Need to vent- 6yo troubles at school/home | ADHD Information
I just need to vent for a minute and possibly get some support fromparents who understand what I am going through!
My 6yo DS has been diagnosed with ADHD for 2 1/2 years now, on meds
for about 1 1/2. He started Kindergarten this past Fall at a small charter
school in our town that specializes in "teaching the individual student"
with great certified teachers and very small class sizes. We are now
approaching the 100th day of school for him - which is half-way through
the school year, and he has made very little progress since he started.
Our med regimen at beginning of year was just 2 doses a day of 300mg
Seroquel (which I found out from a commercial on TV, not my doc, that
this med is actually for bi-polar disorder?!). Since then we started to see
this med not work at all and the doctor added 1mg 2x day of Tenex or
guanfacine. This worked well for a few weeks, and now I feel like we are
back at square one!
All of my son's problems have returned, he's struggling at school more
than ever, and when we tried one dose of a stimulant 2 months ago he
had a very severe negative reaction and the doc says we can't try any
other stims right now. I feel like this is a constant roller coaster, as none
of the meds we try seem to work for more than a few months. It's a very
very hard thing to deal with.
Can anyone else sympathize with these issues?:
-can't follow any directions
-can't remember anything you say
-constantly forgetting important items, or losing things
-arguing and talking back
-always pretending something imaginary or invisible to the point where
he's distracted from a task or the teacher at school
-constantly has behaviour issues at school, talking to much, messing
around, getting into stuff
-teacher has to place him next to her desk away from other students in
order for him to finish schoolwork
-homework takes WAY longer than necessary
-doesn't seem to respond to rewards or discipline, not motivated by
anything
-tantrums of crying and screaming when they don't get their way
-will not play with their toys, often addicted to video games
To top it all off I am 39 weeks pregnant and expecting our baby girl any
day now! Our next doc appt. for my DS isn't until the end of February,
and because of the baby I can't move it up right now, it's just been very
very stressful and I pray this baby girl does not inherit the ADHD!
I feel so horrible that every day is a struggle for my DS and I feel like
there is nothing I can do. I watch him deal with this mental illness and I
just wish I could do something or that the right meds would work. It's
almost like he's just not present, not in the moment at all, and you just
can't get through to him. It's very hard to have a relationship with our
child and truly connect with him.
I just needed to vent, and seek support from other parents who can
understand the struggle I am going through. Sometimes it's just a little
easier to know that I am not alone when it comes to having a child with
ADHD.
Thank you for taking the time to read this
I had never heard of Seroquel until this board, but I can definitely relate.
My son is also six. He is doing well on Straterra, but it isn't perfect. I just appreciate the lack of major side-effects.
I can't imagine being pregnant right now. But, I can understand the fear. I have another son, who is four and has Down syndrome. It is very difficult to deal with both of them, sometimes.
The thing to remember is that it is OK to take time for yourself.
When my son with Ds was in the NICU, I came home every night to spend time with my older son. I think, in hindsight, that it would have been alright to just focus on the new baby for a few weeks.
It would have made it easier on me, and it wouldn't have done any life-long damage to my ADHDer. He lives so much in the NOW. Right now, if you know what I mean.
It can be so tough. I'm sorry.
Maybe give it a rest and just worry about a med change when the appointment comes. If it is just too crazy, call the doc and demand a switch now, beforehand.
I really couldn't tell you which way to go, but know that you are important, too!Hi TexasMom :)
I think I could be your twin! I have a 6yo with severe ADHD AND am 37 weeks preggo with my second son. What do you know? I really feel for you :( especially since it is so hard to get a med for your son. I tried meds like a mad woman trying to find something to help Drake focus. After trial and error, we came to Vyvanse about two years ago and it is a god send! After awhile (2 yrs) of being on it, my son developed tics too. In combo with Intuniv (time released Tenex) they have greatly been reduced. Have you tried the combo with Tenex/Intuniv and a stim?
As for behavior modification at school, I have been there! Crying every day b/c I have to pick my son up! Everytime the phone rings, thinking it's the principal :( Uuhhhh! What a hell we were in! Now, my son is doing moons better! I had a sit down with asst principal, teacher, guidance counselor, child psychologist, and a few others from the school. We hashed out things that work for Drake and they allowed him to have these 'extras' at school. For one, does you son have times of day that are worse? For my son, it is always the afternoon. He can't handle an 'out of control' environment like lunch or recess. When he comes in from these, he is allowed to listen to a CD player with headphones and 'settle'. Also, my son couldn't handle gym class. As any ADHD parent knows, our kids get enough exercise day to day and don't 'need' gym! LOL They let me bring in crafts for him to work on instead of getting 'riled up' in gym. I meet with Drakes teacher EVERYDAY! I am a force of nature :D We talk about the issues he has that day and work on one thing at a time. Some days it might be keeping his hands to himself, some days, sitting on the learning carpet with the other kids. His teacher gives him a button when he listens to her. Collecting them through out the day and turning them in to me equals rewards. Sometimes, as simple as going to the library! We also have an allowance chart at home and follow it everyday. I modify it to include what ever he is working on behavior wise at school. Rewards and praise work so well!
For my son, the only punishment that works is complete solitude. Time out! I would read '1, 2, 3 Magic' if I were you. This is the best method of punishment for my son and could be for yours too! I took it into the school and the asst principal bought copies for the teachers!
Good luck! Hang in there (((hugs))) You are soooooo not alone. I came here to vent my heart out in Dec b/c I thought I was going to have to home school my son. I felt like such a failure. KUP
Hi everyone.
We are dealing with our son who is pretty simliar. He is ADHD but with ODD also as of November. We have tried Daytrana, which caused him to have motor tics and then moved on to Metedate, which made the ODD worse. Right now he is not taking anything. We met with a psychiatrist who wants him to take Tenex, which is really a blood pressure lowering med to curb the ODD, and we just aren't sure if it's what we want to do. All of the ADHD stimulants make his tics worse, so I'm not sure where this leaves us. I am going to find another doctor who specializes in ADHD and tic disorders to get another opinion. School is bad. We pulled him out of one mid year and he is three days into a new one, for just 2 hours a day to phase him in gradually. The previous school just didn't have the resources to handle him and we are hoping a public school will have more assistance. Right now he can hardly manage the two hours. I hear your frustration. I'm here if you want to vent anytime. sgarfunkel@fuse.net.
My almost 13 yr old also had terrible 6's until we began meds. This is when we did actually, just shy of 7. He is adhd and impulsive. He was diagnosed as with severe adhd.
I don't know about the med you have him on but if he is adhd, I would want a med that works like a stimulant, not for bipolar, unless he is diagnosed bipolar. You have to treat bipolar FIRST, then you go back and add the ADHD med. Is this what the doctor is doing?
I don't understand why you can't try a stimulant right now, I am confused. Is the doctor treating your son's bipolar - is your son bipolar?
I am sorry for the questions, I know you are expecting any day, but I am so proud of you not forgeting your son.
My son couldn't handle not being medicated. It caught up to us, he should have started meds at age 5!
You will have a relationship with your son, he loves and needs you! Hang in there. We are here if you need us, and YES we can relate!! And my son, is in 7th grade and doing well!
Hang in there and post when you can! 
To BETHANN:
My son is on Seroquel to help "calm" him down a bit, and his formal
diagnoses is ADHD with a possible Mood Disorder - not otherwise
defined. He takes a combo of the Seroquel AND Tenex right now to just
kind of get by (I'm too afraid to take him off all meds to see what it really
is doing, but I can just tell by this point).
He is taking Tenex and NOT a stim because he has tried Concerta, I think
it was - zero results, he took one dose of Vyvanse and within hours it
gave him severe motor tics that were disturbing and wouldn't stop. That
is the reason why we haven't done any more stims, the doctor felt that if
one stim gave him this reaction then another one would, so we are trying
out Tenex and any other med we haven't tried yet.
My husband suffered with many of the same ADHD issues when he was a
kid, and did not take medication, and eventually grew out of most of it to
become a normal adult and fairly normal and academic teen, so I know
there is hope!
Thank you again for your words of support and sharing your stories!
Many of my friends try to be supportive but they really don't know what it
is like to have a child with ADHD and tend to pass it off as just a "hyper"
child or something. I wish they could understand that it's soooooo much
more than that.
Thanks all!
texasadhdmom & DrakePlueOne, I totally felt like I was on the outside looking in at my own life when reading your posts! The only difference is that I am not pregnant & already have a 3 1/2 yr old at home in addition to our 7 yr old DS with ADHD. DS 7 is on 4 mg of Guanfacine (2 mg at night & 2 mg in the am) and 30 mg patch of Daytrana. Texassadhdmom, the list you gave, asking if anyone can sympathize? I can relate to every single item on that list to a Tee! Just this morning, I set the time for 3 min (usually sufficient time) to get snowpants, boots, coat & hat on to leave the house & I went to brush my teeth. Came back & he is in the toy room with little brother, has snowpants on & one boot and is playing! Timer had 30 secs left on it & obviously he didn't make it--frustrating! Then sent him out to the car (I find it easier to send him out first and let him sit in his seat reading for a couple min, to let little brother get ready) and instead of getting in his seat, he played with the snowblower! So I stopped him, asked him to get in & he headed for the car so I shut the door. 30 secs later I checked on him & he was back playing with the snowblower! Grrrr! We struggle in the morning until his meds are completely kicked in, it is so frustrating. I hate to even admit it but our mornings are usually filled with much frustration, impatience & yelling...I feel like a horrible mom by the time I get to work. Then I think all day about how I know he can't help it and that he's not himself until he's fully medicated but it gets so frustrating when you're on a schedule.
He also struggles with Gym class & recess the same way you guys have described, almost like he can't handle the stimulation, it just riles him up. But, at the same time, we like for him to have a way to release his energy & don't want to deprive him of that activity. DrakePlusOne, you said that the only punishment is solitude...we have also found that sending him to his room to read his books or magazines definately calm him down. We don't use it as a punishment but when he's getting crazy & can't figure out for himself that he needs to calm down, we'll ask him to go to his room & read for a while, it totally calms him down.
I don't have advice to offer as it sounds as though we are in the same boat, just know that you're not alone. Coming to this board does help. I have found so much information here & different things to try. The main thing is to never give up...they are so innocent & need us to do what is best for them to succeed. Good luck.
Yes, Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. I am sure she will grow to idealize her older brother. My first born adhd'er always wanted an older brother, oh well. He had to settle for a younger sister.
Enjoy your children!!
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!! How wonderful for you. My ADHDer always wanted a sister instead of a brother. Best of luck to you.THANK YOU! Reading your responses has really turned my frown upsidedown! It is VERY comforting to hear that I'm not alone.
My son doesn't seem to struggle with any active times at school, in fact if
they didn't have gym and recess I think he would be worse, he needs the
release! His problem is usually that he doesn't take a nap and gets over
exhausted and acts out sometimes. But they don't have naptime next
year, so I guess he needs to get past it.
Thank you also for sharing info on what meds worked for your children,
there are some you mentioned I haven't heard of and would like to
discuss with his doctor.
And in late breaking news, my baby daughter was born on Saturday and
we are both doing well, my DS adores her and is very excited about being
a big brother, he's made a great transition into that role!
Thanks again everyone, my spirit is renewed with hope!