Punishment? | ADHD Information

I believe its not right to punish my son when he isnt on meds because I understand he cant control some of the things he does. But in the same breath I know he needs to learn he cant 'get away' with doing some things. I have learned to pick my battles and put to the top what is the most important. I need help and Im not sure what to do. I have takin some things away but not sure after doing it so many times if its conecting that if he does something this is going to happen... HELP Good luck.   We worked on only one behavior at a time.  It makes it so much easier to track and gives you one thing to focus on.   Simplicity is also the key.   Any of the other systems with more complicated schemes failed at our house due to lack of parental follow through.  This was simple and easy.

Also,  just spending time with your child one-on-one doing whatever they want also makes a difference.   The more positive interactions one can have the better things will get.


WOW thats a great idea!! I will put that together tomorrow and let u all know in a few days how it is going We had a lot of success when we approached changing behaviors from the positive perspective.  For example, a couple of years back,  we decided to work on my daughter's compliance.   We created a simple "OK" chart.   Every time, she did what she was asked - no matter how larger or small - she got a tally on her chart.  We even come up with situations were she couldn't fail - so she could feel good about herself and earn tallies.   One a tally was earned,  we didn't take it away - keeping everything positive.    Once she earned the a certain number of tallies,  she got a reward .   For her, that was getting her DS back and then she also earned a game.   We kept it very positive - that made a huge difference as so much focus gets put on the negative behaviors.  They are always getting in trouble.    

Just recently,  we used the same thing again.   I was getting tired of her being really loud all the time.   We decided that for each day she kept her voice down, she'd earn points towards an iTunes card.   With no reminders, it was 2 points,   one reminder 1 point, and more than that,  no points.   It worked great.   Within a week or so,  she was able to control herself better, earned her itunes card and we haven't had any problems since.


mommy4david...does your child no longer suffer the affects of lead poisening? You no longer post it in your signature so I was just curios.ya he does - I have to put that back in again. Thanks for reminding me! I keep forgetting lots of things anymore.... We have implemented something similar at school.  Our DS7 was struggling with impulse control & just plain silliness during the morning when his meds weren't fully kicked in.  It didn't seem right to punish since he wasn't completely up to par, but at the same time he knew better & needs to learn the impluse control somewhat on his own.  We met w/his teacher at conferences last week & she came up with a sticker chart for each increment through the day, there are 18.  She wants to see 80% good behavior so that is 14 stars.  She did it a couple of days w/o him knowing just to see how he would do & one day he got 6, the next he got 13...the day he got 6 was a very regimented day w/lots of school work & a couple of reading tests, the day he got 13 was a more relaxed day.  So, we've started it now this week & Mon went with a goal of 7 stars, something that was easily reachable to build his confidence & want to do better.  He came home with 10 stars that day!  So for the last two days we've let him choose his goal & yesterday he exceeded it again!  We'll see about today cause he set the bar kind of high.  Our rewards were chosen by him & are simple, 1/2 hr computer time, 1/2 hour Lego time with Daddy, 1/2 hour puzzle time w/Mommy, a new yo-yo...simple things that don't cost a lot but mean enough to him to try harder.  So far it's working great!  I'm glad she came up with it cause I'm not creative with these kinds of things but I do believe that positive reinforcement works way better with our ADHD'rs then negative.  With negative or punishments...I truly think they don't connect it as well.There all such good ideas. Well we have the chart and have been doing the tallys. The first day was pretty good. Yesterday not so well and he didnt earn his game cube back. Im hoping he will get the idea and start to get the hang of it. As a child I had a similar system as the aboves...


I had a Sticker Chart system. It was a board nailed up in the kitchen that listed good behaviors and each time I was good I could paste in a new sticker. (I loved stickers!) When it got full, I was able to go to Chuckee Cheeses' and be crazy crawling through the tunnels...

When I was bad, I never got a sticker removed, I just could not put one up.

From the basics I know of Psychology, there is Positive Reinforcement, Negative Reinforcement, and Punishment. The last two are NOT the same, and Punishment should be avoided.
cisbrane40250.6101851852My son has baseline things - like access to video games - that aren't
taken away unless he has a serious infraction - like he causes another
child to end up in the hospital.

Then he earns extra weekly benefits, of his choice, like going to a movie
or something similar. That we chart for. Longer term goals work better
for him.

Here are some tips:
It's not going to work overnight.
Ramp up the goals - you expect to only remind him 5 times a day, then 3
times a day, etc.
Tackle one behavior you want to change at a time.
Make sure you don't make him miserable by taking things away - make
him work for something he doesn't already have access to.
Don't make it too easy to earn something, and don't make it too hard,
either.
Give him daily positive feedback (like, wow, you earned 6 stickers today!)
that can be added up to earn a bigger goal.
Get your son involved - maybe you're making too big a leap for him (or
it's too easy). Also, if it's a goal he chooses he'll be more willing to try to
get it.

Good luck!Oh my gosh... This is the question of the day in my house! My son is older so the sticker charts etc are not really appropriate. My biggest problem is the behavior vs punishment. Any time he gets in trouble, he just digs a bigger hole for himself to get out of. We always start out with a small consequence but that just makes him more angry and he winds up escalating it into a more severe punishment. The big thing in our house is video games and computer time. He'll go from losing a couple of hours of video games to losing them for the whole week, or even longer! I know positive reinforcement is key, but it is just so hard to find the positive. And then when you do give a compliment he expects to get something for it! ugh...So far so good with the tallys! So try that too chihuahua! I think u will like the results too! Takes a few day but he did catch on! My daughter was too old for a sticker chart - so we had a chart on the fridge with simple tally marks.  It was very effective.