Painful ADHD relationship | ADHD Information

I’ve just come out of a relationship with a girl who has ADHD.

I loved everything about her, yes I’m a very patient guy, (I enjoyed calming her down or noticing when she had her ADHD thingies…) It didn’t bother me that she didn’t accomplish what she set out to do or couldn’t keep her promises.

The main and only reason why our relationship didn’t work is because she was constantly looking for attention from new guys and girls (this is a year into our relationship)… words can’t describe how much pain this put me thru. I would ask her to act normal for one night.. and she just couldn’t.

She would say she’s going out with a friend of hers and it turns out she’s out with this guy that likes her.

I can forgive her, because I understand its sensation seeking: She took concerta for two months.. it was great, it really made me realize that she couldn’t help the way she was. She became honest and didn’t have problems with sensation seeking.

But now the doctors decided she needed to try different drugs.. I couldn’t handle the emotional roller-coaster of not knowing when u can trust somebody. So I split.

My question to those in ADHD relationships:

is infidelity a huge issue? Or was I just to stupid to believe the stuff her shrink was telling us? (she can’t help it and really loves u)

ADHD doesn't make you lie, sneak around, or cheat. Sounds like she is using it as an excuse to do whatever she wants and not worry about the consecuences. You did the right thing in ending it doesn't matter what meds she is put on  if she wants toi run around on you she will.

ADHD problems stem from impulse control so you can wind up doing some pretty hurtful things in the spur of the moment. The fact that she said she was going out with a friend and then really went to meet another guy proves that it was all planned out. Like I said we ADDers can do some pretty dumb things somtimes but we never plan our dumb things in advance. They happen in and instance and the next minute your regretting what happened.  

Are you sure she was cheating? Or just flirting? If you and the other people she sees are aware of her condition then a bit of harmless flirting isnt a huge issue- if you can trust her. I hope in time she realises how lucky she was to have a great caring guy like yourself.

I have to say I can understand a little- I have ADD myself and I guess it was almost a defence mechanism- transfer you attention to someone else before you get hurt.

I soon realised, though, that I was only cheating myself. I've met a guy that I actually am falling in love with. While I am doing the "two month itch" I realise I am most likely going to stay with him for quite some time. And it doesn't worry me that much anymore!

If she's ready she will come back and mean it. If not I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful girls- ADD or not- who would love to have you as their boyfriend.

GOOD LUCK! 

**WARNING**  dating a bisexual female is TROUBLE!! I know from expirence! my last 3 were BI! now it may seem somewhat insignificant that she is, but from my trials with them, they are crazy! Now when i meet a bi girl, i know her whole personality the important parts at least.. they all have common traits ect.. Im sure you know this! also being with someone who you love, and while they may love you.. They will cheat!! they treat their female relationships(sexual in nature) as almost not cheatting, if you know what I mean.. well anywho, steer clear!! while most of them have very interesting personalitys ect.. go 4 a str8 girl!! please! youll save yourself a lot of pain in the end

 

just my thought.. just an opinion mind you!

I didn't think ADD or ADHD made a person look elsewhere for attention of guys  if she has a boyfriend  mirror-me She sounds like someone would never be able to keep a guy going for long. I don't think  it's part of ADHD. If she cared about you  she would include you when she was with friends some of the time not all of the time.  She probably wasn't just that into you sorry that is my opinion.. I was married my ex found a lot of lady friends on the internet until he cheated on me with one of them.  His words they were just friends.  Unless she includes you as part of her new friends and lets you to get to know them I would be weary. funny,   ADD  was part of the problem in my marriage. My  forgetting things I said I would do, my  never thinking to put my socks in the hampoer and leaving them on the floor by the bed every night...I just  was thinking of other stuff,  my  financial impulsiveness  cause some  money isses, my inadveeertantly looking around  and  shifting attention   stuff while i was talking to my Wife...DROVE HER NUTS!!  In the end she was anal and I   am like pigpen leaving a trail of debris   behind me rarely closing a cabinet etc etc  always  focused on 5 othert things as well as what I was doing. Her organizing really did  make my life easier and she really  never understood  that  life skill was   like a blackhole I could never fill..... BUT.... she cheated on me  and I FILED not her.  ADD  didnt make me cheat on her.  I remember   we got a compouter  and  i flirted a bit in a chatroom. I felt soooo guilty I never did it again. THe bottom line I believe is when you love someone you  dont want to cheat on them... Dont blame the ADD  for her   charachter shortcomings. She may be attracted to excitement  and impulsive  but she chose that outlet  rather than another.

i love my hubby to bits and wouldnt dream of having an affair and ive got adhd

pmsl circus monkey

you must of like being with a bi girl infact 3 of them lol , not at same time i hope? lmao

thanks for making me laugh today xx