Hitting | ADHD Information

Hi CandyCane

Sounds like my household.  My daughter is 12 and she has ADHD.  Her sister is 7.  I try never to leave the younger child alone with her sister.  We have caught her once hitting her younger sister and the verbal abuse my daughter says to her younger sister is disturbing to say the least.  The younger sister is now as well starting to antagonize her older sister because she has simply had enough.

We do punish the younger sister for this behavior and tried to explain why this is not acceptable.  Punishing the older daughter is pretty much useless.  We have tried everything but unfortunately she really and truly doesn't care.  Of course the oldest claims I favour the youngest but I don't. 

I hear your frustration and hopefully things will go better in time for you.
My son is 11 and daughter is 9, so they do tend to get into it with each other.  I think sometimes having them close in age is a mixed blessing- they play and entertain each other quite a bit, but also fight quite a bit. 

The hitting is definitely an impulse control thing, in our household at least.  DS is typically the one hitting when it happens, as it's him with the ADHD.  Thankfully it doesn't happen as much anymore, and when it does I try to keep in mind that kids with ADHD are significantly less mature than their peers (otherwise I think I'd end up reaming him out because he's really way too old to be behaving like that).   
I've used 123 Magic since he was 3, so I always just send him to his room as hitting is an automatic time- out.  There's no discussion; he knows he shouldn't do it and talking about it just reinforces the behavior by giving him attention. 

Is the scenario you described pretty typical?  Are there consequences for you daughter as well if she is provoking him?  In my house, if DD gets caught "baiting" her brother she gets in trouble too.  That would include refusing to stop annoying him intentionally.  Granted that can be hard to figure out since, unlike her brother, she is capable of being subtle, but once I caught on that she was doing it on purpose it only took a couple of times before she stopped.  Yet another way she's different from her brother- consequences are actually effective on her! 

If you haven't already, check out 123 Magic- it's simple, easy and effective.  Other than that, all I can think of is to supervise closely, and maybe don't leave them alone together if either of them are even a little irritable.  Although I'm not sure how practical that advise is, since I personally try to avoid being in the same room as my son for more than 15 or 20 minutes at a time after his meds have worn off.  DH and I do a lot of tag- team parenting in the evenings.  

Mine are 20 months apart, same order and sex as yours.

They just started fighting about 6 months ago, but it can be due to my daughter being plain old annoying.

Do you think your son's meds are where they need to be dose wise and that he doesn't need an increase?

DO you think it could be due to frustration?

Im having problems with my 8 yr old adhd son hitting his sister (who is 18 months younger than him).  My son seems to get easily annoyed with her.......for example today Im outside hanging out washing and I can hear them inside the house (windows open) and my son asked my daughter to stop (obviously she was annoying him)  but she did'nt and after asking her 3 times and she did'nt stop so he wacked her one.  She had a red slap mark on her bare skin. He has also recently pushed her on 2 seperate occassions and she has hurt herself from banging into a wall as a result of being pushed.

I recently started the meds and whilst we do notice a difference, I wouldn't say it's a huge difference.

For anyone else who has a child that hits out at a sibling, what do you do regarding punishments.

We have given my son time outs, early bed time, loss of priveleges, positive reinsforcement when playing well and explaining and talking to him all to no avail.

Thanks

Candycane

Read 1-2-3 Magic. And try to keep them separated.