Neverending struggle
Can the school provide social skills training? My son goes to something called "lunch bunch" which is a small group of kids all with similar social issues. It is lead by a teacher who guides them through social skills lessons, scenarios, roll playing, etc. Does he have an IEP? If he does have them ammend it to include social skills lessons. Usually a speech therapist or guidance counselor can help with this. I would also look for social skills groups, usually run by a psychologist. They are pretty prevalent these days with all the attention that is being given to autistic spectrum disorders. Good luck!
It's been a while since I've needed advice & comfort but here I am again! Our DS is now 7 and has been on meds for ADHD for a little over 2 yrs now and his med regimen is good & works well for us. He was recently also diagnosed with SPD and we are at the end of our 6 wk OT sessions for home help with that. He now sleeps with a weighted blanket & is sleeping much better, he also has a weighted lap blanket for school & a compression vest that is worn during structured times at school and his teacher is very happy with the results while it's worn. The neverending struggle that I am referring to, is the plain & simple fact that even after 3 yrs of being in school with other kids, he is still lacking the social skills to carry on appropriate social play in an unstructured environment. He is struggling on the playground with pushing, hitting and other crazy behaviors. Fortunately, he is at a private catholic school so they are very caring & want to help in any way they can & we're always working together to come up with ideas & solutions. The problem is, he knows right from wrong and will tell you the right thing to do in any scenerio, his a very bright kid & knows all of the right answers, almost as if he's programmed. He just cannot apply the knowledge he has in the given situation. We've tried role playing at home and he does just fine, but again, he's not in the given situation at school with his friends. We've tried asking him questions about different scenerios that may happen on the playground & he answers correctly as far as appropriate behavior, but it never seems to follow thru to the situations when they arise. Any suggestions? I'm going to ask about play therapy at our final OT appt on Thurs, but I'm not sure if they have such a thing in our small town. We don't do as many play dates as maybe we should, more so because I'm apprehesive & not sure how to go about it. Would play dates help? The thing about play dates is that I think they would tend to be more structured and he does fine with structure. Help?!
He does not have an IEP and I'm not sure that the school has anything like what you're referring to. As I said, it is a private Catholic school, so they don't have the same programs the public schools have. We've never done an IEP because they have always worked closely with us on our son's issues and do whatever they can to help him. There is a group of teachers that meet monthly that discuss problems children may be having & they brainstorm for possible remedies, they are meeting today & his teacher plans to bring up some of his issues so hopefully they'll come up with something to try. We have our final OT appt tomorrow & I plan to ask about play therapy or some kind of social skills group and if anything like that is availabe in our town. Yes, he is the hyper of ADHD and very impulsive, which is where he struggles. I think that is why he has so much trouble applying what he knows, he can't control himself even though he knows better. I just feel like no medication is going to fix that. His medication does very well for his hyperactivity and ability to focus at school and home in the evenings but the impulsivity is still there, regardless.For my son, the guanfacine has helped him tremendously, along with age!
Have you tried that? What about an increase?
You know sensory and adhd, going hand in hand, is probably the reason why our sons are this way. My son never had the weighted blanket, but a weighted vest! I know a 19 yr old that has the blanket, prescribed by a doctor and is still sleeping with it's help. This should help relax him, along with deep pressure input.
When you read about sensory, it sounds like adhd. I swear this is why my son has his speech problem!! It is the sense of the tongue, teeth, etc.
Have you ever walked up behind him, not to scare or startle, but put your hands on both sides of his shoulders and push down, you should feel his whole body relax. Try it. 
He may need relaxation techniques to help. Does he have self regulation issues, mine did. Meds really helped mine with this.
Is your son hyper, impulsive? That form of adhd? Playdates had my son all overstimulated, so it was tricky. If you are able to structure and have them follow your lead then they might work. Maybe try it on a weekend.
Please keep us posted as you are figuring things out for him. 
epokey,
Just wondering, my son tried the patch after years on concerta. The patch NEVER kicked in. NEVER!
Do you think the patch is the best for your son? I wonder if another med would help him where they can.
My adhd'er is the KING of hyper and impulsiveness. When he has his concerta and guanfacine, you would never know it! Teachers at school can't believe he has adhd. It blew his science teacher away at our 504 meeting.
Just a thought.
Hang in there, we are here when you need us.
Please, enjoy your vacation away, alone. I haven't had one of those since before our children were born!
My husband and I feel we have lost an entire year of possibly helping our son. It seems as though his medication (Ritalin LA) was not helping him as much as we believed, and now we have to get that re-evaluated due to the school not communicating with us well. We had him privately neuropsych tested at a large hospital, and found that he is at 3rd grade level for most academic areas. He is in the far superior range in many areas. They confirmed the diagnosis of ADHD, but thankfully found no other Learning Disabilities nor any underlying psychiatric problems. He acts much like your son's description and is impulsive and hyperactive primarily.
We are looking toward a Montessori charter school for next year (2nd grade) that has special ed teachers and social worker on staff and honors 504 plan or IEP, but really aren't sure what to do at this point. The principal at his current private catholic school told us not to really bother checking out the other local Catholic schools....she said they won't be able to handle him either. To me, that smacks of her giving any other Catholic school he might apply to, a bad reference.
We are so heartbroken because we feel that our son was labeled as a "problem" early on and because he requires a lot of extra time and extra patience, they wanted him gone. We were told at the meeting with the principal that other parents were complaining that our son is impacting their childrens' educational experience because of him being too disruptive.
ANY ideas, help, comments or support the community can give us are welcome. We just joined this message board
thank you
Although not an option for most, we homeschool our DS, age 6, ADHD...and gifted. It is a real blessing for him academically. He can advance at his own pace... 2-4 years ahead in most subjects..with about 2-3 hours per day of school.
The downside is that WE have to handle a full day of the hyper impulsive little guy ! It is a blessing to have so much of the negative outside impact avoided but exhausting at the same time. Most days I wouldn't change it.
Have faith, these little ones are going to be something really special when they grow up. REALLY SPECIAL!
gander 627, I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience with your private school, not what you'd expect from a Catholic private school that's for sure. Our DS teacher designed a sticker chart for every part of his day, totalling 18 squares. She said she wanted to see 80% filled for good & proper behavior, which is 14 stars out of 18 per day. After working our way up, he arrived at the 14 star days within 4 wks, with daily rewards every day he met the goal, which was often. Once the week of having a goal of 14 stars was completed, teacher wanted to go to 15 stars the next week! Hubby somewhat agreed to challenging him but I am a little irritated at the push. She wanted to see 80% and now that he's reached that goal, it's not good enough? Hubby argues that he strives to better than average, why would we want our son to strive for "just average"? My argument is that it is a struggle for him to BE average with his behavior & that reaching the teachers goal is a great accomplishment for him, so why push him further? I feel like it's a big enough goal to just maintain that 80%. I would rather change the reward system & start giving the reward at the end of the week, as long as the 80% goal is reached for the week. At this point we're giving daily rewards if the goal is met & because it's most of the time, it's becoming exhausting to follow thru on the reward every day. I'm interested to hear other thoughts on the debate as we still have yet to discuss it with the teacher fully. I just announced to her this morning about changing his goals to weekly with the 80% goal, she didn't disagree or have much to say. She's old school, that's for sure. I agree about waiting. You want your
son to become confident that he can reach and maintain his goals.
If it was up to me, I would have a meeting with my son. I'd let him decide
how long he needs to maintain 80% - with the understanding that he
would not be contributing to a new reward. If he maintained it for the
period he came up with - 2 weeks, 3 weeks, whatever - then I'd have
another meeting, decide on a new goal, and a new reward.
That step system has really worked well for my son. He can catch his
breath and make sure is new good habits are good and stuck before he
takes on a new goal.
Good luck!
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