new to the board | ADHD Information

Hello everyone, I'm new here. I have a 12yo son that was diagnosed with ADD. He is getting terrible grades in school, has very poor social skills, and seems angry at the world. I am very frustrated because I had him tested about 5 yrs ago and was told he did not have ADD/ADHD, when I just knew deep down that he did! So here we are 5 yrs later still dealing with his behavior and have since been told to put him on meds. This is what I would've liked to avoid. I am very nervous about starting medication for him. I've heard such horror stories, some even as extreme as death! He hasn't been prescribed anything yet but I just wanted to see what experiences any of you have had and how you've dealt with it. We've tried herbal remedies with no luck and this is our last resort. I just want him to be able to have a normal life! Thanks for reading.

Welcome to the board. Please read through the message board to educate yourself about ADHD and the meds for it. Anyone that puts information out there using fear tactics to make their point is usally a troll or someone very poorly informed. There is not one shred of factual evidence in terms of what your claiming with regard to ADHD medication and when people die, its usally due to their own negligence, not the medication. Stick around and get the right information. Unless your child is getting effective treatment to manage his ADHD symptoms, things get worse, not better, espcially during puberty. If you provide your child with treatment that will allow him to have a normal life, only then will the family unit have a normal life.  There are very knowledgeble parents here that I'm sure are willing to share their knoweldge and excperiences. good luck and again, welcome to the board

Thank you for the warm welcome. After reading through some of the posts I am beginning to feel a little more comfortable with the med situation. Although, it seems that once they take a certain med for a while it stops working, at least that is the impression I'm getting from some of the posts.

Regarding Bethann's reply... yes, my son went through neuropsych testing and was found to have self esteem issues and some anxiety. The Dr. suggests that these are the reasons for the anger. The doctor also explained that these are also byproducts of the ADD. I am trying to be hopeful that the medication will give him the life he deserves. It's so sad to see a child NOT enjoying their childhood. Thanks again for the kind words and warm welcome!

Hello and welcome chihuahua,

I too have a 12 yr old boy. He was diagnosed when he was just shy of 5. I had read about it and diagnosed him when he was 3. I am so sorry what you have been through.

My son started meds when he was almost 7. he has had wonderful success.

Hang in there with the med trial and error while finding what works best for your son.

may I ask, with his anger, do you suspect anything else? A lot of adhd'ers have co-morbid's as well. my son has a speech delay, sensory intergration and anxiety. He is a A/B student, mainly A's. He is very hyper and impulsive, BUT not angry.

I wonder if your son's self esteem may be low since he was diagnosed later, OR if puberty is occurring, or if there could be depression, bipolar or something else.

WHat did the doctor who diagnosed him correctly have to say/add?

I am glad you are here, we can be of great help and support!! Please post any questions, concerns, etc you may have. You are at a wonderful place.

Welcome chihuahua! My son is much younger than yours (5) but he had horrible self esteem issues before meds even at this age! I guess when you think about it, it makes sense...he was always in trouble for one thing or another.  We were always correcting him and redirecting him.  "No don't do that", "Stop that!", "Why'd you do that?", "Put that down!", "If you do that again..." It's depressing for a child (and the parents!) And add to that the fact that he literally couldn't control most of his behavior and you get one unhappy little guy!

We tried many different things because we didn't want to medicate and we didn't even think he could be medicated at such a young age.  But thank god we've found the right doctors that are willing to help our son! 

Meds have completely changed his life (and ours!)  He has the ability to contol his behavior now.  He actaully learns from discipline now! And most importantly, he is much happier! His self esteem is SOOOO much better!  It's definitely not perfect and he will never be "normal" but he can be a little boy now and enjoy life! And we enjoy him now too! Medication has given my son a livable life.

And you're right, it may take a while to get the right med combination but if you have a good doctor and you keep trying until you get it, things WILL get better! I wish you the best! Please keep us posted!  

Thank you Logansmom!
I am so glad i found this board. Reading everyone's experiences and getting support and advice is wonderful.
We don't have our medication evaluation until the 19th (that was the earliest we could get in), but as soon as I find out what the dr prescribes I will update. I definately have my fingers crossed and am hoping for the best! I would love to see my add-er improve and finally have a happy functioning household!

chihuahua wrote:
Although, it seems that once they take a certain med for a while it stops working, at least that is the impression I'm getting from some of the posts.

Posts written on our message board are about opinions and personal experiences, not necessarily factual information about ADHD or the med's for it. The med's could stop working for a variety of reasons, including a misdiagnosis of ADHD but med's don't just stop working as the rule of thumb once the right med and dose is found for the eprson who truly ahs ADHD .  Once the right med is found, change may be necessary only around puberty time as hormones are changing. That's why I stress that parents speak to professionals to get accurate information. Non professionals may have opinions but that doesn't make the opinions true or factual. Speak with a professional about the reading you have done and knowledge you have gained to verify that the information your researching is correct. . The Internet could be a fountain of misinformation. Misinformation can lead to the wrong decisions for our children which is why when posting information we must be responsible about it. Its nice to know that your getting the support you need here as thats what we are all about :) Please keep us posted.

Luvmykids0240214.8569560185Hi.  I have son's that are 10 and 16.  It sounds like your son has been diagnosed, so you should ask for an evaluation in writing for a special ed evaluation.  You can get services to help your son since his grades are not where they should be.  It may just be an extra study hall or it can be extra days to turn in homework, access to teacher notes, stuff along that line.  My oldest has all these.  His grades were way down there in middle school, but the services and the help made him achieve better.  He still isn't an A student, but is doing better with the modifications.   My oldest isn't an angry person, but a disorganized person.  My youngest is the hyper and quick temper one.  Each adhder is a little different, and so that is why some meds work on some and not others.  Each one is different.  Good luck, and this place has been a valuable asset to me in the years I have come here.  Mostly, I didn't feel like I was the only one dealing with this anymore.

Meds changed my son's life for the better, I actually say they saved his life.

He could never make it through the day without his meds. He is too hyper, impulsive, silly/goofy. His meds keep all these things "in check" and his grades are good.

I too waited before meds, and it caused my son to be labeled.  All because I was afraid, my son suffered.

Please let us help with any questions, we have all been there!

Thank you all again.
I don't really have to much to write about right now. Still waiting for our appt with the psychiatrist. The funny thing is that I have been so against medication and now that I know he is being put on something, I can't wait to get it and start seeing an improvement. All of your posts have been so helpful. Not only the replies that I've gotten but also from skimming through the board.

As for the post by Aaronsmom, my son went through nueropsych testing and the results came back as average to above average. Which means, he doesn't have any learning disabilities and can not be put into special ed. The doctor is hopeful that with medication he will be able to keep his focus, complete his school work, and pay attention in class. He has a tendancy to lie about his homework because he doesn't want to do it so I am curious to see if this behavior will stop once he is on the medication. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! The lying problems stem from low self esteem due to struggles with ADHD that lead to the child always getting in trouble if they don't lie. Its not an ADHD behavior, its a survival tactic and while medication will unlock potential, it is not a behavior pill. Once the child is on effective medication, strategies must be devised to work on building this child's self esteem. Medication is one tool but its effective and proven to work to help pave the path to succeeding in all areas of life. Once on effective medication, the parent, the educators and the child must do the work necessary to bring about the best results possible in terms of the child meeting their full potential in life. Its not that the child doesn'tt want to do the homework. In the absence of effective treatment its too much of a struggle to get the homework done. Think about trying to get an assignment done and not being able to filter out all the noise around you. We need to understand why the child is acting out. No child chooses to be in trouble all the time. Its ultimately issues of low self esteem that take these children down so with the right tools, medication and a good support system, the child has the best possible shot at life. Good luck!These kids are usually very smart.  I had an IQ test done on my oldest when he was in middle school.  He was on target and average in all but reading comprehension.  Which was at college level.  This was at  12 years old, he is now 16.  He is like a disorganized cluttered professor that knows so much in his head, but it is hard to get out unless he is really interested in the subject.  This year he is mature enough that he is doing his best and paying more attention to school.  My youngest is at bench marks.  He is in fourth grade.  They are passing, understanding and doing their work.  The category is ohi or other health impairment.  If their disability is affecting their education, making it hard for them to function like a normal child, getting in the way of them learning then they qualify.  It doesn't hurt to ask the school system, if you haven't already.  It isn't going to cost you anything.  I remember middle school was a really hard adjustment for my oldest.  He did well in grade school, and I didn't have anything in place for him.  It was a school counselor that saw him struggling and told me to apply for the iep.  I am glad I did, for going into high school without it would have been a disastor for him.