrTheOther,

I hereby take you off the hook.  You are an attentive, loving, good mother who prioritized her children's needs the very best way she could.  Finding the answers to your son's issues at 6 1/2 is still very early in the game!  I pity the family/friends who choose to no longer be in your life because they think they could do a better job than you.  I say, let them walk one week in your shoes. 

Hang in there!

 

 

OneOrTheOther

Please do not be too hard on yourself.  My son has just recently been diag ADHD and he is 8 yrs old. I always suspected something not quite right and it's taken this long for a diag. Shame on those people (especially family) who don't associate with you as a result of all this.  There you were with both sons with issues and people can critisize! As mamatothestars said.........let them walk in your shoes for a week!

PS: Your post was nicely written........it almost brought a tear to my eye.

Candycane

onortheother, I am so glad you are part of our boards!

those people who had no compassion for all that was served to you on your plate do not deserve to be YOUR friend! Your family, well none of us can pick them but we all deal with them or like me, ignore and do not talk to them.

Please come here and chat with us. Please share your sucesses, and believe me you will have many with BOTH your boys!!

And yes, I am crying!