pls help, so lost wanna cry | ADHD Information

hi all,

where to start... my son from a very young age has had a temper, came out at the age of 2/3 when my marriage ended and thought it was because of that. he sarted to get angry, wouldnt listen to anything or anyone, couldnt sit still or consentrate, didnt have any awareness of danger. he would get angry for no reason and throw sofas around the living room, my daughters cot around the bedroom, wait at the top of the stairs and purposly throw skateboards and anything else big and hard down the stairs at her (only 1/2 at the time). i thought it was just a stage and he was confused because my ex had left, all i got from my parents was that it must be me, i was doing something wrong and for a long time i believed it until he started at their house one day and i think they started to get worried too. he started getting better, not an angel by any means but at least the angry bursts had stopped.

i met my partner 3 yrs ago and now have a 1 and 2yr old who my son loves more than anything. he is now nearly 8 and the abger has come back but worse. he breaks doors, bottles of perfume, anything really he can get his hands on. he has gone to attack the babies a few times but at home i ca handle him, he knows when he starts to feel angry he goes upstairs until he's calmed down but last night he started wilst we were out. nothing too bad just being silly near roads, trying to rip up his bus ticket etc. when the bus finally turned up he didnt want to get on then he didnt want to sit on a seat but on the stairs. i finally got him on a seat and sat next to him to stop him running off everytime we stopped but he started punching himself in the head and face. i held his wrists thru his coat to stop him hurting himself (i have arthritis co cant hold on that tight but it kinda worked!) he then tried to bend his own fingers back so i had to keep his arms apart, then it was headbutting himself and  me to get me off him so he could hit himself again  

he then started screaming i was hurting him, breaking his bones, why was i doing this to him, digging my nails in and pushing my elbow into his chest and neck so he couldnt breath (which i wasnt obviously)

then some woman got off and told him 'dont worry son u'll soon be 16 and be able to leave home' i asked her if she ever had to deal with this sort of violence in a child and she claimed to work for social services and i should never of restrained him. i feel useless and dont know what to do.

i work as a family support worker voluntary and one of my familes has a child like this and i believe he has ADHD but no-one will listen to me other than the ones that have seen him like it.

pls help

I am so sorry for how you feel right now.

You need to have him evaluated. It could be adhd, BUT it could other things as well. I wonder if there is depression or bipolar.

Please contact your pediatrician and have the doctor refer you to a pediatric neurologist who specializes in mental health for children.

We went to our city's children hospital for an evaluation.

This way you will have a professional evaluate him and will know instead of just wondering. I have friends in London with a daughter with adhd & learning disabilites, as well as aspbergers.

Tell me, what do his teachers say? Any feedback?

hi

his teachers dont really help, if something happens they either dont tell me or tell me 2-4 weeks later by which point its too late!

he is disruptive, shouts in other childrens faces when they're reading for no reason and just generally annoys them. he swore at a dinner lady once for telling him not to throw berrys in the hedge.

when i try to talk to him he gets angry because he thinks hes in trouble, bue he doesnt sem to remember or know what he done. the longer the episodes or attacks the less him seems to remember which is obviously worrying.

Once you have the diagnosis, you will know.

In the meantime, go to the school and put in writing that you want the school to evaluate him!!

do you know about this? It is for qualification for IEP or 504 plan. Then they have to accommodate him with services.

I know that there are special education in england but it is accomodated differently. I am sorry but I don't know the process. I know my friends children are on adhd meds and it is helping! They also go to special schools!Having a child with ADHD, the behaviors sneak up on you. It's not like
one day he's a darling, the next he's a demon - you don't notice the
changes until you are forced to make changes.

My son was out of control. He once knocked a girl down on the
playground and then jumped on her arm trying to break it (thankfully he
wasn't successful).

I got the diagnosis, I followed his doctor's advice, and this week he got a
"happy note" which means he was the student of the week. It's a hard up
hill battle, but it can be won if you put in the time and give everyone a
break.

Keep talking here - it will keep you sane.

Best of luck to you!

Hi

Please get your son evaluated first.  He needs help more than you do and whatever anger n etc behaviours is not in his control. I believe sometimes teachers may not be aware of his condition.

Dont forget, you are his mother and the only person who can stand up for your child.

Hope my advice will be helpful to you.