New here
Hi all...
Never in a million years did I ever expect to be searching for info and support about this...Amanda is my 3rd child of 5....she is 8 and in 3rd grade (her bday was on the cut off date...we prolly should have held her back..but...). The school, after doing the conners scale, is leaning toward add/adhd. I have an appointment for her to be evaluated the end of march.
Every part of me rejected the idea that my daughter could have this...but the more info i have read, the more "signs and symptoms" i have looked at, cripes...It has me wondering...and thinking that all the pat answers and excuses i've made..how much have i hurt her? and how come it took to the 3rd grade for someone to say...hey..there might be an issue here? I wonder, in my denial, how much have i missed for her?
I am sure I will get to know many of you better over this process...and I thank you in advance for help and advice i am hoping will be flowing my way.
quick question...what do i tell her about the upcoming evaluation? she is a HUGE worrier...and lately has been experiencing almost anxiety like attacks...i dont want to influence her for the eval, but i dont want to spring it on her either...she does not handle new situations and/or people well.
thanks again. any advice is more than welcomed.
Amen to that. I was afraid I had actually waited too long. It's nice to realize that I, myself, have very few memories earlier than 2nd and 3rd grade, and even these are somewhat hazy. Brain development may be critical in the early years, but I think social is developed later. I could be wrong here, but it seems to me that most of my social skills were learned in middle and high school. I'm just hoping that making an early catch will also make those later years a little easier for my ds.
I also agree with the advice about being open about the eval, but not putting too much stress on it. I try not to put too much emphasis on things like that...I just include it in the list of things we're doing for the day and make sure that the following event is something to look forward to, i.e. first we're going to library, then to your appt, then we are going to the park...so let's get going.
I hope it goes well for you and for your dd. Keep us posted.
"...quick question...what do i tell her about the upcoming evaluation? she is a HUGE worrier...and lately has been experiencing almost anxiety like attacks...i dont want to influence her for the eval, but i dont want to spring it on her either...she does not handle new situations and/or people well...."
Quick question...yeah, right! the question is quick, but maybe not so much the answer to address Amanda's anxiety about things! She could be queing off of you to some extent if you too get anxious about things. So first order of advice is.... stay loose! Easier said than done, but calm will serve both of you well in the long run. If you don't get any good suggestions from folks here on what to tell her, you might call back the doctor's office and ask them for advice...they must get asked this question a lot!
But most important, don't blame yourself for past "could haves" or "should haves"!
And, by all means, read all you can (all you can stand, really, as much that's been written repeats the same info).
And, above all, just because she may be diagnosed with ADD doesn't change her one bit--she may share some of the same traits as others diagnosed with ADD, but she's still unique and sensitive and special! "One size does not fit all" when it comes to helping someone understand and adapt to ADD traits.
Oh, and welcome Amandasmommy! Amanda's lucky to have a mom like you whose already looking around for advice and information. Plenty of that here!
My daughter sounds very much like your own (young for a 3rd grader,
always clingy and tantrums with new situations, worrier, and experiencing
what we think could be anxiety attacks). She also has what we call "ants
in the pants" and always struggled in school although she seems so
bright to us. I always suspected adhd but when mentioning to teachers
they never thought so. The summer between 2nd and 3rd grade I got her
diagnosed (mostly because of the crying at night where she would say she
is stupid, weird, and had no friends - although teacher said she seemed
fine at school with the other kids).
When she went for her first diagnosis she was very nervous and cried
when we told her, but did great once we got their. She loves her regular
physician so we just explained it as another doctor that could help her
feel better and that they were only going to ask questions - no needles
or anything. This doc was of little help, diagnosing with her with avg
intelligence and adhd, but discounting the emotional problems. When I
explained her sensory issues when it comes to clothes and the dressing
nightmares, he said she might be seeking attention and said OT only
could help with this because the child gets extra attention. People on
this site have said OT helped a lot with this problem so I discounted him
as anyone who could help except to give her meds (which I am not
against).
This year when the stomachaches, headaches and "jittery" feelings
seemed more than we could take, we've made an appointment with a
child psych. who was highly recommended by other moms.
With the new doc appointment, she is eager to go so she can get help.
Clothes have stopped bothering her but the same "jittery" feelings remain
and we can not figure out what triggers them. My advise would be to find
a doc that others have liked if you can.
Hi,
I kept the evaluation explaination very simple, "we need to see if there is something we can help you with to be more successful in school." You might even call it "an education check-up, just like the check ups you get at the doctor." If the person doing the evaluation is good they will know how to calm your child and get their job done at the same time.
Just curious about your statement that the school is leaning towards ADHD? Who is doing the evaluation?
Additionally, I think from reading on this board you will find children are diagnosed at all different ages. There is no magic age or grade. Most depends on the child's ADHD weaknesses and when their ADHD causes them to lag behind their peers.
Regarding denial.... we have all been there. If you are catching ADHD at her age your ahead of the game.
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