Any advise is better than none. | ADHD Information

I am a new comer/viewer prior to signing up. Its amazing how much stress is lifted when I started to read other parents going through the same thing I am. I have a 45lb 7 yr with AD/HD as well as a case of strong willed vocal personality. Some say ODD but would have to say more like his mother. School has been challenging in many different aspects but for most part has grown so much from the 1st day of school. He is currently taking Dextroamphetamine ER(30mg) and the doctor has also added 1/2 Clonidine 0.1mg. In school lately has been refusal of work with excuses. Any excuse from washing hands to cutting the shirt tag off cause it bothers him. With this he is very disrespectful to any adult that controls the situations. A 5th grader can tell him the same direction and he will follow but defies the teacher. Any advise? I have talked to him on several occasions about his behavior and actions toward the teachers urging respect to others. But when he gets upset he is not thinking of consequences. His grades have dropped from the 1st of the year and its worrying me. Any words of encouragement, direction or anything greatly appreciated.

It sounds like a classic case of avoidance tactics.  Some kids find that even getting in trouble is better than having to struggle through doing the work.  This is very common with kids with ADHD or learning disabilities. 

Does he have an IEP or 504 plan?  Sometimes a few simple accommodations and a little extra attention are all our kids need.  You say his grades have dropped- is drastic (like now he may fail?) or is it just enough to raise concern? 

With my son (11, adhd) I find the ODD- like symptoms tend to increase with stress.  Do you use any sort of behavior modification/reward system?  We use the Kazdin method (a book worth checking out) when things get really bad, but when things are on an even keel I rely on the less involved 123 Magic. 
  

he sounds like sensory is getting in his way, along with adhd. Is his medication working? have you tried any others?

I would have an OT evaluate him for sensory integration.

Thank you Jaderock!  Sometimes I think I should have been here years ago for sanity.   

He does have an IEP plan and actually he has been successful in the past.  From K-1st grade he refused to write anything.  Always a power struggle so they assisted him.  In 2nd grade he was doing great got 100%. His grades lowered not by much but enough that concerns me.  As well as the daily reports I get or calls I receive.   All the teachers say he is a very smart boy but the defient behavior, constant distractions with anything or pure refusal to complete are huge.   It took him 2 hrs to finish a worksheet.  He trys to bargin his way out of work.  

Amen to the magic of 123 how something so simple to say has that much power to motivate a child.  

I wish he could focus in school as well as he can with his videos, legos and starwars stuff.  

I am all for reading.  Anything to help I know my little man is smart I want the best for him. 

He started with Adderral at first but that didn't work very well for him.  Actually he was more aggressive before (Daycare-1st grade) but has mellowed out alot.  Now instead of hitting or throwing he hides under tables, desks and finds the whole situation funny.  With full knowledge he should not be doing it.  

The dr just added the Clonidine and he has taken that for about a week.  We have a call back at 2 weeks to let him know hows its working. 

Today I received a call:  Not working, defiant and disrespectful to the teachers. 

My little man is STILL refusing to do his homework during class time.  Because he is having too much fun trying to win battles with any adult that tells him he needs to complete it.     As his teacher wrote on his report card this last nine weeks "Acts as if he doesn't need to do everything all other 2nd graders are doing"    "Is very intelligent but does not apply it to schoolwork"  

Driving me crazy.  I receive calls from the school as well as updates on how his day is going.   He defies all adults, today he was upset due to not getting his way.  He hide under his desk and called the teacher a Mean ugly broad (a term that is not found in my house)   Internally I try to find things funny out of some of these situations (of course not in front of him)  But at least he hit those adjectives we were discussing the other night over our 2nd grade homework. 

We have now implimented if he refuses and wastes time at school we will eat up his fun time at home until he finally "GETS IT".    The battle of will Still continuing at my house.

Today I was talking with his teacher and they are going to make short statements to help them stop the fighing or whinning he does to get away without doing the work.   :(  .    Bless his strong willness that will weakin my own. :( 

 

Ok, sounds like his meds aren't really cutting it, huh? Or is it something else?

Remember, full knowledge and ability to participate are two different things. My 6 yr-old son "knows" how to write his numbers and letters, but when he's actually doing it, he still makes LOTS of mistakes. It takes so much time to erase and correct everything, that he gets frustrated and will scribble on or tear his worksheet. Avoidance isn't necessarily defiance.

My 4 yr-old does the same thing. When his therapists push him too hard, he throws a tantrum, or tries to go do something else, or yells no. He isn't being defiant, it is just too hard and he needs a little break before getting back to work.

It sounds like the teachers at your son's school need a little reminder about this. My 6 yr-old's teacher allows for that. If he isn't participating, he can work on something else for awhile in the computer nook. Usually it is a different assignment, but sometimes it's just cutting up paper, or coloring. It's a little mental/physical break from the rest of the class to help him refocus and be able to settle down. Another thing he gets to "earn" is time in a 4th grade science class doing hands-on experiments. He LOVES this and thinks of it as a reward for a good week. The challenge keeps him focused and the older kids are a good example for appropriate behavior.

Sometimes when a kid is not working it's because it is too hard, and sometimes it's out of boredom. A kid can have problems with both. The school needs to be meeting these needs. Do they have a twice-gifted program?

Yes, actually we discussed the boredom as he does hit in a higher average with test scores.  That is if he completes them.  

He is very easily distracted and uses excuses to stop an activity he doesn't nessary enjoy.    They said if his behavior could be more easily controled it would be an easy transition.  But what they don't want is to enroll him into it and have to pull him out due to behavior which could possibly affect his confidence. 

I am thinkin his meds are not helping but he has only been on it for a week and I will checking back with his ped in one week.  

Which he is a very confident child he is blunt and to the point. 

Any advise on how to teach your child respect.  He is the most polite boy ever until he doesn't get his way or immediate satification. 

He is very excited about science and I try to tell him there are classes you will like and classes you will not so much but we need to do things in life to make it futher.  :(   Not sure if that helps much.  Not immediate satification

 

Oh, I hear that. We call it instant gratification in our house. DS had a MAJOR problem with it until his meds, but old habits die hard, and now that we can actually do some behavior modification, it's like starting with a two year old. Charts help some folks, but in my house I just pick ONE to work on at a time. For awhile it was the use of the word 'hate', which was used way too much. 1-2-3 Magic for everything else, but the habit we are working on gets automatic time out.

I am currently working on getting one task at a time done as I ask them...for example: If I need him to get ready for school I say, put your clothes on. After it's done, I say get your shoes on. Following down the list till each thing is done. If I just say go get ready for school, he'll get side-tracked and I'll end up doing it for him. Rrrrr

I figure it's a step in the right direction to get him to listen to simple commands. My other son's OT believes that these types of behaviors can then carry over into other areas. We are really starting small on behavior mods around here, because DS's ADHD is pretty severe, so you might have better luck once you find the right med combo.

FYI Telling DS about some "future" gratification is pretty pointless. He is absolutely in the "now" and there isn't really any reason in his mind to think beyond that. It might improve with age, but you'd have to ask someone on the adult forum!    

I believe that Clonidine is very similar to Tenex and I know that Tenex takes several weeks to build up before you see the real results.  But usually you start to see at least some positive results long before then.

It sounds like you have to get the medication situation under control before you can really tackle the bad behaviors.  With my son, if his meds aren't right, it's like banging my head against a wall trying to correct his behavior!  Once the meds are set, he actually responds to "normal" techniques.

I would start with the meds.

It could be just the dosage or the med entirely.

Unfortunately, it takes a while and it is trial and error. But once you find the right one for him AND the right dosage, you will see the REAL him.

I would call his doctor and discuss.

And I would mention sensory integration. Are you familiar with that? has it been mentioned before? The comment cutting tags off shirts and hand washing problems is very very common.

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