at my wits end!! | ADHD Information

This week I found out that my 9 year old son who has ADHD has been stealing from school. Apparently some kids in his class had brought in some toys that they got for xmas and he just decided to take them. When the teacher sent home an email stating what things were missing I just knew that he had taken them. I went through his room and found all the items. He had been telling me that he had traded with a kid at school for them. He kept up the lie even when confronted by myself the teacher and principal. He was of course very upset but wouldn't take responsibility. Now he has to stop in the office every morning and let the principal keep his backpack in her office and he gets searched before he leaves school. He will also be doing some community services at the school as a punishment.

I am so frustrated with his behavior and very upset that he is lying to us so easily. He did end up admitting the truth the next day so that's good. He is in counseling and he is taking prozac and adderall xr. I don't know what to do with this behavior and it makes me worry for the future. please, if you have any advice I would appreciate it.

Is the lying and stealing a new thing or has he always had a problem with it?  Have you discussed it with the counselor?  I know his behavior is frustrating, but I have to say "good job" to you for taking charge of the sitution!  Many parents "cover" for their children's behavior and this sends the wrong message to the child. But it sounds like you hit it head on and did what was necessary.  I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you (my son is still very young-4) but I just had to tell you good job and hang in there!  

My son doesn't steal, but loves to pick up things from the floor. School is a great place for this. He comes home with paper clips, little sticky note pads, tiny pencils and erasers that are worn down and not wanted, like all the rest of it. I find it in his pockets when doing laundry. Nothing of value. But he likes it!

I honestly believe that to your son it is not the value thing, it is the control, impulsive actions of adhd'ers. I believe he didn't come forward due to shame and embarassment. I want to give him all the benefit of the doubt.

I agree, talk to the doctor, I am sure that there is something that can be done to help him.

I feel bad for him, I am sure he isn't the typical "thief" he is just an impulsive adhd'ers.

Have you tried guanfacine? Are you happy with his current meds?

I would start praising him when things are good to get his self esteem back up. It sure couldn't hurt!

thank you for sharing your experience. I am going to ask his Dr. if he might need to try a different med or if we up the dose if it would help him with impulsivity. I think it is just so hard for those of us without ADHD to completely understand why they do the things they do and not be able to think of the consequences.  I do know that he feels bad that he did it.  he is a good kid Yes my DD, age 9 now, did this last year and every year prior to that. even was stealing from her teacher! It's the impulsive part of the brain. Her play therapist explained this to me even before we started down this whole road. There is a click that happens at the base of the brain, the click that makes us stop and say, "Now if I do XX, then XX will happen." Some people's clicks don't work. My DD'd doesn't work. I realized this and went back to the dr and we changed the meds until they did work. Also, therapy works. We have to do family therapy, because if not, she would doesn't have any to hold her accountable. (Both kids)   So I say, find a med that works...it is ADD...but ADD is very broad. It's like an ice berg...as many points and hills on the top of the ice berg, there are just as many underneath. And as we help "fix" one issue, another can emerge and become more relevant.   Hope this helps a little?