May I? | ADHD Information
Is it OK for a parent of an ADHDer to post here? I know I
have sensory integration issues, but am not sure about
ADHD. I just feel like I can really relate to so much of
what is posted here...please let me know, before I
accidentally step on toes. Thanks
It seems like you're doing much better, in that you admit you enjoy the connection here. It sounds like in the past, you were mostly unable to do that. Someday you'll probably be able to accept yourself to the point that it won't matter how you compare with others, like your siblings. Not to get too philosophical here, but you "are what you are," and that's enough. Your being is enough; you don't have to justify your existence. You've had so much more to deal with than many people, and your job here should be doing the best you can with what you've been given, and taking as good care as possible of your family.
Mig58
I have two kids, grown. I post here.
What sensory issues do you feel are important?
..
Glad you are doing better.
Glad your father is tring to be supportive.
One part of accepting support is to know how to ask for TYPES of support that you need. It is often helpful to have someone just listen.
Yesterday I had to keep my Male Problem Solving mode in check. I offered to help some people who pride themselves as being independent, so I accepted their declining my offer to help, and did not try to do anything.
What companionship do you offer your son?
If I were to have had a diagnosis as a child it probably would have been for inattentiveness. Instead, I was labeled 'socially retarded'. They don't use that term anymore, but that is how they put it. They couldn't test my mental abilities, because I wouldn't respond to their questions. I wasn't just shy, I was somewhat anti-social. Then I switched from public to Waldorf school and it never came up again.
I have sensory issues with all of my senses and am minimally low-tone. I crave touch, but really don't like to be touched. Noises, smells, tastes can disturb me for no apparent reason. Certain visual imagery can make me cringe like fingernails on a chalk-board (pockmarked snow, a bumpy hillside, the way aspen trees look fuzzy in the distance). I've learned to overcome most of these, especially taste-textures, but I can really understand my son's issues with food.
I spent most of my childhood in a dream world. My mother really didn't like me, because I didn't seem to need her or anyone else. BUT, the opposite was really true. I craved companionship and acceptance, I just didn't know how to receive it when offered. My parents always said I was too independent. Again, it is more that I just don't know how to accept assistance. I have an over-inflated ego directly related to my many insecurities. I was overly bossy with those familiar to me, and shy to the point of anxiety attacks when in public situations.
I have learned some coping skills to deal with the rest of society, but it has taken 2/3 my life-time to get to this point. I have taken on an "I don't care what others think" attitude, just so that my social anxieties don't override my ability to function. And yet, I always think I'm doing ok, until something pops up to remind me that I'm barely holding it together.
My family is supportive, even though they admit they don't understand how I work at all. In that, I am lucky. And yet, I am the least successful of my siblings (not counting my eldest brother who has diagnosed ADHD, but even he has been married for years and has a steady job...neither of which I can boast about).
I guess I just find it interesting that there are so many others on this board who discuss things in a way that I've never heard before from my peers or my family. I feel a connection that I just haven't found in my life before, and I wanted to take advantage of the fact that you all are here. Even if I'm shy about discussing my many short-comings, I appreciate the non-judgmental attitude of so many of you here and even if there is criticism, it is anonymous which makes it so much easier to handle.
Thanks for the Ok.